Im not addicted to this drug but this drug has ruiened my life and I have several friend that have told me some pretty scarey stories about the drug.....I sleep drove and recieved a DUI and now I have to go to trial and I could have killed myself or someone else I do'n't remmeber this till I got arrested and then it took some time for me to come around.
I have taken Ambien for over 10 yrs. Cannot fall asleep or nap without it, but it only keeps me asleep for a couple hours. Never feel rested. Feel like my memory is being wiped out. Can't stop taking it, dread the thought of not sleeping. Don't know what to do.
I am in a profession where no sleep can mean death to others. I am a 911 dispatcher. For 12 years I worked 12 hour shifts in darkest of nights just until dawn. I heard murders, rapes, stabbings, shootings and other violence over the phone. Death gurgles and the haunting child rattles signified the futility of my skills. The sounds haunted me. Sleep was extinct in my life. The doctor prescribed me Ambien. It was like a golden gate into slumber. No horrible dreams; just sleep. I was so, so wrong.
On Ambien I walked downtown in pajamas and fluffy pink slippers. Under it's influence I drove my car and didn't remember doing so. I just know when I woke up the side was damaged. I called my job on it. I left totally nonsensical messages on facebook.
I took up to 15 a day on my days off. I was haunted by what I dreamed and relived from my job. The Ambien made me forget. My sheriff called me in. He knew something was off.
How do you tell your only source of income that you are on prescription sleep meds to combat what your job does to you?
Don't get me wrong. I was an iron maiden at work. Solid. I could handle 400 calls a shift by myself and still smoke my paperwork every morning. I was the best. My guys counted on me. My officers requested me. All this until...I wasn't fine anymore.
The stigma of antidepressants and sleep meds in law enforcement is career suicide. Supervisors and agencies do not want an employee that has to take those meds carrying a weapon or giving instructions over the phone to save someone's life. After all...you are considered a liability while on it.
So how does someone live like this? You depend on the meds because the public depends on you. However, you can never tell anyone how you feel or what you are going through because you would almost certainly lose your job. For 15 years I have been conducting this perfect ballet of silence and suffering. To this day, the show goes on.
I have been taking ambien for 12 years, sometimes as much as 310mg. in a night. I have a hundred stories for you
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KellyB: I was a lot like your wife. Up to 25-35 pills a day (10 mg each). It took 20 at least at night to knock me out after years of addiction. My kids want nothing more to do with me either. This is a very hard drug to stay off once you are clean, especially if you need it to sleep. It ruined my life and took 8 rehabs before I finally quit. My attitude each time I got clean was that now I was fixed and could go back onto controlled use for sleep. No such thing as controlled use. Ambien can be easy to quit - no withdrawal -- if you are at the 3-5 pills a night stage. At the 6-8 pill stage, or more, your withdrawal will be a b***h -- short -- 24-36 hours, but intense -- I always ended up crawling the walls. 30 day rehabs are just a detox - your wife needs a 90 day rehab if you can afford it. It takes at least 90 days off to give her a good chance of staying clean. It took a year for my sleep patterns to get back to "acceptable", they are never "good". It took about a year for my brain to get back to normal.You just have to want to finally get off. Good luck.