Recognizing Teen Violence

It seems with startling frequency there is a school shooting or other violent act committed by a teen. If you’re a parent, you may wonder how a teen’s behavior escalates into committing a criminal act. Teen violence can be a complex issue. There are lots of reasons teenagers become violent, and the solution often has to be multifaceted.

Reasons Teens Become Violent

Determining what causes teen violence is not as easy as pointing to a certain video game or violent movies. While gun control is a hot topic, teens also commit violent acts without guns in a large percentage of the cases.

Violence in teens may occur in several forms, such as an assault on a stranger, fighting among peers, bullying and dating violence. Although the cause of teen violence may not be one specific factor, there are some theories as to why some young people become so upset they lash out in a violent manner.  

One theory is that teenagers may model the behavior they see. While playing violent video games is most likely not going to cause a young person to become aggressive, it could be a contributing factor if a child is already unstable. It’s more likely that if the behavior is modeled it’s from the teen’s real life and not from TV or video games. For instance, children who were abused are more likely to become violent themselves.

There are also several other reasons some teens may become violent. For example, teens may lash out due to frustration caused by emotional problems, learning delays and problems at school or home. Some kids who were victims of bullying may have pent up anger, which causes them to have a violent outburst.

Dating Violence; What Parents Should Know  

When you think of domestic violence, you may think of two adult partners. Unfortunately, teen dating violence has also become an issue. Similar to adult relationships, teens who use violence in a relationship do so to gain control over their partner.

It’s often difficult for teen victims of dating violence to seek help. The relationship is often the teen’s first experience with a romantic relationship. In addition, teens are dating younger than in past generations, which may mean they are even less emotionally equipped to deal with relationship conflicts.

According to data from the Bureau of Justice, about 30 percent of high school girls report being in a dating relationship that became abusive. Abusive behavior in teen relationships may include emotional, sexual or physical abusive. In many cases, teens who are being hurt, do not tell anyone. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, over 30 percent of teens who are in an abusive dating relationship don’t tell someone.

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Parents may not want to accept that their child could be abusive to their boyfriend/girlfriend, but it’s important to recognize signs.  For example, if you notice your child showing controlling behavior towards their partner, such as telling them who they can talk to or what they can wear, it’s a red flag.

If you think your teen may be abusive, it’s important to deal with the situation upfront. Talk with your teen and explain how possessive or controlling behavior is wrong. Model appropriate behavior towards your partner and hold your child accountable for their actions. Don’t hesitate to get professional help.

Stopping Teen Violence

Teen violence can have a ripple effect. A teen who becomes a victim of violent behavior may become aggressive themselves. Additionally, teens who are abused may be more likely to become involved in abusive relationships in the future. But the cycle of teen violence can be broken.

Recognizing Signs of Teen Violence

Whether it involves bullying, dating violence or fighting, recognizing signs your teen has a tendency towards violence is essential to get them the help they need. Ignoring the problem or thinking your teenager will grow out of their behavior is never the solution. 

Even if you do not see your teen physically becoming violent, there are several signs he/she may have a problem. For example, being cruel to animals, showing a lack of empathy and having troubling controlling emotions are all signs your teen may need help.

If your teen has started to isolate themselves, use drugs or has become obsessed with guns or other weapons, it may also indicate a problem that could lead to violent behavior. Some teens also have a change in personality and declining school performance. 

Even when parents recognize signs their teen may have a tendency towards violent behavior; it can be difficult to accept. No parent wants to think their teen is capable of doing something violent. But it’s important to keep in mind, a teen who is violent is not necessarily a bad person. A large number of people who commit violent acts are not psychopaths. They obviously have problems controlling anger, but in many cases, treatment including counseling, cognitive behavior therapy and medication can help. 

Teen Violence Prevention

Although treatment is available for teens who demonstrate violent behavior, prevention is best. Parents and teachers should work together to recognize young people who are at risk for becoming violent and also those who are at risk of becoming victims.

One way to spot problems early is to stay involved in your teen’s life. Nothing can replace parental involvement. Make sure you know your teenager’s friends and dating partners. Keep lines of communication open, even if it is challenging at times. Spend time with your teen doing activities you both enjoy. 

Monitor what your child watches on TV and what type of video games they play. Consider limiting both activities to only an hour or two a day. Encourage participation in activities, such as sports, music and community programs. 

Talk to your teen about ways to deal with disagreements without getting in fights. Discuss bullying and appropriate dating behavior. Let your teen know he/she can come to you with any type of problem.

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If you think your child is at risk for becoming violent or becoming a victim, there are teen violence prevention programs in various communities. Talk to a counselor at your child’s school or your pediatrician to locate programs.   

Don’t hesitate to get help if your child appears to have a mental health or substance abuse problem. Although having a mental health diagnosis or a drug problem does not mean a teen will become violent, in some cases, it could be a contributing factor.