hi
i am married 2 years just passed. the problem is from the time i got married i was never happy with my hus.. mean to say he use to hit me for every small thing. and immediately after that he will try to patch, but will never say sorry for what he did.very egoistic. every time he hits i suffer a lot having my face swollen or bleeding from my mouth like that. 1 and a half year i didn't tell any one about this. 2008 june i told my parents about this and i thought i don't need to stay with such kind of a person and went back to my home country and was there for almost 6 months discussions happening around me. finally my hus parents told all these will not happen any more you go back to him. then finally i came by the end of Dec 2008 and exactly one month he was really very sweet to me. i thought thank god my fate has changed. but again he started two days back he has hit me so hard i just cudn't tolerate the pain. and after 5 min he comes back to me and says that's ok don't worry leave it. I just didn't talk to him and don't know what to do. I can't even tell this to my parents now because my mom's health is not so good these days. so i was just quite i didn't talk to him for 3 days and yesterday just because he was after me, i just normally started responding. he again was so rude to me yesterday night and warning me that he will hit me. What do i do. he behaves so saddistic. some times with his behaviour i feel he is a psycho. how do i handle him. please some one help. i am confused. i am bursting in to tears every day. thanks for all your replies and advices in advance.
i am married 2 years just passed. the problem is from the time i got married i was never happy with my hus.. mean to say he use to hit me for every small thing. and immediately after that he will try to patch, but will never say sorry for what he did.very egoistic. every time he hits i suffer a lot having my face swollen or bleeding from my mouth like that. 1 and a half year i didn't tell any one about this. 2008 june i told my parents about this and i thought i don't need to stay with such kind of a person and went back to my home country and was there for almost 6 months discussions happening around me. finally my hus parents told all these will not happen any more you go back to him. then finally i came by the end of Dec 2008 and exactly one month he was really very sweet to me. i thought thank god my fate has changed. but again he started two days back he has hit me so hard i just cudn't tolerate the pain. and after 5 min he comes back to me and says that's ok don't worry leave it. I just didn't talk to him and don't know what to do. I can't even tell this to my parents now because my mom's health is not so good these days. so i was just quite i didn't talk to him for 3 days and yesterday just because he was after me, i just normally started responding. he again was so rude to me yesterday night and warning me that he will hit me. What do i do. he behaves so saddistic. some times with his behaviour i feel he is a psycho. how do i handle him. please some one help. i am confused. i am bursting in to tears every day. thanks for all your replies and advices in advance.
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I have seen many of these relationships working for an outpatient mental health and substance abuse clinic. One thing I will tell you is that until he gets help this will continue and probably get worse.
You can leave him until he gets through a Domestic Violence course, NOT ANGER MANAGEMENT many people confuse the two and what he needs is a Mens Domestic Violence course and related treatment / counseling.
If leaving is not an option, you can begin reporting this abuse to the police each time it happens. This will either result in his not hitting you as much, or better still being court ordered to attend the Domestic Violence program I spoke of before.
One more thing, this is important threatening to call the Police will not have the same effect. Don't tell him "I'll call..." this will either threaten him to the point that he hurts you worse as a warning against calling them, or remove your ability to make the call. It will not keep him from hurting you or make him realize anything!
Finally, my best advice to you is to pray. Pray for help, pray for him, pray for peace.
You can leave him until he gets through a Domestic Violence course, NOT ANGER MANAGEMENT many people confuse the two and what he needs is a Mens Domestic Violence course and related treatment / counseling.
If leaving is not an option, you can begin reporting this abuse to the police each time it happens. This will either result in his not hitting you as much, or better still being court ordered to attend the Domestic Violence program I spoke of before.
One more thing, this is important threatening to call the Police will not have the same effect. Don't tell him "I'll call..." this will either threaten him to the point that he hurts you worse as a warning against calling them, or remove your ability to make the call. It will not keep him from hurting you or make him realize anything!
Finally, my best advice to you is to pray. Pray for help, pray for him, pray for peace.
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