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Hello everybody,

I have decided to register to this community because I feel there is nothing else I can do. The problem is not mine but my girlfriend's.

After some months we were together - some years ago - she told me that suffered from bulimia for several years, but then solved the problem. However, I feel that her disorder is only hidden. It's true that she doesn't vomit any longer - as far as I know - but she goes through periods in which she overeats in an incredible way. And all unhealthy food! For instance, she uses 3 tea spoons of sugar for her espresso and never says no to mayonnaise. She eats at least 300 gr of pasta a day and constantly buys chocolate and chips. Her breakfast is pancakes with a lot of nutella.

She eats at least 3 times as much as me, and don't think this is good, also considering that she has problems with her liver and suffers from hypothyroid. She also refuses any kind of physical exercise. Also, she keeps getting weight and has become particularly unattractive. But this is probably the less important element. I feel lost, as I have the impression my girlfriend is seriously sick. Every time I tried to tell her something, even in the sweetest way, I have received only insults. She basically doesn't see any problem in her and her friends/family don't say anything. Sometimes they also say she is in a good shape!!

I feel that, considering that she will never take any action, the only way I can help is talking with someone with the same disorder here or some doctor. I would like to find any possible way to solve her problem but feel that, at some point, with no success I will have to leave her alone to ruin her life.

Thank you in advance for your help!

md

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Maybe, her friends and family don't want to press the issue of her eating and weight in case it triggers another episode of bulimia, and being stressed can set it off alone.

If she was in a critical way due to her bulimia then this may be why everyone is leaving her too it.

Maybe you should try to explain to her family that her being overweight and eating he wrong types of foods is just as damaging to her body as the bulimia was.

Also you say that she has underlying problem and when people get overweight all underlying problems become more prominent and at risk. You are a kind person for sticking with your girlfriend through these difficult times. And i know how it feels when no one wants to listen to you.
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Thanks very much for the post.

I agree on everything you said! I also know I probably should talk with parents but to be frank I am a bit scared. Once my girlfriend told me that if I say anything about her food habits, she would talk to his father who will" take care" of me. From this, I understand that this is a taboo in the family. They are more concerned with her vomiting than other behaviours. At least, they probably don't feel guilty in this way.

I just feel I am as if I were not existing for her. I feel that her only love is food and she doesn't listen to anything else. I feel with really no power (and probablyher family too, though I did not investigated).

Cheers
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Hi! I'm glad to hear that you care for your girlfriend's health when no one else does, at least it seams so. She's probably overeating now because of her bulimia experience. Her family has probably went trough hard time while she was struggling with that serious condition, so I can understand why they feel this way now when the problem is opposite. I'm only afraid that she'll keep doing so until she causes some serious problem, but there's no need for that. You can try to convince her to start eating healthier and exercising together. Maybe she'll say yes to that. Girls love things like picnics, dancing classes. This may work. Good luck.
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Thanks for replying. I tried everything in these years...really everything! I do not have any power on her and this makes me really sad.

I am worried that I will get married with her, have a son and after some years she starts having very serious problems (hearth, liver, depression, ictus as she eats tons of sault).
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