My husband IS generally sick/ill with something most of the time?

My husband to a T!!! When I try to point out he needs help he says I'm pissing him off or hurting his feelings I cannot physically or mentally deal with this much longer I am taking care of five of our children plus him and when I'm sick which is for real sick he tells me oh just cook us a simple dinner tonight .. Are you kidding me I want to scream !!! Today I gave him til tomorrow morning to either be back to health or go see a dr . He has lost his job due to his being sick and in pain and we rely on him making money for this family . He also always says to me "I know you think I'm a feker" . Some of our older kids do this same stuff to get out of school this is not good at all.I feel everyone's pain but how do I end this ?? Is there a end ?? God I hope so !!

I'm feeling very torn on what to do I know I love him but my husband is sick every week he's always going to the doctor or hospital and they find nothing wrong and yet again he's at the hospital right now I feel like I'm at the point where I don't even want to know what they told him there and wondering if he just wants bad news? He has anxiety allergies and sinus problems and like many others said he's definitely like my 3rd child we've been married 6 years and the moaning and groaning hasn't stopped I do feel like he isn't living his like we're in our 20s. He's angry that I don't ask him what's wrong anymore and stay up with him at night. I can't tell my family this because even they think he's sick all the time or calling into work. I really needed to vent and happy that I'm not alone.

My husband about 3 years ago got faint in a walmart & we ended up going to the hospital! He received emergency care, and wires, and everything because he was convinced he was having a heart attack or a stroke because he felt faint and shakey. He told me right there I feel like I'm dying. NOTHING WAS WRONG. Then he starts having these episodes where he is nauseous and dizzy before big family events. Even if we have to drive 30 minutes to get groceries & run errands this man didn't feel well before we had to go he was laid up on the couch playing sudoku trying to calm down and not feel ill. He went to the doctor who prescribed him an anti-depressant. This made our sex life end. The doctor prescribed a new one, and a testosterone supplement. He was fine, then my mother came to visit for a weekend. He spent the ENTIRE visit in bed hiding. Saying he must have a stomach virus. When they left he came out and said he couldn't sleep one bit for the past 2 nights. He felt worn out & exhausted and his head wouldn't stop spinning. Then my stepkids come out for summer holidays he spends all his time hiding in his office and refuses to do anything fun and makes it out to be one big chore. I want to go out on roadtrips, and plan family events or anything and I can't include him in any of it or he flips out. Nauseous, dizzy, unwell. He refuses to let me drive because if he's driving he is less dizzy he says. Finally we got a referral to a specialist who checked his ears, & mouth etc who told him he was fine. We hit some money trouble, so I kick and scream for him to get a job. He has a severe anxiety attack and makes up a million excuses on why he can't return phone calls or go out further job hunting because he is not well. A year later we get another referral to a therapist who says he is fine, but your BP is high. So he's quit smoking and has undergone a diet change. Then she increased his anti-depressant. Otherwise he is JUST FINE. He's NEVER well but is fine. Still no job. There is so much I want to do with our house, but I do not wish to work myself to the bone, it would be so much easier and faster for us both to work and yet he is never well. I don't believe it, I think he is selfish but I think he honest believes he is sick. If he really wants to do something he's fine, but if its something I want and he doesn't like it suddenly he nauseous, anxious, and dizzy. I worked so hard last month (Small business owner) and my reward was a 40 minute drive to an Ihop, its all I wanted, a brunch date with him. A simple date! We get there, the carlot is packed, and he's like do we really have to wait & he is completely flipped out anxious. I told him .. no just take me home. I burst into tears because I have had about enough. This next week Its going to be tough because I hate being the bad guy, but he wants as much stuff as I do then he has to get a job.

Wow! I had NO IDEA other wives struggled like I did. I rarely tell anyone but my husband is driving me nuts! In the last year he has had four jobs and quit or lost them all because of missing so much work or other workers being an ass to him. I am so annoyed! I work full time to provide for him and his son and he cannot even hold a job?! Yet he is always well enough to be on the couch playing some video game and watching a movie every night when I get home. I am exhausted! I get up with him every day when he has a job and get his lunch, coffee, etc and three outta four days he says "babe I think I am sick. Feels like I cannot breathe and I am dizzy" or he has some other sickness. Yet doctors NEVER find what ails him. Go figure! He was home for four months last year with a back problem and couldn't ever make it to physical therapy yet he was able to game, watch a movie, or work on his car! I am so mad....I want to have a partner I can count on not another person I have to take care of. I even offered him the role of house husband if he would just cook, vacuum, clean the cat box, etc. Just help lessen my burden. But that was even too much and when we talked he made stupid cutesy faces and said "baby I am just not good at this. But I love you...." PUKE!!!!! When did men become mice? And why the fig would they think we women would enjoy getting them a beer and serving dinner and doing laundry and....and....and.....just so they could cuddle us at night? REALLY?!  Sadly I love my hypocondriac hubby and I may need to leave or accept him....I mean are those my two choices right? If I keep trying to talk to him he gets mad...and always ends it with "so just leave if I make you so unhappy...just go!" Should I?

I doubt I would get any responses as this post is months old. I Google husband always sick and stumbled upon this post. My husband is 33 years old and suffers from CHF, asthma, sleep apnea, insomnia and is overweight. We have a 5 year old son and as if he isn't a handful, I have to take care of a 33 year old baby at that. Its mentally, physically and emotionally draining. I guess its because I have grown used to the notion of having a man support me in that cliché sort of way, where he is your rock and you feel safe and secure etc. I love him tremendously but I honestly dont know how to handle it. And on top of it, his family alll seems to suffer from illness. So I find myself taking care of them from time to time as well. I am 25 years old. As much as I love my husband and his family I did not sign up to be a doctor! Ok rant over

Very similar situation here. My husband of 10-years is turning 40 this year and I really can't see how he is going to make it to 50. I have always known he had hypochondria tendencies but over the past year it has really escalated. He has muscle pain, twitching and other issues, but numerous Doctors have found nothing wrong. He keeps trying new tests and scans and they find nothing. Meanwhile, he has been home on disability laying on the couch all day every day for the past month. He groans and moans constantly. I am going out of my head. I work full time and we have 3 young kids. After months of doctor visits and tests, I am starting to think this is really more mental than physical. I just don't know.

Oh wow, I feel your pain. My husband has been on disability for the past 9 years. He has legitimate health problems....spondylolitheses (back problem), fibromyalgia, bipolar, but somehow manages to go on 10 mile hikes and 30 mile bike rides. Emotionally abused as a child, he seems to crave sympathy and attention. He very rarely attends church with me, and never feels well enough to fix dinner, in fact is always laying in bed when I get home from work, and is in too much pain to sit at the table and eat a meal. I work full time and honestly prefer to be at work.

If you lived with such a person you wouldn't say what you are saying. This husband is manipulatI've and it's because of people like you who will buy his story, he continues to be sick.

Glad to find this thread. Will, my man of 11 years was diagnosed with lyme many years back but only after having it more than a year. It is chronic and he is always ill. He's on heavy opiates and most of his days are just being on the couch, watching tv. He also has type 1 diabetes and is insulin resistant. He's unable to work and depends on ssdi. I work and am looking for a second job but our life is so mundane, unable to plan anything or go anywhere. There is no cure for him and I'm just burnt out. Why is there not more hope for lyme victims?

Wow, I'm so glad to see I'm not alone. My husband is 41 years old and we've been married for almost 4 years. I'm a nurse, so I'm not easily fooled with illnesses. When we first met he was suffering from a herniated cervical disc and had several epidural injections so obviously complaining of pain was understandable for awhile. A few months after the neck issues were resolved he complained of severe knee pain all the time, for months. I was so tired of hearing it I told him to see a doctor, and MRI was ordered and it was negative. We spent $700 on a test for nothing, but he stopped complaining about his knee as much, apparently the MRI cured him. After the knee incident I started getting skeptical. As time went on every week, it was back pain or debilitating diarrhea nearly every damn day! You name it, every week theres a new ailment thats so debilitating that he feels if he gets more sleep he'll be better. Theses illnesses are so bad that he will lay in bed for an entire day and night while I take care of the kids but they never are bad enough to call in sick for work or schedule a doctors appointment. I work fulltime 17hr shifts on saturday and sunday so I can stay home M-F with our toddler while he works M-F. We also have a teenager son, who's mine from a previous relationship. I work tough hours, and I'm generally running on little or no sleep. Yet I rarely complain. I suck it up. Maybe it's how I was raised, I was never babied when I was sick as a kid and when you spend half your life as a single mom, there are no sick days. I don't need to explain to to most of you, you know how hard being a working mom can be I'm sure. I'm to the point of exhaustion and every other day now, he's got another issue that requires me to pick up more slack. He thinks I'm the most uncompassionate woman, but my God I'm tired of pretending to be concerned about fake symptoms that never make any sense! Symptoms that miracuously go away if he lays in bed for half the day. He never misses work, so I feel for those women who are fiancially affected by their husbands whimpy woes. I'm sure if I could lay in bed for 12 hours once a week, I would feel good too! However I can't because he's always playing sick! I'm worried this is going to negatively affect our marriage. Not only is that a concern but I fear if he cries wolf so much, one day it will be something serious and I'll disregard it. How about that, if I become a widow because I didn't recognize a major illness due to his constant "Woe is me" routine. I may as well give up being a nurse at that point! Heaven forbid if his mother is here visiting while I'm at work, I feel he takes advantage her big time. He'll lay in bed all day pretending to be sick and gets her all concerned and worried to the point she's buying meds and stocking our cabinents with chicken noodle soup and handling the kids and chores all for nothing. I hate it for her because she's old and doing everything is very hard on her. Part of me wonders if she is the reason for this, like shes the enabler.

Sorry I know I'm late I wish that there could be a follow up! How is he doing now? I'm so sorry about your predicament. That sounds frustrating if he really is faking- though I would hope that he isn't and he is just a too stubborn to go to a doctor. If you end up reading this, I'd love to hear a follow up!

Wow. I'm so releived that I'm not alone! My husband just got married in May and had a baby last December. I'm getting so sick of him being "sick" all the freaking time!! He never wants to leave the house, dropped all his friends, blames me for everything (like him subbing his toe - some way or how he will link it back to it being my fault.) He used to be ambitious and cook and clean and do his own laundry. We both are working our asses off - him working two jobs and Me getting the kids (I have a 10 year old step son as well) ready, fed, and out the door on my own and I drive 1 1/2 each way to work because of the bus and sitter drop off. Any who, he always has a headache, stomach ache, his foot hurts, his eyes hurt, if I'm sick he's having the same sickness but 10x's worse......I tell him to go to the doctor and he throws it in my face he works two jobs. Dude I leave the house an hour after you do for work and don't get home until you do from your second job and still figure out ways to get the kids to their appointments and me to my own. I have no compassion for him and it literally pisses me off. He will crawl around the house and moan, go into the bathroom and "puke" always when I'm conviently walking by, anytime I walk into a room he's either holding his head with his eyes closed or sitting with a blanket over his head. He's just so freaking dramatic about everything!! He's worse than I was when I went into labor....and he just turned 30. I have to pretty much beg, kick, and scream to get him to leave the house to one of my friends cookouts or whatever. I wouldn't mind going to his friends but he doesn't talk to any of them anymore. I dunno I'm just so unattracted to the man he's becoming. He's a great dad just so freaking dramatic about his "sickness" and if he is sick then why won't he go to s doctor. Or hospital?!? We have a 8 month old baby and he's to "sick" to be a parent and help me out? Yet he feels fine enough to to play on his damn phone and iPad all the time playing a stupid game. Sorry I just wrote a book but in just so frustrated!!

My boyfriend of 4 years he had heart issue and I see him 2 week he changing could it be fear to be away from doctors,? He calls them for everything

I hear that there are a lot of malingering husbands here...sounds like mine but after 4 years he was diagnosed with MS which explained a litany of "weird" symptoms

My husband , is the same I just wished one day I could have some good news I live every single day with his illnesses, back shoulder elbow sore throat fever aches back pain stomach bloating nasal congestion constipation headaches rashes oh dear gosh I could fill up a page on illnesses but I won't do that , will it ever change he tells me I'm cold hearted and have no sympathy but this has been going on for 10 years the only thing be is capable of doing is playing online games and pushing buttons on the remote control to watch t.v. from 12 to 22 and 24 hours straight then sleep I need to know if this will ever end or is this what I will live with for the rest of my life ..please someone tell me he is 49 years old , and can never quit telling me of his bathroom problems daily hourly everyday I want to be sympathetic to him but I am starting to be very annoyed of his daily ailments I work do all the chores take care of our yard work and all the sporting events with our last child at home I'm am about to break and go down myself if I can't get this to pass