2 weeks after a medical abortion and feeling lost

Two weeks ago I had a medical abortion. It wasn't an easy decision by any means and the father was a friend I had been seeing but wasn't in a relationship with. I was just under 9 weeks when I had it done, mainly because I didn't realise until 6 weeks that I was pregnant and then I wasn't sure if the abortion was what I wanted, needless to say it was what he really wanted and had me convinced that at twenty and still in uni there was no way I could feasibly have this baby and as much as it hurt to admit it I knew he was right.

I couldn't tell my parents or my friends as I felt ashamed and knew they would judge and to be honest I couldn't handle the pressure of that on top of everything else. My friend, promised he would be there for me after it but ultimately isnt, I understand he has his own life to live but he is partly responsible too. He keeps telling me it will take time but he has only seen me once and very rarely gets in touch to see how I am. 

I feel and these emotions and I dont know if its normal or not? I've been having slight to moderate bleeding, that comes and goes but the pain and cramping in my stomach is always there and is crippling. I've been to the doctors who assure me that everything seems normal, yet I don't feel it.

Not a day has passed since the abortion that I haven't cried, I get angry and upset over the tiniest little thing and over the past few days i've been having nightmares in which I hear babies crying. I just feel lost, like I dont know who I am any more and feel as though i'm isolating myself and pushing those around me away because they don't understand. My friend is adamant that we can't tell anyone, we both are afraid of our families reactions, but he' not there for me either and I feel like im dealing with this alone.

The guilt and physical/emotional pain is crippling me. I just don't know what to do.