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[tw for cutting and obv. eating disorders]

hi there.

this all started back in june, when i was 13. i had heard of an online community where they supported people with eds (more harm reduction than anything), and for some reason on this day i don't remember, i decided i was going to start starving myself.

i was 112 pounds and 5'3.5".

i would restrict to around 400 calories a day, but i would frequently binging, leading me to only slowly lose weight throughout the summer.

i went to california in july, and i hit 104 pounds some point during the trip. i wouldn't eat breakfeast or lunch, but i would have to eat dinner with my cousins + family, so i did. i would stay around 200-1000 calories, but i still binged a few times per week :/

when i got back to my home where i live, with my family, i got worse with binging. i stayed around 106-109 for a while. 

in october, i hit my lowest weight of 103.8 pounds.

but then in late october, i was upset, and i dissembled a packing table dispenser. i used the little blade part to scratch my skin - it wasn't nearly sharp enough to cut. that continued until i lost it one day and panicked. i googled how to take apart a shaving razor and took a blade from there. 

and that's when my self harm really did start to get worse. While i gained more and more weight, i grew more and grew upset w/ myself. i stopped cutting my arms, not wanting to leave scars (i play soccer so short sleeves), and i moved to my upper thighs + chest. 

and here in january, i'm at my really highest weight (116.2ish after a day of not eating), and things have only gotten worse.


i just needed to type a brief summary of me, not my family and not everything else.

thank you for reading.

i just needed to get this off my chest.




User avatar
Health Ace
6533 posts

Hey there I'm glad you are gaining some weight .... are you male of female and are you seeing a counseler or psychiatric help?