My husband IS generally sick/ill with something most of the time?

Lol, here I am outside of a Starbucks and it’s 5:00 a.m. cause I couldn’t take it anymore -same story -I don’t want to me like my two aunts who stayed with their husbands and then they got sick mentally and physically!

I can’t believe I found this. I came looking to find out “why my husband is always sick”. It’s always something for the past 4 years. I can’t handle doing it all any more. And we lost our house because of it. I’m having such a hard time.

I’m so glad I’m not alone

Wow. I’m not the only one. Exact same thing. Every other day it’s something different. A headache, tired, muscles sore, cough, chest pain, back hurts, pinched nerve.... I should have been keeping a log over all these years. Anyways. It makes me so envious of people in relationships with spouses that are both willing to enjoy and engage in life.

OMG I am not alone. This has been going on since I met him. He is in love with television, food and pot. We have no children and all he wants to do is stay indoors. My poor dog barks for attention. All she has is me and I feel like I am living out a death sentence. He is absolutely the laziest person I have ever seen and the sloppiest. There is nothing I can do for him yet I'm doing everything. I had better take out a life insurance policy as he does nothing but have more problems.

I feel for everyone here I’m a father of 5 girls and a new born son 3 months old…….my wife does exactly what you people have described…..I work a lot and get called out on emergency job in middle of the night a couple times a week every time I go out she “gets sick” and I must hurry home from the work emergency…..idk what to do I will never give up on her because this is who I am a family man

This is an old post, but I hope OP got away from this guy, and didn't feel bad about it. This pattern of behavior will never stop until one of you is dead, and it will probably be YOU. I wasted much of my life with a man like this. It takes every last bit of your physical and mental energy to keep him going. If you give until you've got nothing left, that will be just barely enough to keep him alive. If you pray hard and love him enough, the cancer scans will eventually be clear, or that knee replacement will help him regain his mobility. And do you know what happens after that?

A few days later, he will wake up with a completely new ailment. And you pour all your emotional and financial resources into helping him recover from Parkinson's or COPD, or whatever the new thing is, and it never ends. Unless you leave. Imagine what you could accomplish if you poured all that energy and focus into helping YOURSELF, and creating positivity for people who will actually appreciate it. Get out while you can, and don't look back. People who say you are selfish or should honor your wedding vows, have no idea what you are dealing with, and how your husband has failed YOU.These people are giving you advice that could literally KILL you. Women are easily manipulated into sacrificing themselves for people who don't deserve it. Codependency is not a virtue.

Folks, thank you for confirming that I am not crazy! I have been with my partner for 7 years and from the start he has always expressed that he is suffering from something. He too suffers from diagnosed anxiety and depression. He also suffers from IBS and PTSD as a result of abuse that he endured at the hands of his father, who not only was abusive to him but also his mother and siblings. It seems to have weighed more heavily on him. I think he has always had some level of mental illness in this regard. Last week it was his shoulder that was bothering him because after he went bowling, he came back, and the next day was complaining about his shoulder. Knowing how he manifests things when he returned from bowling, I suggested that he take some Tylenol to get Infront of a complaint I knew would be coming. This week it is his knee, and he went and purchased a knee brace. He is constantly purchasing devices that he does not use like heat lamps, when he purchased the heat lamp, he only used it once because he complained that the heat was too hot for his skin. He is 64 soon to be 65 in July. I feel for him, but at the same time I approach illness in a different way, which causes arguments between us. As I explained, I am not discounting him, but if I have a minor ache or pain, as we all do from time to time, I get over it and refuse to let it weigh me down unless it is some that becomes persistent or chronic. Often you see it in his face which has a miserable sad expression most of the time. He does not seem to realize it but he has pushed most of his family away from him. They can only bare to be around him for brief periods. I struggle as to whether we will stay together. At one time we talked about marriage, but I just can't do it because I am not sure that he and I will stay together. I don't want to be selfish, but I also don't want to be dragged into his neurosis, which will cause more stress for me. We are in couples counseling, however the problems that we were looking to address or still present. I have dealt with serious illness with my first husband. He was truly ill as he developed leukemia and died in one year. I have seen serious illness and experienced it firsthand. My current partner is different as I believe he is dealing with illness anxiety disorder and a strong sense of victimization. He is always a victim and attributes all of his problems to relationships that he has had in the past. What I would say is take care of yourself by finding hobbies or things that you are interested in and actively pursue them. Unfortunately, you will not be able to change a person who has lived all their lives this way.

my friend of 35 years complains daily of a bad back, or a painfrul knee or cant stand without falling. He has seen his GP. I am disabled and need his basic help but he continues to complain daily. What to do please?

I am disabled and housebound and my friend sees me daily with some items of food But is constantly moaning about his back, or his knee or falls. Says he cant stand without holding on to something He has been to his GP. I wrote him note to try to explain all this as I know there is basically a problem with his knee or leg but GP didnt refer for xrays. What do I do?

Been with this for over 40 plus years. Invested and you have the nerve to say something like that. You are as horrible as the men we are talking about. Alot of women have vested time, MONEY and investments that losing them would leave us without all we had worked for. We did not marry for this and it was not like this until... And then this is what becomes. Yeah, manipulative is understatement. But go to divorce court and see what you end up with....Nothing

I know this thread is old but it was slightly comforting (and also sad) to realize that I'm not the only one going through this! My husband is barely 30 and already acts like he's 65! When we first got together 6 years ago, I almost thought he was too skinny/fit for me and now he's completely let himself go and doesn't seem to care about his health at all. He has a heart condition but doesn't take care of himself and doesn't go to the doctor...EVER. He "comforts" me by telling me that he has a life insurance policy set up for me and our daughter. It's actually annoying because I'd rather he'd care about being there for us. I feel like a single mom most of the time because he just doesn't have energy or motivation to do anything. On the weekends my daughter just watches him nap all day.

I'm at my wit's end. I'm in my early 30s! I'm in my prime and am too young to be dealing with someone who acts like they just doesn't care if they live or die. I don't know what to do.

There are so many respondents who have this issue. I had no idea. I too have a husband who is sick in almost every way imaginable: open heart, prereferral artery disease, type 2 diabetes, gall bladder disease and removal, constipation, sciatica, toe removals, a food disorder with extreme weight loss, and the list goes on and on. While these are serious illnesses and he is suffering, he could certainly help himself by agreeing to therapy, eating properly, trying to do some form of simple exercise, forming a schedule, gaining a hobby, sleeping in a bed instead of in a recliner and finding a purpose in life other than being sick. A daily routine is a synopsis of what is the worst pain of the day where I am required to examine his body for possible marks, lumps, bruises, or harm. He tries to require that I watch him shower. His only past time is smoking weed. He says weed is his saving grace. Most of what is wrong with him is the result of past pain pill drug abuse and his body is paying the price now. He is a recovering addict but I can't really say recovered since he is most often high because of daily weed consumption. I have tried and tried to help him and prod him and nag him in the right direction. There is no changing him. I have decided to take back some sort of life for myself and spend most weekends enjoying my sister's company. We are not divorced but the narcistic tendencies he displays have many twists and turns. He used to be a quite charming guy but not anymore - now he is actually quite cruel and controlling. We moved to be near family who will help ME with his extensive needs and doctor appointments - now he won't allow family near him and even hates them. He says I spend too much time with my sister and spend little time with him. When we do spend time together - it is purely based on what he requires and needs and doesn't understand why we don't connect anymore. All this tells me there is some deep rooted need in him for the sort of attention that illness brings. He was actually disappointed he did not have a diagnosis of cancer recently. All of the illnesses absolve him of any sort of responsibility around the household. A simple dish is too much for him to put in the dishwasher. He no longer works. He cries all the time. He blames me for not being more loving. He says things like, if we would have sex, he would be happier. I am at a point where I simply cannot give any more emotionally or physically.

Omg thank you for this thread!

I feel so selfish for being uncompassionate after years of being compassionate and shouldering the grumpy mood and emotional labour. I so wish I'd be with someone who wakes up happy and is active, I'm only in my mid 30s and my partner has constant headaches, migraines, colds in winter, hay fever in the summer.
I dread growing old together with this man is it only has gotten worse over the years!

It is just not normal and taking a real toll on me, I'm fantasizing how it would be for me to not have this dark cloud around me all the time.

I detest him not looking after himself and staying up until 2 in the morning playing videogames and then having a sh*t mood all day. Not sorting out his diet or exercise.

I feel bad when I do something fun without him and I feel bad when I stay with him and hope for having a great day together for a change. It seems there is no winning!

It's just so sad.