Im feeling exactly the same Right now an its killin me. I had been doin so well an then i took my period. I jus want my old life back cos constanly feelin like this makes me doubt if its the pill. I jus dont kno anymore :-(
Me either. Like the connection is just totally gone and I don’t know how to make my life better. I want to cry!
Its so hard! trust me ive done it before and ROCD went away for more then a year! its hard to tell you what to do because you dont want to give up or make decisions when your feeling like this but sometimes you think breaking up is the only solution.. i truly dont think it is! time heals all and positive thinking, talk to ur boyfriend about these thoughts and maybe tell him you need a little bit of time for yourself! self care is so important! and these thoughts in your head about comparing him to other guys are not even real! if you were to have to ACTUALLY choose in real life, in a real life situation you would never chose anyone over your boyfriend! but guess what, the chances of you ever having to choose between your boyfriend and other guys is slim to none. the thoughts are IRRATIONAL they are FALSE AND NOT TRUE, they want to trick you! try and move past them and accept them, write them down so they have an outlet and maybe they wont be going around in circles. no matter how weird they are to write down just do it! i hope this helps you my dear - nikki
Hi Nikki!
I will slowly try to move around. With my Health OCD its making me think of really irrational things.. Ive been having bad days lately and yesterday i just have to cry it all out because its exhausting. It's been 4 months off the damn pill and the setbacks sucks.
What symptoms do u still feel after 6 mos?
Martha
I will slowly try to move around. With my Health OCD its making me think of really irrational things.. Ive been having bad days lately and yesterday i just have to cry it all out because its exhausting. It's been 4 months off the damn pill and the setbacks sucks.
What symptoms do u still feel after 6 mos?
Martha
Im so sad and depressed today. I am also frustrated because I was doing better during january and the past month or so has been worse. Its like a generalized setback and its beginning to worry me. I am just so unsure of my feelings for my boyfriend, its like I need someone to tell me that I DO LOVE HIM and THATS ITS NORMAL. Just now i was reading and havent thought about him in a few hours and when I realised he existed i had a wave of panick and anxiety... Thats not the way i wanna feel when thinking about him. Im just so over it, I dont ever even cry about it, im just like over it. Like I didnt care that i still had ROCD thoughts. Recently i have been on here reading pages and pages everyday, usually i only came here on bad days but now im mostly here... Im scared.
hmmmm for 6 months off i dont cry anymore randomly, but there might be 1 day out of the month where i just want to cry because i get frustrated if i really let the thoughts get to me.. but thats usually when my period is coming (and its late right now). Other then that i am living normally but i am living with anxiety, so i am able to do things again, and its better when im distracted with people around me and stuff, going for walks helps so much. but i guess you can say i still dont feel my normal self i CANNOT GRASP the idea of it .. i know one day i will get back to it.. and im not trying to be my old self like i am trying to create a new person but its still not sticking to my brain..... so yeah. a lot better though but still got time to go
i went through the same thing! i was reading these pages form start to finish as soon as i got home, after seeing him etc. and then one day i knew it wasn't helping me. i only come on here sometimes like twice a month when i have a setback and then off. and as soon as i stopped coming on here it did get a lot better. i will say i felt the same way, i would panic if i didn't think about him (am i always supposed to think about him? should i miss him all the time? and then panic panic after those thoughts) but one day it all just stops! the good thing is though if its meant to be it will be.. no matter what, gravity will push you two together if you are meant to be. and that is what you need to realize, living in the moment is the key to majority of our problems because whatever is happening in this moment is not the evil bad thoughts you are thinking. i love my mom but do i miss her 24/7 ? no. love is a feeling but a mature relationship knows the you dont have to feel like the happiest inlove person ALL THE TIME! you are consumed by anxiety so of course you dont feel love! when you get those thoughts just think and LABEL them! "ok you are anxiety" and you will know what they are, you will have labelled them and they are not your real thoughts! no matter how bad they may be they are not your thoughts, they are irrational and you do not have to do what they say. start coming back in the here and now, practice meditation everyday, practicing something (like positive thinking) will make it grow stronger, like anything we do in life.. so we should try to practice to be more positive
Omg i totally get what you're saying.. i know i wont get back to who i used to be. I mean after this experience i know I am a different person than i was but still can't get to that point. I guess you're right to just live normally and recognize we are all living with anxiety atm.. I wish i have a rewind button and not take the pills or a forward button to that point where we all are healed.
-martha
-martha
Hi there! I don't have ROCD but i can relate to a generalized setback. Been having bad 3 weeks already.. there are ok moments here and there but the anxiety is there also waitinh to shoot up and when it does oh boy it's scares me to the core!
I'm hitting my 4th month in 2 days - i heard the 3rd and 4th month are always bad setbacks wise so im really praying hard Im gonna have good days soon..
How long have u been on the pill?
I'm hitting my 4th month in 2 days - i heard the 3rd and 4th month are always bad setbacks wise so im really praying hard Im gonna have good days soon..
How long have u been on the pill?
Hey girls! To those who wonder what 6 months off is like - I'm at the start of month 7. I feel like a shell of myself. Like a shadow of who I was. Now the positives - No more panic attacks, no more heart racing ever (SO GRATEFUL FOR THAT), "not real" feeling has passed, intrusive thoughts are going away and I rarely get them, self-hate, deep depression and anxiety has decreased some, you name it and I've been through it. Now what I do still have - I don't feel like myself, I have health OCD (Example - I can't eat anything without washing my hands or spraying on sanitizer, I can't drink something I left abandoned because I think it could've been tampered with - which I believe is a fear that comes from being on the pill and then having these awful side effects), depression, and feeling confused about the world. I can tell you it gets better. I promise. I didn't think I was going to survive in the beginning. I was told something the other day that really struck me - "You are not in control of a chemical imbalance." This is so true. This is not our fault. The thoughts your having about your boyfriend aren't your fault. The depression you feel and not being able to feel happy when you think you should be isn't your fault. The OCD isn't your fault, and either is the anxiety or any of the symptoms of anxiety. We are not in control of a chemical imbalance. We will balance out again, that's why it's called an "imbalance." For those of you who have days of doubt that this was from the pill, don't doubt. What are the chances that hundreds of women have come on here and spoken about the exact issues that you're having? 0. There is of course a common factor. This is not something you caused. I think this is a trauma and we cannot be expected to bounce back once the symptoms begin to fade. Just like a bruise or a broken bone, we need time to heal. - Alicia
Thanks girls for your replies, its always very soothing to feel that I am not alone. It's just so hard because sometimes, it's not really a thought, it's more of a feeling which is worse. Like I was talking on Facetime with my parents and they were asking about my boyfriend who is abroad and like a punch to the stomach, his name made me feel kinda guilty/scared/doubtful. I told them he was fine blabla but as I was speaking, I could only focus on the FEELING i had to my stomach when they evoked him. This made me sad. Do you girls only get thoughts or also "feelings" too? I used to get those feelings a lot in the beginning month 1-2. I will say that I am more able to LABEL these thoughts than in the beginning. I dont go crazy over them, but getting this feeling in the middle of nowhere makes me worry. Why do I feel so scared when someone else asks about him.
By the way, Im reading a book : The untethered soul. I really recommend it, girls. I was thinking about all of us going through all the tricks our minds is setting for us.
@Guest who posted two posts up, talking about not loving our mom 24/7 : This book talks all about it and I completely agree with you. And loved the analogy and your reassurance
Thanks girls! Damn this is hard
By the way, Im reading a book : The untethered soul. I really recommend it, girls. I was thinking about all of us going through all the tricks our minds is setting for us.
@Guest who posted two posts up, talking about not loving our mom 24/7 : This book talks all about it and I completely agree with you. And loved the analogy and your reassurance
Thanks girls! Damn this is hard
*** 4 posts up ! sorry
Hey Alicia martha here :) how are you? It's been a while since our last exchange of messages. Thank you for your post! It gives reassurance to all of us who are on the beggining stage of this ordeal. Today marks my 4th month off the pill so yay! I'm celebrating that today. Though I'm not 100% healed.. progression is always good..
You know what’s crazy to me, it’s like even though I’m reacting better to the crazy thoughts. Every time I get a new crazy idea I believe it, like hello you’ve been struggling with an anxious mind all this time why can’t you just let these things gooooo. :(
I'm doing okay. Still not back to my full self yet but getting there! How have you been? Congrats on your 4th month - you're a trooper! Progression means a lot, for sure.