Feeling depressed after stopping the birth control pills?

Hey girls! Thanks so much for your answers, it really helps to know that I am not alone in this. I am so over this... I can't imagine being silly and full of love and affection for my boyfriend anymore. I went for coffee with my dad yesterday, he lives far away so we don't really see eachother often and i was SO HAPPY to see him I was hugging him and was so joyful around him. Then I began thinking about how I wouldn't be like that with my boyfriend and then im back in the dark thoughts. I have read people saying that they lost affection and connection with everyone in their lives and I am overthinking it because I only feel it with him. I am super happy around my friends or family. It really sucks and I can'T believ you guys have been through it longer than I have, I can't continue like this! I admire you guys.
Sometimes, I feel like I should not just wait each cycle to see if it is better. I want to treat this ROCD thing. I don't ever want it to be in the back of my head for the rest of my life... Thats how it feels right now I think it will always be there somewhere. This kind of experience scars me for life I think. Anyways so sorry for my depressing posts. Girls, we are sum BADASS women and we will get through it. Sending you guys positive vibes and energy.

Hi! I haven't seen your previous posts but I am one of the ones that experienced the loss of connection with everyone and everything. I can totally understand how the hormones focusing in on your love relationship would make you feel like those feelings are true just for him! Completely understandable. I'm almost out of month 6 and too have thought I'll be damaged for life from this, but that's not how life works I don't think lol we'll take this experience and be able to educate women about the pill and be able to go on happily once we're balanced out, and one day won't even think about it - than one week - one month - one year - until it's behind us. But boy does it seem like the end of the world in the moment! I've been through the worst symptoms described here. We are literally soldiers for this.

Lol I think we are the same person and probably are dealing with the same exact thing. I feel for you good luck! & yes we are completely BADASS

Do you guys also freak out when seeing other couples ? Like couples that seem soooooo in love and comparing it to your relationship? I hate comparing with others because it affects me a lot.I used to be suuure mine was the best relationship ever. The notebook wasn't even cute for us.

Hi girls! Im almost 4 months off the pill and today im having a setback. I don't have ROCD but i have HOCD. Like every lil physical feeling will cause me to panic and trigger my anxiety. My main issue are the physical symptoms of my anxiety like heaviness of the head, weakness and lethargy. Anybody here get the physical anxiety without any trigger at all?

Yeah it bothers me too. I think the worst is just feeling like you completely fell out of love with the person who you were once so in love with. The change is definitely weird and it’s most definitely not a coincidence that we all just randomly fell out of love after stopping the pill. I started to feel this way while on the pill and that’s why I got off.

I’m the same way. I’m so happy to spend times with friends and family and I feel like I’m just not excited to be around him. It’s so sad! BUT what I always tell myself is that if I truly didn’t love him I wouldn’t even be here writing on this forum. I would have left him months ago when I first started to feel the disconnection. Do you have any other symptoms or just ROCD??? also what does your ROCD consist of ?

I mainly have ROCD and anxiety related to ROCD. I dont really now which comes first.
In the first months I had depression I think (never really had depression/anxiety before so..).
After 2 months, I'd say that the depression kinda left but anxiety and ROCD still are present to this day (7 months off) especially the 2 weeks before period.
As for my ROCD :
always doubting my love for him, freaking out about our future ( kids, first house, which my boyfriend is very excited about.. then I feel guilty because I don't necessarly want these things ( im 23) right now and start thinking it's because I dont love him)
In the beginning stages of ROCD i would obsess over song lyrics, tv shows, romantic movies, about anything really and would totally freak out and over analyze.
In the beginning, I would also panick when he would text or call because i was asking myself : am I excited ? This moment used to be the best moment of my day ? Is it right now ?

Still now, almost everytime we have a silly moment, my mind reminds me that I don't love him and that i have been doubting for so long which usually ruins the moment.
To this day, i struggle with a lot of doubts about our relationship. It started like a month before I stopped it. And I have been on it for like 3-4 years without any any any problems at all. The fact the ROCD started before stopping kinda confuses me and screws up even more with my mind...

You girls seem to have such amazing boyfriends to whom you can talk about it. I feel too bad. I don't wanna talk to him about it because in the begining I told him about my doubts and I could see his heart breaking and becoming uncertain about us, and OMG I don't want to do that again and I don't want him to be annoyed that we only talk about that. Anyways so on my bad days, Im alone in my head and i come here for comfort. As I said earlier my bf is out the country for 4 months so I dont wanna be bothering him with this.

Just now, I wasn't having such a bad day and when we spoke on Facetime, i became angry after. He still uses our silly insides jokes and they irritate me and I become pissed. Im waiting on my period anyday now so it might explain my mood but OMG IM SO OVER IT. Thank god for this forum. xx

I’ve probably felt every single thing you’ve felt. I was only on the pill for 2 months but after 3 weeks I started to notice a difference in the way I felt! (This makes me doubt if it was even the pill that made me like this because they thoughts continued after I stoped). I think we are all going through the same thing even though each one of our relationship are unique and different. We can sense and see a change when we feel as if the chemistry between us has changed. I used to always be excited to see him, talk to him etc and now I see myself really just enjoying my alone time. Over the summer I had to worst anxiety where I would just cry and shake and tell him that I don’t know who he is anymore and that I don’t feel like I know him or love him and he was so confused. I even told him when I was really depressed and anxious to not let me break up with him! I was at the lowest point and I told him I needed to take a break but I couldn’t even tell anyone why I wanted a break! (4 minutes after I covered up by saying I needed a break from texting) LOL! anyway I would cry to my mom and say that I FELT like I needed to break up with him but I would always say that I loved him so much. This was so so confusing to me And I’m so thankful I’ve gotten better. I still have ROCD, everyday. But, it’s a lot better and doesn’t consume a lot of my time anymore. I’m only 19 and have been with him since we were 14 so like the constant negative connotations of being young and in a long term relationship are always in my head as well. As of right now I’m doing okay. I know I love him and I truly do not want to picture a life without him so I’m taking it day by day. Good luck my friends! We got this.

OH GOD. my mom has heard alll of it too! I would cry to her and be like : Im scared I don't love him anymore. Im so so so so scared !!!! And she would go : but you love him ?! If you are scared not to love him anymore, it means you love him ?!
She would be sooo confused and I remember her not really knowing what to tell me because THIS IS NONSENSE. GIRLS. THIS ALL DOESNT MAKE SENSE!!! IT'S HORMONES.
I also remember crying and telling her : im not myself anymore, something changed, Im just not me, it needs to stop.
So yeah. Im better too but it's always burried in the back of my mind (ROCD) when its not full on in my head and "in my heart"...

It’s so illogical. I spent the night with my boyfriend and it was terrible but every time we have a silly moments I always have to remind myself that I don’t love him like I used to. I also really doubted his attractiveness for a long time and his height bothered me a lot but I think I’m over that now. Also I like barely ever want to have sex so I think that causes me to believe I don’t love him anymore either. I can not wait until I feel normal again and I don’t worry about any of this. I really love this man and truly don’t think I would stay if I didn’t think he was the one for me. I often feel like I’ll never feel the same as I used to and I think that’s also because I changed as a person throughout this process.

Just got my test results back from the blood work. Seems to be that all my hormones are “regular”. I honestly highly doubt it because I don’t know why else I would be feeling like this. I’m not going to stress to much about it though because I read that other girls are here got their hormones tested and everything was normal as well.

Yup I only got blood work done once about 4 months in and everything was normal, they said my testosterone levels were a bit high but they said I shouldn’t worry unless I was displaying pcos symptoms! So don’t read into it too much

wasn’t worth it lol. I honestly knew they were going to say that though because girls on this forum said it’s happened to them.

Yeah iv had mine done twice and been told they were normal both times. On second occasion a female doctor looked at them an said one was a bit low- dunno what. I think there is a very broad scope for "normal" hence why the male doc said i was normal. but it only takes a minor imbalance to make us feel like this. Its sucks. Im 17 months now but must admit i feel so much better. It nearly cost me my marriage cos i jus couldnt be rationale about things. It was the worst time ever. I still get off days too where i feel realy insecure an paranoid!