AFter 26 years of opiate use (for chronic pain from multi back fusions) and escalating use because of the mind numbing pleasure I quit "cold turkey". It was NOT fun and I can't imagine hell being worse..... shakes, vomiting, sweating, muscle twitching........you name it........ It has not been 15 months (to the day) and I am still sO miserable , that if I were not afraid of God's wrath and the damage it would do to my (grown) children, I would take my life. The PANIC/TERROR/ANXIETY is more than I can bear and I literally am living minute to minute. My life is in shambles (and was much better before I quit...... except for the "looks" on peopl's faces becase I so frequently repeated things to them over and over again. Does ANYONE have AN? suggestions? I truly am desparate! LIfe truly SUCKS and I am afraid. I have neer been afraid and have always been a "control person". I have been to many doctors......... think most of them are pure m***n's and don't know what to do. They contend that noone could do what I did and it was a miracle that I did not die. I am not feeling so miraculous. PLEASE!!!!!! ANy suggestions?
If anyone on this site can understand what you are going through it is me! I have been there and still am! I have been off of Oxycontin and Oxycondone for 2 years and 5 months, and there is not one day that goes by that I don't think about going back on it! I do not know if you are male or female, but if you are female I would hazzard a gues that you are having the panic attacks for the "simple" reason you are heading into menopause. After 15 months, the panic attacks/anxiety are NOT related to your AMAZING accomplishment. And by the way you must be SO proud of yourself for kicking this terrible disease in the groin! Your life wasn't better for being on the drugs!! It just felt better because you were stoned!!! It is true that what you did took guts and a little insanity ;-) When I ever thought of going cold turkey my brain just made me take more. I've always considered myself a pretty intelligent person, but one day after shaking, vommiting, diarehea etc I went to a walk in clinic and the doctor said "you know this could be all happening because you are addicted to your meds!" I replied "It can't be the drugs, because I feel better when I'm on them!!!" He looked at me like I was insane, and the part of my brain that wasn't high was thinking "DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU SAID?!" I too was always in control of everything, then I was SO angry that these little pills had full control over me! And that's the hard part really isn't it? Is having something like this take over your life! BUT that said, YOU got control back! And that was and is an incredible undertaking! I am presently still on painkillers, but not like before - of course. And I will say that Clonazepam and Clonidine are VERY effective for handling my panic attacks. They are none addictive and you need something, and even though you are back in control, you have to release some of that control and have some help dealing with what MANY people go through. I am usually into herbal medications - such as St. Johns Wart! you could try that and other herbal medications 1st. There IS light at the end of your tunnel! Sometimes we just have to release a "LITLLE" control over to either a herbal or pharmaceutical solution! Try herbal 1st OK then if that doesn't work, go get the above perscribed to you. You ARE NOT alone, and if you ever need to talk or freak out on someone I am here to listen. GOOD LUCK, HEALTH, and PEACE OF MIND!!!