I had an abortion 2 years ago and haven't been able to even speak about it until the last couple of months i had it because i has severe pnd and fell pregnant 2 months after having a child with a 2 year old aswell so i did do the right thing for me at the time but i wish i never did. I hate myself every day and its effecting my life and my relationship, i just feel out of control, im crying all the time and fell numb, paranoid and just constantly hate myself but i cant move on as i done it to myself so its my fault can any suggest anything im on the verge of having a break down :-(
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Hi honey! First of all a BIG hug! 2nd it is NOT your fault honey! You HAD to do what you HAD to do! It is an awful experience to go through and no one can make it for you - as each situation and person is different! IF you had kept the baby, you could have been destitute and wouldn't have been able to pay for the children you already had!
Many women feel the same way as you do - either be it for abortion, adoption, or even miscarriage! It is a greiving process that you need to allow yourself to go through! In many hospitals now, they offer counselling! It is a needed thing for you to go through and deal with!
I am sure you have heard of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? This is what you have, you went through a Traumatic experience and had to keep on moving along with life, and never had the time to deal with your loss! And NOW it is coming back to tap you on the shoulder and say "NOW you ARE going to deal with me!" So I want you to phone your local hospital, better yet if you have a womens hospital, and phoen them for support groups for people who have gone through either abortions or adoptions! Secrets can eat you up honey! So if you can talk about it to others - and those others will give you their own experiences, then this will HELP you SO much!
I want you to know honey that you HAD to do what was best for your family at the time! Of course you have regrets, we all do - no matter what! BUT if you had had the baby, there would have been 3 mouths under 2 years old to feed and raise! And most people could not do that, and IF you were having bad times then HOW could you have done that? You are NOT having a break down honey, you are trying your best to deal with grief and guilt! 2 of the BIGGEST emotions we can have! So reach out and ask for some help OK? And just have faith in your decision, as it was the RIGHT thing to do at the time! And also know that not all choices are good ones, sometimes they are life changing and sometimes essence destroying! BIG hugs and respect honey!
Many women feel the same way as you do - either be it for abortion, adoption, or even miscarriage! It is a greiving process that you need to allow yourself to go through! In many hospitals now, they offer counselling! It is a needed thing for you to go through and deal with!
I am sure you have heard of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? This is what you have, you went through a Traumatic experience and had to keep on moving along with life, and never had the time to deal with your loss! And NOW it is coming back to tap you on the shoulder and say "NOW you ARE going to deal with me!" So I want you to phone your local hospital, better yet if you have a womens hospital, and phoen them for support groups for people who have gone through either abortions or adoptions! Secrets can eat you up honey! So if you can talk about it to others - and those others will give you their own experiences, then this will HELP you SO much!
I want you to know honey that you HAD to do what was best for your family at the time! Of course you have regrets, we all do - no matter what! BUT if you had had the baby, there would have been 3 mouths under 2 years old to feed and raise! And most people could not do that, and IF you were having bad times then HOW could you have done that? You are NOT having a break down honey, you are trying your best to deal with grief and guilt! 2 of the BIGGEST emotions we can have! So reach out and ask for some help OK? And just have faith in your decision, as it was the RIGHT thing to do at the time! And also know that not all choices are good ones, sometimes they are life changing and sometimes essence destroying! BIG hugs and respect honey!
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