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So me and my bf has been through the topic of having sex, because we are both virgins and we are curious.
I know i love my bf and all but i am afraid of the consequences of having sex. Its not only because we're curious but because we are kinda pressured.. we are surrounded by people who already lost their virginity. I mean i know it seems immature that we're thinking bout what other's say but it really does affect us. I'm young and i dont know how to handle this type of pressure. Can anyone please give me some advise about making the right decision? or how to handle this type of situation?

I would really appreciate it.

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First off, how old are you? Unfortunately, society pressures us into doing something that we may not be quite ready to do.

I would hope that you are old enough to have had "the talk" from your parents or even sex ed class in elementary school. If not, some of the consequences of having sex include, getting pregnant is the big one, and STD's such as HIV, crabs, syphilis, chlamydia, genital herpes, gonorrhea and others. The CDC's website can give you a full list and really scare you off from having sex. http://www.cdc.gov/STD/

When you do have sex, you should be on some of birth control such as the pill and your boyfriend should always wear a condom.

Ultimately, this is your decision, although I am sure that some senior members will also post and give their insightful opinions. You should also consider reading other postings such as what to expect from your first time. You will have to look for it in the list.

If you have any more questions just post them and someone will reply.

Holmestrix
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Health Ace
6880 posts
The answer is ---- DON'T.
Because you have that question in your mind, the answer is DON'T.
Do you understand what I mean?
You must have some doubt about it because you asked. If the thought even crossed your mind then DON'T.

You can never take it back once you do it. Doing it because others have, is a mighty poor reason to do it. And remember your friends could be lieing about it. You know, guy goes out with a girl, his buddies want to hear all about it and he says they did it because he's ashamed to tell them he didn't. The girl does the same thing because her friends want to hear she did it too. So everybody thinks everybody else is doing it when probably none of them are, and never have.
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@rapidfire: thank you for replying and I'm only 16. I'm currently learning about all these but now and i am afraid of all these consequences. My bf and i actually sits down and talks about it and he says that he just wants to experience it and hopefully its with me.
I already told him to wait and he says he will wait until i'm ready. I'm just afraid that I'll loose him or something just because of this.

@enjoynlife: thank you for replying and yes i do understand what you mean but its not just because we're pressured.. We've known each other for about 5 years now we were very close friends until we decided to go out with each other. We feel comfortable and its like we never changed, its just this topic came up and in my head i'm saying "yeah i think if its him i'll be alright" ..I'm jst not sure if it is the right thing to do now.
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Health Ace
6880 posts
I appreciate your situation and it may be right for you. I'd like to explain my feelings as an old married man. There is so much pleasure to be had without actual intercourse that you would have a hard time making a case for intercourse at all. For many people intercourse doesn't come close to providing the sexual pleasure you get from other methods. However intercourse can be unbelievably mentally pleasurable for two people in a committed relationship. The feeling of being one with your partner is like nothing else you can experience. Without that type of relationship, intercourse for a guy, is nothing but masturbating inside a girls body and a very poor substitute for a good hand job.

I bet you thought girls were the ones who needed a relationship to enjoy sex but guys who don't look for a personal relationship before indulging in intercourse have no idea what they are missing.

I hope this helps.
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@enjoynlife: thank you for taking your time to help me with my situation, I really do appreciate it :-)
I know I'm young and I decided to wait and think about it for a while until I'm mentally ready for this step that I'm taking.
Well one last thing that i would wanna ask is that ..do you think that me and my bf's relationship would change dramatically if we do have sex? or if we dont have sex? because honestly i dont want to loose him.
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Health Ace
6880 posts
I'm glad you asked about that because I meant to say something but forgot. It can change a relationship drastically, and not for the better. I'm not a psychologist and I can't give you a professional explanation but I know that many times it changes the way a guy feels toward a girl even if he doesn't want it to. I've had single friends who split right after they "went all the way" because they just didn't feel the same toward their gf and it wasn't because these guys were the type who were just after one thing. I don't know if it works the same way for girls. I've never been able to figure out how girls feel anyway, even my wife. Our brains are wired differently. Men don't see things the same way women do, particularly when it comes to relationships between the sexes and there's nothing we can do about that no matter what the equality advocates want us to believe.

So just think it over carefully --- both of you. It's good that you can discuss it, so it may not turn out bad for you should you decide to do it. I'm not trying to scare you out of it, I just don't want to see you lose a GOOD relationship which I think you have right now.
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Well thank you for your help once more. We will think about it more and I think I'll ask him myself whether he is fully ready towards this step and if ever his feeling for me will change. I appreciate you for taking your time to reply to me so thank you once again. I hope the best for you in your own life and I hope you get through your struggles as well.
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