Alright so currently i have a boyfriend and i like him very much. before i talked to him i had a crush on him for the longest time and had no doubts about myself. Well in october i had my first anxiety attack and since then ive gone to a therapist and know that i have generalized anxiety disorder. Ive worried about being a child molester,what if i dont like my boyfriend or what if i get abducted by aliens. Recently ive been worried that im a lezbian. This concerns me more than all the others because i worried about this in 6th grade before i even had anxiety. Im a senior now and 17 years old btw. Anyways i had forgotten about that worry but then the other day it suddenly popped in my head again. I like guys and they turn me on but watching girl on girl porn turns me on and boobs turn me on. I couldnt ever date a girl and i have nothing against people who are lezbian i just dont want to be one and i dont like having these thoughts. I was also watching a show on sex change and it started to turn me on for some reason? Like the thought of having a penis turns me on. but i like being a girl and wouldnt ever want to actually have a penis just the thought of it turns me on and thinking things that guys would think turns me on,, like "oh yah bend over" or something dirty like that.but i also like when my boyfriend talks dirty to me it turns me on too.so maybe thats why i think those things anyways. I feel like this makes me a lezbian because it turns me on. I feel like i should know who i am and shouldnt have to question myself and since i am questioning myself that must mean im a lezbian. Im freaking my self out i cant stop worrying about this. I just want to feel happy and normal again and be able to have a relationship with my boyfriend but my anxiety is tearing me down and im starting to give up and feel hopeless. please help.
If you don't want to be, you don't have to be...q