Feel free to judge; what you're about to read will consist of things I'm pretty ashamed of.
As my screen name suggests, I'm 25. As the title suggests, I've recently begun having trouble with erections. I think I know why, but I would like your opinions. The next few paragraphs might seem off topic but it all ties in.
For the past nine months I have been in a horrific slump. I went through a bad breakup last summer, I dropped out of Grad school due to lack of funds and despite completing college and firing off hundreds of applications, the only job I have gotten is at a retail store making $8 per hour, where my manager is 5 years younger than me with less experience and is only in the position he's in because he is the owner's son's best friend. Worse, said privileged best friend is fully aware of his position and likes to bully his employees to assert his dominance faux alpha male style.
To top it off, because of my meager salary and lack of hours, I live at home with my parents. I wake up every day feeling like I shouldn't walk out of my house without a bag over my head. Trust me, if I could find a dump that I only had to pay $200 for, I would rather live there than in my childhood bedroom.
Anyway, all this stress bears down on me 24/7. I feel my hair thinning and I'm always depressed. I have to suppress it at work, but at home I'm just miserable. I have no friends here in the sticks where my parents live in a cabin in the woods; all my friends are still in college or have found great amazing jobs and have moved on with their lives. I am literally the least successful person I know. Even a coworker of mine who didn't even get a GED makes 20% more than I do. And obviously I have no girlfriend or anything even close to one. If I wanted to go out somewhere with a girl, there would be nowhere to go in this Podunk area. Even if I just wanted to watch movies on the couch with her, I can't because I loser who lives with my parents, including a mother who is so intrusive and clingy that I literally cannot so much as leave the room without her wanting to know what I'm doing.In order to cope with my pain I sometimes masturbate. I'm not proud of it, but it's the truth. A little sexual release is the only relief I get. I've lost a lot of weight lately, about 25 lbs, half due to massive overhaul of my diet and half due to stress. So, for a time, my sex drive was higher and I was relieving myself more often. And then...
I took up online dating in a desperate attempt to meet women. There I proceeded to grind away the final shreds of my self esteem as I sent out dozens of messages with little success. Eventually I did hook up with a girl from OKCupid (no, that was not my intention, but remember how desperate I was), and that's where it began.
At the moment of truth, the one I had been pining for for so long, I couldn't get erect. She was understanding, but it really threw me. In the weeks following I felt even more depressed, so I went back to my usual routine, but now something was different.
I never had erection trouble while masturbating, but since that failed hookup, I haven't been able to maintain an erection. I've released several times in the past couple weeks trying to get to the point where it comes back, but every time I've done it I've ejaculated prematurely. I keep trying, hoping that my strong erections will come back, but every time they fall short.
What is happening to me? I want to believe it's the stress and depression and that my shame at hooking up with a questionable girl via the Internet has only added to those feelings, but I'm terrified! I'm only 25 and I'm convinced that women are getting more and more shallow with each passing year. If I already can't get hard at 25, the prime of my life, how will I ever manage to keep a woman satisfied through a relationship, much less through a marriage someday? Please forgive the details. Any advice the community might have for me would be much appreciated. Thank you. -ATG25
Maybe you're overthinking it? Try to just enjoy the feeling and don't think about if you get an erection or not.
I hope this helps. Sometimes if I can't get myself to orgasm (I'm a female), I don't really think about it and just relish the feeling masturbating brings me and that tends to help. I know orgasming and getting an erection aren't quite the same thing, but they do go hand-in-hand.