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i have had four abortions in the past 5 years, twice due to stupidity and the other times from birth control failures...anyway, im in an emotionaly abusive relationship and i have found myself pregnant again. i really want to have an abortion but i'm worried if i have one i'll never be able to have kids in the future when i'm married and with the person i love. all of the abortions took place before the 8th week, I am 6.5 weeks and have an appt scheduled for this weekend however i'm worried i will never be able to have kids if i have the abortion...do you have any advice?

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Jesus man... I feel like absolute sh*t for possibly having one, and you are on your 5th?

Use birth control, spermicide, AND condoms. Or only have sex when you can be an adult. 2 times to being unaware.... well start being smart, seriously how can you go through 5 abortions?

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I can't answer that for sure, but it is possible. You are putting your general health at risk as well.
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I agree with the above save your self some money and just get your tubes cut and burned. Hell 5 that is horrible, i do not believe in them i can see some one having one and feeling bad for them, but five. stop having sex!

***edited by moderator***
You are more than welcome to have an opinion, but please refrain from the insults.
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wow, I had one and cried for weeks and I am still having trouble getting over it even after a year. not to insult you but how can you do that without feeling terrible about yourself? get out of that relationship and start using other forms of birth control, or try mirena, it works for five years. good luck.
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I'm sorry but haven't you learned by now. Stop being irresponsible and using abortions for birth control. My bestfriend had 3 but has 2 kids and makes up excuse for why she had the abortions. If you can't act responsibly then you need to keep your legs closed. I'm sorry but this is unbelieveable. Tons of people TTC and your just getting rid of yours. I have 3 kids and I'm glad that they are here even though my girls were 13months apart I would not change them being here for the world. You need to act like a responsible woman and stop damaging your body the way that you are. GOD help you!!!
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Msnikki2000 wrote:

Guest wrote:

i have had four abortions in the past 5 years, twice due to stupidity and the other times from birth control failures...anyway, im in an emotionaly abusive relationship and i have found myself pregnant again. i really want to have an abortion but i'm worried if i have one i'll never be able to have kids in the future when i'm married and with the person i love. all of the abortions took place before the 8th week, I am 6.5 weeks and have an appt scheduled for this weekend however i'm worried i will never be able to have kids if i have the abortion...do you have any advice?



I'm sorry but haven't you learned by now. Stop being irresponsible and using abortions for birth control. My bestfriend had 3 but has 2 kids and makes up excuse for why she had the abortions. If you can't act responsibly then you need to keep your legs closed. I'm sorry but this is unbelieveable. Tons of people TTC and your just getting rid of yours. I have 3 kids and I'm glad that they are here even though my girls were 13months apart I would not change them being here for the world. You need to act like a responsible woman and stop damaging your body the way that you are. GOD help you!!!



I really would hate to hear this sort of thing from someone if I was already scared, knew I messed up, and was in an abusive relationship so I think that you should bear in mind that she's not asking for judgment, she's asking if she is able to get an abortion. I don't think it's very productive to pass judgment anyway, and in a health forum, people are already here to post about things that scare them because they can't approach their doctors. Please try in the future to have a little more compassion and sympathy instead of being judgmental I think. What do other people think about this?
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bluedog wrote:

Msnikki2000 wrote:

Guest wrote:

i have had four abortions in the past 5 years, twice due to stupidity and the other times from birth control failures...anyway, im in an emotionaly abusive relationship and i have found myself pregnant again. i really want to have an abortion but i'm worried if i have one i'll never be able to have kids in the future when i'm married and with the person i love. all of the abortions took place before the 8th week, I am 6.5 weeks and have an appt scheduled for this weekend however i'm worried i will never be able to have kids if i have the abortion...do you have any advice?



I'm sorry but haven't you learned by now. Stop being irresponsible and using abortions for birth control. My bestfriend had 3 but has 2 kids and makes up excuse for why she had the abortions. If you can't act responsibly then you need to keep your legs closed. I'm sorry but this is unbelieveable. Tons of people TTC and your just getting rid of yours. I have 3 kids and I'm glad that they are here even though my girls were 13months apart I would not change them being here for the world. You need to act like a responsible woman and stop damaging your body the way that you are. GOD help you!!!



I really would hate to hear this sort of thing from someone if I was already scared, knew I messed up, and was in an abusive relationship so I think that you should bear in mind that she's not asking for judgment, she's asking if she is able to get an abortion. I don't think it's very productive to pass judgment anyway, and in a health forum, people are already here to post about things that scare them because they can't approach their doctors. Please try in the future to have a little more compassion and sympathy instead of being judgmental I think. What do other people think about this?



I understand what you are saying but at some point you have to take responsibilty for your own actions. I've never had an abortion but have gone with my bestfriend to get her's done and I know for a fact that the doctor's explains what the the side affects could be and going on your 5th abortion you should be knowledgeable by now and if not then you need to educate yourself. We are not doctors so the only real way to get a correct answer is to ask a doctor. I've been in a abusive relationship before and I made sure that this wouldn't happen because of my situation. Being scared ok but taking responsibility that's just being an adult and being mature. It's not rocket science if your not using anything then pregnancy most of the time is the result and if you have to think about having an abortion because of abuse then take protective measures that's all I am saying and obviously I'm not the only one that feels this way (look at the previous post). We can only share experiences and give advice but we are not doctors.
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Msnikki2000 wrote:

bluedog wrote:

Msnikki2000 wrote:

Guest wrote:

i have had four abortions in the past 5 years, twice due to stupidity and the other times from birth control failures...anyway, im in an emotionaly abusive relationship and i have found myself pregnant again. i really want to have an abortion but i'm worried if i have one i'll never be able to have kids in the future when i'm married and with the person i love. all of the abortions took place before the 8th week, I am 6.5 weeks and have an appt scheduled for this weekend however i'm worried i will never be able to have kids if i have the abortion...do you have any advice?



I'm sorry but haven't you learned by now. Stop being irresponsible and using abortions for birth control. My bestfriend had 3 but has 2 kids and makes up excuse for why she had the abortions. If you can't act responsibly then you need to keep your legs closed. I'm sorry but this is unbelieveable. Tons of people TTC and your just getting rid of yours. I have 3 kids and I'm glad that they are here even though my girls were 13months apart I would not change them being here for the world. You need to act like a responsible woman and stop damaging your body the way that you are. GOD help you!!!



I really would hate to hear this sort of thing from someone if I was already scared, knew I messed up, and was in an abusive relationship so I think that you should bear in mind that she's not asking for judgment, she's asking if she is able to get an abortion. I don't think it's very productive to pass judgment anyway, and in a health forum, people are already here to post about things that scare them because they can't approach their doctors. Please try in the future to have a little more compassion and sympathy instead of being judgmental I think. What do other people think about this?



I understand what you are saying but at some point you have to take responsibilty for your own actions. I've never had an abortion but have gone with my bestfriend to get her's done and I know for a fact that the doctor's explains what the the side affects could be and going on your 5th abortion you should be knowledgeable by now and if not then you need to educate yourself. We are not doctors so the only real way to get a correct answer is to ask a doctor. I've been in a abusive relationship before and I made sure that this wouldn't happen because of my situation. Being scared ok but taking responsibility that's just being an adult and being mature. It's not rocket science if your not using anything then pregnancy most of the time is the result and if you have to think about having an abortion because of abuse then take protective measures that's all I am saying and obviously I'm not the only one that feels this way (look at the previous post). We can only share experiences and give advice but we are not doctors.



I agree about taking responsibility but since you haven't been there before and your abusive relationship was not her abusive relationship then it's hard to say what you'd do in someone else's shoes. Again, I think it's best to realize that we're on a forum where people are feeling pretty scared and need some help and try to help out instead of being judgmental. Sure it's not rocket science to you, but it's not always easy. How do you know that she's not being taken advantage of in the relationship? It does happen and there's no protection there, so it's again important for us to just try to give advice without passing judgment. Does that make sense?
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I agree with you bluedog, but when someone mentions that they have had 5 abortions, many people read right past the reasons.
If someone posts something that gets attention, they have to expect several "you gotta be kidding" replys.
I know we are here to comfort and offer advice, but several of our posters, usually guests or one timers, serve up a heaping helping of ridicule.
As you know, if a post is to degrading or intensely mean, we will remove it.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if every person who entered this forum was kind and compassionate, but everyone has an opinion and it's up to us to decide if it stays or goes.
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You're right, everyone is entitled to an opinion and I hope that I didn't overstep any bounds or offend anyone with my own opinion. It's just upsetting to me because I don't think anyone would WANT to get one abortion, let alone five since it's such a weighty decision, and that someone who's posting here is usually using the anonymity of the internet to be able to open up freely. But you are right, people do have their own opinions too and are entitled to them. I'm going to continue posting while trying to pass judgment though because sometimes I have my own scary embarrassing health issues and I hope to get back what I give :-)
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It's all good bluedog. We are entitled to our opinions. I remember when i first came on this board there was a situation where a guest had something like 15 abortions!!!!! Can you stand it???? Her question was "is it okay to have these many abortions" I about flipped out!!! I had some pretty nasty things to say but was soon reeled back in, (gently) Eventually all of the postings got trashed anyway as they got totally out of control.
I have made the decision that if i read a post that sets my hair on fire, i either pass it or choke down what i really want to say and offer up the sensitive side of myself, which is basically why we are here. There have been times where i have wanted to crawl thru my laptop and shake these kids straight out of their Nike's, but being a mother of 5, including 3 daughters, (arrggghhh) I keep my "mommy" hat on and realize that i would not "slap the c**p" out of my own child, tho i have been tempted in the early years.

You offer up a lot of excellent advice and you can voice your opinion for sure and it's perfectly okay to be firm, but with understanding.

PS.....did you find the eclair cake recipe that i posted? You sounded interested. yummmmy :-D
Just be careful, that damn cake has interefered with my zipper going all the way up. :$
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That's good to hear. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't out of line or anything like that!



And yes, actually, I did find it. I made it, ate it, and now I hate it because I know how many calories is actually in it and I can't have it but once a month if I don't wanna get huge. It was so goooood. Not to derail the thread or anything. ;)
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bluedog wrote:

Msnikki2000 wrote:

bluedog wrote:

Msnikki2000 wrote:

Guest wrote:

i have had four abortions in the past 5 years, twice due to stupidity and the other times from birth control failures...anyway, im in an emotionaly abusive relationship and i have found myself pregnant again. i really want to have an abortion but i'm worried if i have one i'll never be able to have kids in the future when i'm married and with the person i love. all of the abortions took place before the 8th week, I am 6.5 weeks and have an appt scheduled for this weekend however i'm worried i will never be able to have kids if i have the abortion...do you have any advice?



I'm sorry but haven't you learned by now. Stop being irresponsible and using abortions for birth control. My bestfriend had 3 but has 2 kids and makes up excuse for why she had the abortions. If you can't act responsibly then you need to keep your legs closed. I'm sorry but this is unbelieveable. Tons of people TTC and your just getting rid of yours. I have 3 kids and I'm glad that they are here even though my girls were 13months apart I would not change them being here for the world. You need to act like a responsible woman and stop damaging your body the way that you are. GOD help you!!!



I really would hate to hear this sort of thing from someone if I was already scared, knew I messed up, and was in an abusive relationship so I think that you should bear in mind that she's not asking for judgment, she's asking if she is able to get an abortion. I don't think it's very productive to pass judgment anyway, and in a health forum, people are already here to post about things that scare them because they can't approach their doctors. Please try in the future to have a little more compassion and sympathy instead of being judgmental I think. What do other people think about this?



I understand what you are saying but at some point you have to take responsibilty for your own actions. I've never had an abortion but have gone with my bestfriend to get her's done and I know for a fact that the doctor's explains what the the side affects could be and going on your 5th abortion you should be knowledgeable by now and if not then you need to educate yourself. We are not doctors so the only real way to get a correct answer is to ask a doctor. I've been in a abusive relationship before and I made sure that this wouldn't happen because of my situation. Being scared ok but taking responsibility that's just being an adult and being mature. It's not rocket science if your not using anything then pregnancy most of the time is the result and if you have to think about having an abortion because of abuse then take protective measures that's all I am saying and obviously I'm not the only one that feels this way (look at the previous post). We can only share experiences and give advice but we are not doctors.



I agree about taking responsibility but since you haven't been there before and your abusive relationship was not her abusive relationship then it's hard to say what you'd do in someone else's shoes. Again, I think it's best to realize that we're on a forum where people are feeling pretty scared and need some help and try to help out instead of being judgmental. Sure it's not rocket science to you, but it's not always easy. How do you know that she's not being taken advantage of in the relationship? It does happen and there's no protection there, so it's again important for us to just try to give advice without passing judgment. Does that make sense?



I can agree on some of what you are saying but again this is just my opinion. People will not always agree and part of that makes you who you are. She needs to get help and maybe somebody can give her good advice that will somehow turn things around. This is how I feel but I do hope that she makes a wise decision.
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First of all, you really need to start using birth control. Condoms are cheap and in some places free, and many clinics will provide the pill at little or no cost. Don't have sex if you're not going to be responsible about it.

It's unhealthy to have more than three abortions I believe. The whole process is actually very traumatic on your body. If you're thinking about your sixth, you've gone way too far. If I were you, I'd consider adoption. If you have a medical problem that makes it dangerous for you to get pregnant, get a tubal litigation.
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