After reading, exploring, and seeing what other hell people have been though on here I decided to show you my "hell"
I was one who never got into hardcore drugs, which is what I called it. I smoked my green and liked my vodka when I went out to party. I was always offered Coke and never said yes to it. This was when I live in California. I was born and raised in L.A. county. And through my 20's in Cali this is all I did. Get Drunk!
In 2010 my gorgeous GF and I decided to get the hell out of Cali and move to Arizona. By the Colorado River. We loved it. Still do. No traffic. No high taxes, fees, etc...sh*t I can carry a gun 24/7 and not worry about it.
What I found out here in Az was pills. I dabled here and there before but nothing to much. Maybe a norco and a beer and I was good. The job I took was the same job I did in California. Except at this place in Az, pills were a plenty. I was introduced to Roxi's. Green 15mg and the Blues 30mg. Started off with a few here and there. I liked it. I loved it. You guys know what I mean when I say this when its your first time. I would only do them at work to be pumped up. I was a salesman btw. Didnt touch em on my day off. Didnt crave them.
But months go on. Some days you feel iffy and those days the dope man is always on deck to get em. I got em. A lot of em. I didnt pop em, shoot em. I snorted em. After half a year it became more and more. I ended up not liking the effect. Why? Cause it wasnt there anymore. The effect I was searching for was "normal" and I paid the penny for it.
After a year of being attached I found out about Suboxone. Wow. What a wonder drug. No I didnt see a Sub Doc. I saw the Sub dope man. $10 a strip or pill and I would fill up on em, thinking I was getting over my addiction and back where I was with a happy attitude. After a while the Sub withdrawal I didnt think would happen, did. And bad. Wow. Horrible. Worse than any Roxi I did. I started reading how Subs are so much more painful to get off because if I am right, they get into your muscle and bones. I could see the proof. My arms looked wasted. It looked nasty.
May I remind you I am 6 feet tall and was 190-200 pounds before hitting the pills. Up until my sub trials I was down to 135 pounds. People said I looked great. I had abs, looked ripped. It was nice. This is also what wanted me to keep doing them because I thought it was the easiest way to lose weight.....Well its the wrong way. After the research on Subs I went back to Roxi's cause I didnt want to deal with the Subs painful and long withdrawals. This is where the binger begins.
I stayed on Roxi's all the time. All the time. Anywhere I had to go, I went to the bathroom. Did a line, and we went to do whatever. You see, if I didnt do it, I was lathargic, restless. Un-mobile. But I told myself atleast I am getting the subs out and the withdrawals wont be that bad....Well sh*t, they still suck.
My spending:
I have a decent job. I was in sales for a car dealer for years. Made ok money. In sales cash was a bit limited though and my habit wasnt that bad. I would probably get a atleast 20 Roxi 30 mgs a week or less and break em in half for lines of 15 mgs.
Then somehow....I was promoted to finance. A manager spot. A job that can bring 6 figure income a year. Guess what? The pills went up my nose faster and faster. Everyday. I would blow my nose and mucus would be blue or green. Nasty right. I would hack sh*t up for 15 minutes just so I could get a clear path in my nostil to drip it down. I would pull in $8k - $10,000 a month gross. I have had this income for nearly 9 months up to now. You know how much I have saved? $0. My bills were paid after my pills were paid. I was unloading $1500 to $2000 a month on Roxis. Dealers were my best friends. Of course they were. My b-day was this month. I spend it in Vegas every year. This year was sh*t. I have never had a worse time in Sin City than this past month. And it was because of my habit. So when I came back from LV, I said f**k this, I am done. For good. My last 30 line was Feb. 8. It has been 10 days and life has comeback to me. I am not the penis I was. The no patience, being anal, screaming at my employees to toughen up and sell some cars. They love me now. I like them to. They are great people and I couldnt see it because of the habit. I have probably dropped $20,000 on pills the past 2 years. I wish that was in my account. I wish I wish. And it can be. If I stop. I did it as painless as possible too.
Detox:
I have had 2 Sub stips in my car for about 6 months. Un opened and not touched because of how scared I was of them from what I have heard from other people on it for a long time.
Its day 10, I have 1 un open sub strip, and the other I opened has half of it left and it has been a week since I last took any. I am not taking a single piece anymore. I did small enough amounts to get through the 4-5 days of Roxi withdrawal. I stopped. Everyday has been better. I still have bad insomnia but the night sweats are gone. The sh**s were tamed with the Thomas recipe, which I know well. All in all my detox story can be long. I write forever because I want all to know that this is sh*t. Keep away. I am feeling good. I tell myself everyday, just one more day, and another, then onto a month and 3 and a year. Ill be back, I feel I am coming back. I am me again, and I never should have tooken it for granted. I am happy. f**k you Blue. I hate you, and you are the only thing I hate.
If you want more details on my story or my detox way. let me know. Green, xanax, melotinon, etc...there are ways to ease and I can help.
I am here for anyone.
SourDeez
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