Kids... don't read this. This is directed to an older audience and I don't want to scar you for life, ha ha.
Okay, so I should first point out that I'm diagnosed with very severe anxiety problems, so I naturally over-obsess about specific worries, and my virginity's a colossal one with me being a very serious "coitus only after marriage" type person. So, this question may sound pretty ludicrous... but it's wracking my brain and I'm desperate for answers. This post contains multiple occasions so I apologize that it may be a long read, but please, I really would appreciate some advice.
So I've been with the same, phenomenal boyfriend for nearly two years now, and as you can probably guess, we've engaged in foreplay (just to clarify that we're not foolish kids, I'm about 18 and he's almost 20). This eventually included dry-humping, which I had no problem with at first, but soon began to question what it meant regarding my state of sexual purity. This was some time back, but there was one period of time in which we'd do this with only underwear on, but due to my anxiety, I brought it up that I was getting nervous and he had no problem with complying and backing away from going that far. At one point my boundaries got to where we seriously went no further than kissing, but I eventually realized it was a pretty ludicrous limit with our amount of love for each other. So anyway, we're currently back to where we go no further than dry-humping, but something hit me today about it after my darling left only about a half hour ago: I'm questioning my virginity, primarily due to my uncertainty with the whole penetration part.
I'll use tonight as an example. We were getting pretty passionate, and he ended up with only his boxers on and me in only my pajama pants, both which are pretty thin. There was dry-humping, and naturally we were both wet. Eventually he became very hard, and the humping escalated to being extremely vigorous and sharp. This is where my uncertainty surfaces: We both had thin clothing on. We all know boxers are loose for comfort, as are my pajama pants, and I certainly felt some sort of "in and out." My apologies that this'll sound weird, but eh, this is a health site and I suppose I should explain things with utmost precision... but anyway, back to the "in and out" business, when fixing my pants (we all have those pj's with the threads that neeeever keeps them adjusted at the hip, ha ha), I noticed I had to pull them down a bit to get them slightly out of my crotch. And I mean... that's where the vagina is. I know where virginity ends: When the penis penetrates the vagina. And isn't that kinda what happened...? Clothes were there, but isn't it still, essentially, the same? It's bothering me, not knowing and all...
Thank you so much for reading, and I really, really appreciate any advice you may have to offer.
Technically, virginity has to do with whether the hymen is still intact or has been broken. You can have shallow penetration and still not break the hymen. If there was no pain involved and no indication of even a small amount of bleeding, then chances are your hymen was not broken and you still have your virginity intact.