My daughter is in her 20s & she's never had sexual intercourse as she is saving herself till marriage.
She was recently seeing someone & stayed at his house one night. My daughter said her friend fingered her & that she would still be a virgin if he did. She let him cause she believed him. There was blood & she left.
When she came home she was crying, shaking & throwing up. This happened 6 months ago & she is still like this.
She keeps saying she's not a virgin anymore, calling the guy a liar & she keeps texting him saying "you lied to me" etc.
She says her head hurts & shakes at the same time & she hasn't slept since it happened.
I don't know what to do. Please help me.
She was recently seeing someone & stayed at his house one night. My daughter said her friend fingered her & that she would still be a virgin if he did. She let him cause she believed him. There was blood & she left.
When she came home she was crying, shaking & throwing up. This happened 6 months ago & she is still like this.
She keeps saying she's not a virgin anymore, calling the guy a liar & she keeps texting him saying "you lied to me" etc.
She says her head hurts & shakes at the same time & she hasn't slept since it happened.
I don't know what to do. Please help me.
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Are you Mia's mother? If not, this is very similar:
https://www.steadyhealth.com/I_feel_sick___depressed_after_being_fingered__Why__t265750.html#966561
Technically, she is not a virgin since she did not have intercourse. If she is having the symptoms that you indicate, I'm suspecting something else may have happened or she was forced to do something against her will.
I recommend she see a therapist. She may have been the victim of an assault and may not feel comfortable discussing it with you.
https://www.steadyhealth.com/I_feel_sick___depressed_after_being_fingered__Why__t265750.html#966561
Technically, she is not a virgin since she did not have intercourse. If she is having the symptoms that you indicate, I'm suspecting something else may have happened or she was forced to do something against her will.
I recommend she see a therapist. She may have been the victim of an assault and may not feel comfortable discussing it with you.
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Hi Dan,
Yes, I am Mia's mother. We had a long talk & she told me everything.
As she said on her post she did ask the guy. Thing is he's 45. Would you say he pressured her? We were talking about things & she is weak in not standing up for herself. Mia said she always asked if she would still be one if he did that & said "But you're still putting things in me." Then he said "Is there something you're not telling me?" I don't know what he means by that. I don't know if I should talk to him or not? What do you think? But yes, Im going to take her to a therapist. I just don't know why she is so sick & she's not getting better.
Yes, I am Mia's mother. We had a long talk & she told me everything.
As she said on her post she did ask the guy. Thing is he's 45. Would you say he pressured her? We were talking about things & she is weak in not standing up for herself. Mia said she always asked if she would still be one if he did that & said "But you're still putting things in me." Then he said "Is there something you're not telling me?" I don't know what he means by that. I don't know if I should talk to him or not? What do you think? But yes, Im going to take her to a therapist. I just don't know why she is so sick & she's not getting better.
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Hi,
I caught a mistake in my original posting. She IS definitely a virgin, sorry.
At 45, he'd know what he was doing. He may very well taken advantage of her. I don't think talking to him will help the situation. It sounds like it is over, and it should be.
She needs to cut all ties, including the texting. Some anger is good, but she needs to move on. The counselor can help find out what is going on with her. The mental anquish that she is feeling is manifesting itself physically. The counselor can help her understand that she was a victim of this person that she trusted.
It's going to take time. Not only was she violated, so was her trust.
I caught a mistake in my original posting. She IS definitely a virgin, sorry.
At 45, he'd know what he was doing. He may very well taken advantage of her. I don't think talking to him will help the situation. It sounds like it is over, and it should be.
She needs to cut all ties, including the texting. Some anger is good, but she needs to move on. The counselor can help find out what is going on with her. The mental anquish that she is feeling is manifesting itself physically. The counselor can help her understand that she was a victim of this person that she trusted.
It's going to take time. Not only was she violated, so was her trust.
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It sounds like the event was emotionally tramatizing. I would begin by asking her how and why she feels this way, and also to reassure her that what happened is okay. Psycologically, I am going to assume that she feels like she's broken her vows and thereby her personal virtue and is going though a very stressful time of redefinition.
Also, I would like to add that by definition that to lose ones virginity, they must be penetrated by a penis. By him using his fingers, he probably broke a bit of her hymen, but is no reason to say she is any less a virgin.
She really needs to know what happened is alright, before she begins to spiral any further into self doubt or loathing.
Finally, if she is still suffering, I would recommend she see a therapist for anxiety and post tramatic stress.
Also, I would like to add that by definition that to lose ones virginity, they must be penetrated by a penis. By him using his fingers, he probably broke a bit of her hymen, but is no reason to say she is any less a virgin.
She really needs to know what happened is alright, before she begins to spiral any further into self doubt or loathing.
Finally, if she is still suffering, I would recommend she see a therapist for anxiety and post tramatic stress.
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