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My name is jay I'm from the uk, I started smoking in my teens but stopped when I was 21 for a couple of years, I always smoked the high grade (amnesia, cheese, kush) and had hypnotherapy, this worked but only for a while it soon wears off, I then started experimenting with the class A (cocaine) this controlled my life for a couple of years until my father killed himself, since I've managed to get myself clean from that awful gear but have replaced it with cannabis again, my dependency has grown stronger to the point I don't see pound notes,I see weed tokens with no concept as to how much I spend on it (around 40 pound a day) absolutely obsessed. But like some of the above mentioned feel like I have to have round me at certain times especially at night or after a meal, but anyways f**k it I'm done with it and decided although it's the hardest method im now on day 3 of cold turkey, the rows, fights and lack of sleep is a killer but if I can get over finding my beloved dad hanging from the ceiling and beat alcoholism and coke addiction then I can do anything, I was in prison six months ago now Iam on a building site working with a baby on the way, if this isn't enough of an incentive then or an example of it can be done then who knows, I find that after quitting for a while the resistance wears off and the real test is when payday comes
Blessed. Jay
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I do wish to support him if possible, I don't make an issue of it as we don't live together , it is his decision is to give up and have a life however it is proving difficult.....an interesting journey to be on and observe.
I hope that you maintain your resolve what ever life brings you, you are an inspiration. I myself in the past have had an addiction and needed to leave a long term relationship to quit the addiction as my partner and I would 'do the dance' and things didn't change, it was my decision to leave and has been the most difficult ever, to leave someone you love over an addiction we both had. He finally sought help 4 years later but I had moved on after waiting for 3 years.
May peace, self love, love, health and kindness surround you from near or a far :)
:)
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I have just been reading your post....yes, many of us have suffered in our lives and have comforted ourselves. This amazing journey is about to begin for you, that little child is your sign, a new life emerging, a new role for you and your partner. You both need to remind each other that it is a rough journey especially the first week, have things in place like prepare meals together, watch a movie together,go for a walk together as 'special time' and of course 'with no judgement' on how the other person feels. This is journey I believe you will need some time out from each other (take the pressure off) even if it is sitting in a corner of the room reading quietly (communicate this to your partner in a kind way).
I had an addiction too, you are not alone! Most important is both of you need to learn to 'love yourself', I was never taught self love in fact it was seen as being vain, I spent a year telling myself ' I love me' very uninspiring at first and very difficult, then I changed my tactic, said it too myself the way I would say it too my child, an innocent love with no judgement. One day I woke up, looked at my ageing face in the mirror and I saw a little self love there, the side of my mouth was slightly upturned and smiling back at me, from that day my 'self love' has grown and spilled over to my child, my boyfriend and my well being.
Much love....a friend from afar
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This could not have summed up my experiences more perfectly. The last three weekends I vowed to break the cycle and was unsuccessful. The cycle I reference is the smoking cycle you also experience. I'll smoke half a gram before work, lunch break, a bigger one on the way home from work and then sneak out for some silly reason I lie to my wife about which I do even knowing she fully knows I'm lying every night and smoke one after our daughter goes to bed. I have rationalized in my head the reason I lie even though I know she knows is I'm quite conscious of how stupid what I'm doing is yet and just plain embarrassed as my wife is an avid non smoker and very anti weed (opposites attract lol). Anywhom so I've been smoking on average 2 grams a day everyday for 13 years that's a half ounce a week ( I am no millionaire so this has taken it's toll financially) and some weekends between my friend and I on a road trip we have smoked as much as 5-6 grams in a 24 hr cycle. I already know I'm in for some pain with eating as iam almost incapable of moving and suffer extreme stomach pain unless I smoke a joint post dinner. That overwhelming sense of fear and desperation I have when the bag is close to the end has been my biggest hurdle to even get to the point where I can consider quitting. I have read some amazing contributions provided by others on this forum and my two cents for others would be focus a lot of energy and planning towards avoiding this trap. Everybody has different coping mechanisms so whahever u think is best for you go with that. I would need to reUp before the bag was done , th only acceptable time for me to not have weed was on the car ride to buying weed and even then I would make sure I have a joint for the trip and then when I grab id roll up one for the trip home.. (Usually a 30-40 min drive each way). This is the first time I've ever replied to an online thread but this is the first Saturday in 13 years I haven't had weed. I'm terrified both of the known and the unknown that I'm about to face but I know in my heart of hearts I love my wife and daughter more then anything on this planet and it's about time I show this with my actions not my words and stop jeopardizing my marriage in the pursuit of the next high. One question..... I'm far from a healthy eater, any suggestions on the dietary end what I could eat to minimize my stomach problems that I'm surely bound to encounter ? I have no allergies I'm just picky as hell with food which is a problem for a different. Thread lol
Cheers
Nice knowing my situation isn't unique, doesn't make it easier but certainly. Knowing others have succeeded under similar circumstances gives me that added shot of confidence
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