My Fiance' masturbates when I'm home. it's ruining us.

Kim H. over a year ago

I found out he had been getting up in the middle of the night and taking the laptop downstairs to masturbate to porn. I also know that he will masturbate when I need to make a quick run to the store. Any chance he has, he'll masturbate. I have been very hurt by this, and don't know what to do. I'm feeling like I'm not wanted anymore, especially when he will leave me in bed and go off on his own and jack off. We have already done the porn thing together, I thought it was working for us, seems he got disinterested and started going off on his own. In almost every trash can of the house I'm finding wet paper towels he uses to catch his release. He says he doesn't know why he does this, he says it's just what men do. We have been together 5 years now, I've noticed it started becoming a problem into our 2nd to 3rd year. This is affecting me very much, I have been so hurt. What's going on with these men, why do they do this, instead of just say they want it? They obviously don't need us then.

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Guest over a year ago

Well, men do like to masturbate. I will suggest you "take a hand" in the situation. Practice masturbating him, using extended sessions to bring him to the brink, let him relax, and bring him back again. My wife will masturbate me for hours, always keeping me on the edge of orgasm, almost driving me crazy. We also masturbate together. When he is masturbating, get out of bed, and go masturbate with him. You will possibly find you end up having more sex with him.

As you know from masturbating yourself, there are certain touches and rhythms that work best. You need to find those on your boyfriend.

I would suggest you have sex with him as often as possible. My wife always gives me a blow job every day when I get home, which relieves the greatest need to cum. We then have sex later usually. Try to eliminate his need to cum by keeping him drained.

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misskim0824 over a year ago

Thank you so much for the input. However, I don't get a chance to get up in middle of the night to join him. What he does is, when I do get out of bed, he hears my footsteps, then quickly puts everything away, then lies to me about what he was doing. Usually in the morning when I wake up and if he's still in bed with me, I would play with him to try and get him hard so that I could get some pleasure from him, but because he has already been up earlier messing around with himself, he could not get hard. It's very disappointing. I would love to do it for him, however lately I haven't been given the chance. I really believe he now prefers the porn for his pleasure.

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