I'm 13 years old.I have tried marijuana and I won't smoke it ever again.It has ruined my life.I have smoked it 1 month ago and it has brought me severe symptoms.
When I smoked weed I was first feeling de-attached from my body and then I started laughing.The laughing started turning to depression.I was feeling tired and depressed.So depressed that I wanted to kill myself.I thought of myself as a being that doesn't deserve to live.

Since then I got the following symptoms:
Feelings of depersonalization.
Depression
I get easily excited from any good thing happening to me
I feel no emotion(I can laugh or cry but I can't feel the emotion)
I feel like I'm in this zone of neutrality/depression

And now a big one:
Sometimes I get this fulfilling emotion,Its like I can feel every feeling I should feel,Like every good feeling I ever had got compressed into these few moments,I think I should be feeling like this all the time,I felt like that before I smoked weed but now I'm depressed and can't feel it anymore :-( :-( :-(


Its not as bad as it was a month ago.Now I feel better but I still want to return to my happy self.
Will this ever go away?