Hello Worriedguy01,
Goodness, you have anxiety big time. I see you have tried nautral supplements (valerian root) which can help. You might consider taking GABA supplements. GABA is the major inhibitory neurotransmitter in the brain. Some people say it works great and its cheap and apparently no side effects tha I know of. It calms you down. I'm not sure whether you have genetic complications and/or learned bad behavior. Nevertheless, some of it appears to be learned behavior from what little I can gather from what you've written in your post. This cals for behavioral modication and that generally calls for therapy. You seem adament about not going to therapy. I think you need to reconsider. There are certain things that are triggering your anxiety and a therapists can identify those for you. Then you need to avoid those triggers. Please reconsider seeing a therapist.