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How Important is it... 1) That your spouse, SO, etc. takes interest in your running, training, exercising...whatever it may be? 2) Is it to you that you that they incorporate it in their lives? Must there be this common RUNNING ground? Please discuss.

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common skating ground is required. it's that skating is such an integral part of my life, even if not training.

the last 5 serious relationships the ladies all skated.
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Based on her attitude, my wife has no opinion on my running. I have continually invited her to come with me and walk with the others in my club but to no avail.

She has, in my estimation, grudgingly accepted it.

Conclusion: I will continue to do what I am doing. I only hope my kids get "inspired" enough by my example to start their own programs.
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It isn't that important as long as she isn't objecting to running or against it. Sandy has become more supportive as time has gone on and after the marathon has even started a couch to 5k program.
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OK. I'm going to elaborate a little bit more to give you a little background... So, I meet up with a good friend of mine while here and have an interesting conversation over dinner. It was nice to sit down, eat good food, be waited on, catch up on old times, try to get to know one another after many, many years... We still share a common interest in music... We still have friends that we both know that are the same... We still deeply love and obsess over FSU, THAT'S A GIVEN... We still can talk about our families and tell the greatest stories of the past... We still get along pretty well and have the same way of thinking... We still live under the same sign and just "get" the Gemini sides to each other... HOWEVER...HOWEVER... RUNNING was the UNCOMMON GROUND! The words directly from this friend's mouth... "I think all of what you do is great. However, I cannot do things like that anymore and I cannot relate. It bothers me and I don't know if I CAN or WANT to hear about it all of the time..." I sat there stunned. First, I'm in my own world sometimes and just thought all people thought like me in that running and staying fit is the greatest thing on earth. Second, I couldn't believe that someone I had cared so much for all these years COULD NOT have this common interest as me. COULD NOT. Third and finally...I had to sit there and really think if that person could ever totally relate to me...share and be supportive. It's not just the 26.2 I would want someone to "get", but the daily ins/outs of what it takes to get there. Really, there's not going to be a day where I don't talk about or have a need to share about what I physically do. I will always run or walk or do something to stay fit. I'll have miles to put in...have aches to have rubbed down...days where it all came together...days where it totally sucked...I'll be talking about it. I've been running for 20 years and am not going to give it up now. FOR ME...There has to be a common RUNNING ground. For now there has to. I walked away from this date very perplexed and learned quite a lot about myself. Running is a big part of my life. I'm going to attract most to people who can relate to my kind of thinking. I never thought I'd have running, people who run...exercise...a determining factor in who I'd be attracted to and want to see.
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Good question! Yeah, interest is good but support is a must. My family is getting better at it. DH will help with my runs by riding the bike with me to carry water if I don't have someone else. Which BTW one of my partners at the gym thinks is mean that I make him do this. Yeah, seroiusly mean. :? She don't exercise though, so I'll let her live. One thing I have noticed though...even though they seem very uninterested most of the time, they will brag about me to their friends. You know, like "yeah that'ts my mom/wife running down the street there, she runs like 10 miles a day!" Not true of course!
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I have to go back to these words for a minute... "I think all of what you do is great. However, I cannot do things like that anymore and I cannot relate. It bothers me and I don't know if I CAN or WANT to hear about it all of the time..." So after this is said, all that went through my mind is..."DEAL BREAKER, DEAL BREAKER, DEAL BREAKER. CAN NEVER SERIOUSLY DATE YOU, CAN NEVER SERIOUSLY DATE YOU, CAN NEVER SERIOUSLY DATE YOU". I was fixed on these words for the rest of the dinner and could not get over it. Stuff like this just does not roll off my back.
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i dont know why, but as stated above; i tend to have serious relationships with women who i work out with. my wife (3 years) and i work out together, she doesnt run long distances with me....she does like to run stadiums (which kills me cause i am way heavier then her...lol). she is ambivalent about my running, but i enjoy the down time to be by myself.

Kel
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The part that bothers me is "it bothers me" what?? :?
I would want my SO to at least have respect for what I do, whatever it is I do, running or underwater basketweaving, whatever I work at and have goals I pursue and enjoy, as I would hope I would at least be respectful, if not a more active part in those equivalent things in his life. At least for the fact that it is so important to me, I would hope he would support me in my goals. Maybe that does mean not talking about them AS much and retaining running friends to release on....or what do I know, maybe this unrealistic expectation is why I'm still single... :umno:
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My x hated my running and once told me I should grow up and quit pretending to be an athlete.

Current gf is very supportive and may soon start joining me on my long runs on a bike.
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My best friend really supports me in my running; she's looked after my kids while Rex and I were racing; tells me she's proud of me, and if I say I have to go run or how far I've run she always says, "Wow, that's great!"
I don't go into detail with her and it would bore me to do so. But she's as supportive as I need her to be, and it doesn't take much for her to be so.

I knew a woman whose every conversation had to be about her running. Even though I'm a runner, I found it extremely tedious to listen to. Her whole life revolved around it. My life doesn't revolve around my own running, much less hers. So I couldn't stand to listen to it, and consequently, I couldn't stand to listen to her.

I think your friend was a bit out of line, unless you resemble the second woman I've described more than you think.
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I know pfff...WTF?? It bothered me quite a lot too. I sat there and kept replaying the words in my head...
CAN'T (then goes thru my head next)
WON'T (the same)
just do not settle right with me. I have not worked this hard for so many years to have it slighted or not shared. It's such a part of me and you might as well cut off my right arm if that has to go from being shared as well.
As of late...all i attract to are people who "get it". Really. Someone starts talking about a run they have...40 mile bike rides...and I'm like "TAKE ME!" I'll be right behind you.
My how a few words can blow my opinion on someone...AND FAST!
BTW. Am I a RUNNING SNOB then? :P
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I think in regards to this specific guy and the comments that he made, it's not really about you wanting someone to be supporting/involved in your running...it is more about him basically saying he wants absolutely nothing to do with it...and that the fact that you are involved with it...bothers him!

If it were a case where the guy didn't run or wasn't into it...and was basically neutral, I think that would be a different story. That you could work with. But I think that this guy chose some VERY strong words and that would concern me not just about running, but about him in general. Why would it bother him so much to hear about your running? Would there be other things that he couldn't compromise on??

Just a thought....
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You'd probably have better luck with someone from the UF.
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It sounds like he was saying there were some deep issues there.

Did you ask him what he meant?

Had there been a serious illness or injury in his past? Was there a traumatic race that derailed him and burst his confidence?


If it's a deal breaker, walk away.

Don't waste another minute.

Best relationships (according to research) are those in which the partners are headed in the same direction and share the same general interests. (Doesn't mean they both need to participate in them, just be interested)
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