Why You Should De-Stress At The Dinner Table

If you were to paint a picture of dinnertime in your home, what would you see?

For some diners, dinner consists of carryout or a hastily microwaved frozen dinner eaten on a tray or on the lap while surfing the Internet or watching TV. For many other diners, dinner is interrupted by phone calls, emails, Facebook, or the coming and going of family members to and from evening activities.

And in many households, the kitchen at dinnertime resembles a fast food restaurant, with family members doing a grab-and-go to wolf down a few calories before the next stop on their busy schedules.

How Dinner Makes a Difference

Although the notion of dinner time as a time of gathering, relaxation, and conversation is probably more ideal than real for most families, the proven fact is that dinner makes a difference in the psychological and physiological health of families. Some of the findings of the 1,262 published studies of family dinners presented on MedLine are surprising.

• Researchers at the University of Crete in Greece found that Southern Europeans, who eat more dinnertime family meals than their Northern European counterparts, were less likely to go on diets but more likely to lose weight when they did.
• Publishing their findings in the International Journal of Obesity (London), researchers at Temple University in Philadelphia in the USA found that children who choose their own portion sizes eat more and tend toward obesity, while children who eat with their families eat mother-monitored portion sizes and tend to weigh less.
• Children who do not eat most of their meals at home almost never choose the recommended five servings of fruits and vegetables per day that help prevent early-onset high blood pressure and diabetes.
• Researchers at the Queens College of the City University of New York tell us that grabbing a beverage, especially a diet soda, instead of sitting down and eating a meal with family increases the eating period into the evening and night. People who snack instead of eating dinner actually consume more calories in snacks that they would at a single meal.
• Multiple studies have found that having family meals together every day is associated with lower rates of criminal convictions, drug addiction, underage drinking, and smoking.

In the United States, researchers at the School of Public Health at the University of Minnesota tell us, it is lower-income families that are the least likely to eat together. Just 38% of lower-income families eat dinner together five or more times per week, while higher-income families eat together far more often. Families with daughters but not sons, Asian-American families, and families with children in middle school were also especially likely to disperse at dinner time, eating together an average of just 3.6 times per week.

Eating dinner as a family may not lift a family out of poverty or make juggling soccer mom duties any easier, but it may help parents and children alike face their challenges with more resilience. But how can families find a way to eat dinner together more often?

How To Encourage Your Family To Eat Together

Finding time to eat dinner together is easier said than done, but scientists offer us some unexpected insights into dinnertime strategies that work.

1. Serve vegetables for dinner.

Americans eat vegetables at only 23% of their meals, if French fries and ketchup are not counted as vegetables. Surprisingly, researchers have found, serving vegetables at home increases both the heroic (appreciation of the cook) and hedonic (appreciation of the food) appeal of eating for both children and adults.

Serving vegetables is associated with cooks who care, and vegetables make meat seem tastier. Children may not want to eat spinach and broccoli served by their mothers, but they will usually appreciate their mothers for serving them.

2. Do as many dinner-related tasks as possible before dinnertime.

Even if the food is delicious, the table settings are attractive, and the dining room is clean and comfortable, if the cook is frenzied, the family will be, too. The cook for the nighttime meal, whether female or male, parent or child, sets the tone for dinner gathering. It is hard for the family to relax if the cook is uptight.

One way to take pressure off the need to prepare dinner quickly is to do as many tasks as possible ahead of time. Wash, dry, peel, and cut vegetables in batches once or twice a week. Put marinades on meat the night before. Cook roasts that can be turned into several different meals. If your family complains about your serving the same protein every night, take comfort in the fact that mealtime monotony results in restrained calorie consumption. Your children and partner will be inclined to take only enough food to satisfy their actual hunger rather than stuffing themselves with excess calories.

3. Don't serve just what everyone wants, or what the most powerful member of the family wants.

Counterintuitively, families that are served a few foods that are "good for them" but not necessarily their favorites have greater appreciation for the cook - within limits.  Everyone at the table should be served at least one food he or she likes, but putting out at least one new food item or healthy food item expands the taste palate and increases attention on favorite food items. A cook who puts out a variety of dishes, some the family asks for and some they don't, in the long run is appreciated for caring about the family's health. Just be warned that the cook who serves only healthy food probably will not retain his or her position indefinitely.

4. If you can't achieve your desired quantity of family meals, set your sights on the quality of family meals.

Researchers at the University of Minnesota have found that both the number of family meals per week and the quality of family meals, measured in terms of the amount of social interaction at the meal, make a difference in children's health, especially with regard to obesity. If you can't get your family together more than once or twice a week, make sure there is a lot of interaction at the dinner table when you can.

5. Control dinner conversation.

The dinner table is not the time for nagging, scolding, or complaining. Save negative comments and disciplinary measures for another time. Use the dinner table as place for making positive comments about what you appreciate in your spouse or partner and the children in your family. Reward good manners and good conduct with immediate praise.