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After having an abortion I feel like a bad person inside. My fiance wasn't very supportive to me and i sort of resent him for that. He never said i had to have an abortion but i knew he didnt and wasnt ready for a child. He always said if you want to have this kid go ahead but i dont think we are ready, which was not very comforting. He wouldnt let me vent or talk to him about it and when i would start to cry uncontrollably he would say can you please stop! and then go on to say i cant deal with this im goign to go. I almost got to the point that i was going to tell my mom and he would not let me and got very angry. I felt as though i had no one to talk to because i couldnt even talk to my own partner about it because he couldnt "deal" with it. I love him to death but i feel as though he was acting childish and selfish like he was the only one suffering through it. Now i feel anger inside because he is like untouched by it and i still think about what ive done frequently and i get scared that one day i wont be able to have a child. I feel like our relationship isnt completely worthy becuase we cant talk to eachother about the abortion and how we feel. This happened 8 months ago and i dont know whether to just try to move on or bring it up because i know he'll get angry. Confused...

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I am so sorry that you're going through this. This is obviously excruciating.

I suggest you get in contact with an abortion support group and/or a psychologist. You can probably get in contact with both if you ask your local Planned Parenthood.

You may also want to reevaluate your relationship with your fiance. If he hasn't been supporting you and you've been depressed because of it, you may want to distance yourself from him for at least a little while. That's only a suggestion.
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Well I had an abortion yesterday it didn't hit me that bad until today ifeel so lonely and guilty neva knew it would cut me this deep. I really wish ithought this over.because rite now ireally miss my unborn's presense its bringing tears to my face I'm really sorry mommy's truly sorry baby I love you.
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I dont know if you will see this message. but i truly hurt for the pain you are going through. praying that you find healing within your grief, as that is what you are/were experiencing.
i dont know if you have sought help, but Rachel's Vineyard is a very helpful organisation. You are worthy of healing xx
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Hi Anon,
i am so sorry that you went through this!
i hope you have sought professional help and marriage counselling through this?
i would like to point out that you are NOT a bad person. you were put in a difficult situation, you had no-one else to lean on or provide guidance, you did the only thing you felt you could to rectify the situation.

i do feel you both need to talk together about this, however i feel it would be more beneficial if you sought help for yourself to learn coping strategies within speaking with your fiance about the abortion and also to possibly have a neutral mediator to be there to assist in keeping the discussion at a safe level where you both get to express how you feel and to be listened to.

Rachel's vineyard is an excellent organisation that may be able to assist you in your grief for your lost child and to help move past your feelings of guilt. praying you receive peace and healing xx
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