healthnfitnessguy wrote:
BuddhaChild wrote:
I took a break after that. For about 6 months. It gave me a lot of time to think about things, and to find the real reason why this was happening. I realized I was just a a bad place in my life, and getting high was contributing to my problems and making me feel crummy. I was the reason for these anxiety attacks, not the marijuana itself. I recently started smoking again, but in moderation. I’m taking baby-steps to make sure something like that will never happen again. I really hope that I’ll be able to smoke socially with other people, but that probably wont happen until I’m older, wiser, and am more comfortable with myself.
Hey buddhachild, this was pretty enlightening. It's of course true that you don't want to trip out while you have demons to face down because marijuana will do you no favors in that department. What do you mean by moderation though? Are you smoking less than you used to?
I only smoke a few times a month now, as opposed to everyday like I used to.
That would make a big difference I think! I know that when you smoke marijuana that it releases a great deal of serotonin, and if you don't have that much in your system then it could lead to greater anxiety. Do you think that might have been a contributing factor?
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On another note, while I was high, I gave away my weed and forgot 6 times that I didn't have it. I also didn't remember my phone was in my pocket until 2 hours later when I was coming down.
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I think because it was a long time since I last smoked, that the one hit I took (such an EZ-Bake) mixed with my anxiety disorder made me feel like the world was spinning and it actually hurt to look at repetitive things (ie. brick walls). I was flipping out so much and my normal reaction if something is strange to me is to analyze so there I was trying to figure out what would make the hurt go away and I was trying to explain this to my friends but apparently I just sounded like a high nut-case.
I was shaking like nuts, heart racing, all the normal anxiety symptoms but the pot was making it worse. Another thing that just occurred to me was the location, it was very heat so I was naturally scared. Once I grasped that the reaction was pretty much inevitable, I was just plain stoned. It goes away, you just need to wait it out.
PS. had the best gum EVER while on that high; why did everything taste so good?
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let me just explain to you... how high i was... was seriously physically not healthy and the fact that i hadnt slept and hadnt eaten didnt help... the cotton mouth only slightly went away... the world that i was in was not this world... everything i looked at seemed somewhat not real.. i was lookin at my friend but i couldnt actually see him. my heart was beating so fast, i couldnt feel my arms and legs or my body in general... i started to get very very scared and started to pray to god because i TRULY thought i was going to die... it helped to look around the street and read signs and store names and i tried to talk to myself to try to get me to snap out of it... my friend turned on loud rock music... which i love... but im not sure it was the best for the state i was in.. everything i heard was like magnified 10 times more... i heard literally every note in the songs... i could pin point every instrument and every beat and every note... i was in extreme pain throughout this whole process... i felt like the life was literally being sucked out of me... then i looked over to my friend and i think i saw him praying for me too... which made me really sad... and being how high i was this feeling of sad i thought would also kill me... i just wanted someone to take my life so this pain and feeling would go away... everything i looked at made me dizzy cause everything was moving and pulsating. my arms and legs were too heavy to even move...
my friend bought me food from Moe's and i was sooo hungry like i saw literally starving but i couldnt even move my arm to eat it... i fell asleep in his car for about 15 mins?? and i woke up gasping... a little less high than i was... but still pretty screwed up... when he was driving i felt like we werent moving but everything else around us was which started to scare me... leaning my head against the car door letting the air blow in my face felt really good and it was somewhat waking me up... i hung out in my friends car for another hour or so.. he let me sleep which i desperately needed. he woke me up and told me he had let me sleep... he asked me if i could walk and i said no... the point where i was then was over the point of being f*****g dead and it had dubbed down to just being really high again like how i was for the first 30 seconds after that smoke... so i was high as sh*t but not the feeling of my soul being sucked out of my body.... my heart was still beating fast tho... so he got out of his car first and came over to my side... to like help me out of the car... every little tiny movement i made seemed like i was dancing or moving too much and it made me want to throw up so i tried moving really slowly... when i stood up i almost fell... my legs were still very heavy and i couldnt balance myself cause everything was still moving. i finally was able to balance and felt like i needed to throw up but it never came... then we started walking to sit down somewhere.. my friend kept telling me that i seriously looked like i was dead.. i had like black circles around my eyes and i think my lips were red/purple so ya i looked and felt like i was dead.... im pretty sure his high was gone... and i think he was really scared for me.. i felt a little better after walking but i wanted more than anything for that high to go away...
from when i smoked to the point of walking around.. about 3 hours had passed.. that was 3 hours of feeling like i was going to truly die... it was probably the worst experience of my entire life. the place i was and the state i was in... i would never wish that upon someone... even my worst enemy... god help anyone who ever has or possibly will go through what i did... when i got home.. it was about 3pm. i crashed and went to sleep. i slept til 8pm and i woke up to my phone ringing. when i woke up I WAS STILL KINDA HIGH.. at fckn 8pm... when i smoked at like 11:30 or so... i talked on the phone for a few minutes then went back to bed. i woke up again at 3am... i was shivering uncontrollably and my heart was still beating.. but i wasnt high anymore... i still felt like c**p so i went backk to bed and woke up at 630am to get ready for class. i went to the bathroom to weigh myself like i do every morning by habit. and i had lost 4 pounds since the morning before... i was shocked. my body was still heavy but once i started walking around i was ok again... i was sooo terrified i dont think i have ever been that scared in my entire life...
i looked online hoping to find something relating to what happened to me so i wasnt the only one and thank god i found this... i feel so much better now like im nott he only one. so ya i guess i had a panic attack?? but the worst possible one? cause iw as running on no sleep or food/water. i dont care what anyone says... it is possible to smoke TOOO MUCHHH weed... i dont ever wana smoke again... im not saying i wont... but as of right now... i never wana touch the stuff again.. and i asked a few people i know and some say they went through what i did too just not as bad... everyone says it just wasnt as bad as mine.. which sucks that i had to experience the worst of it... im just glad im alive..
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So I thought it was only one bad trip but it seems that everytime I do sutable amount I have the same feelings, I just wanna know what the problem is cause I buy weed all the time and I dont wanna phase this plant outta my life. So I dont think I'm continously buying bad strains. but I also heard that being in a bad frame of mind might set it off which makes sense. about 4 months ago my girlfriend (stated in the story above) left me and I have been having bad trips. I guess you dont always know what your mind has going subconciously which is the part of the mind drugs unlock.
A bunch of times being high with her I was ok even if the trips started out bad, We watched funny movies and had copious amounts of sex (I know its personal but its something good to do to enjoy the high) Also despite the fact I dont really like techno music I like listening to Daft punk when I'm high or having a bad trip. Just relaxes me.
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