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my foreskin is too long and hurts when retracted however my doc thinks this normal even though sex is painful,im also concerned that a circumsition would be very painful because underneath my foreskin is very tender all the time

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Pain is never normal. You suffer from hypersensitivity, simply because of lack of adequate exposure of the penis head to the outside world. Sex is not likely to get much better if you continue down the same path. You need more exposure, gradual at first and then for longer peiods of time.
At the other extreme end of the spectrum is permanent foreskin retraction, with many benefits such as increased staying power for sex, much improved cleanliness and penis health, and other good things. Get to work on it.
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