I was reading a book on Sexual Dysfunction problems and found something that might help people here. It talked about the LEVELS of sexual desire and erection responses. How hard you get may be a mental state meeting a physical state - they BOTH have to go together usually.
What it said was that some erection troubles are mental (we know that) and here's some easy ways to spot these: Mental issues are usually NOT a problem when you're alone and masturbating or fantasizing. You CAN get a good and lasting erection when you're on your own. So there, your physical stuff is ok.
BUT if you start fooling around with your partner, get excited (fine) and then lose your erection when it finally gets close to penetration sex - this indicates some subtle issue about losing control - or what they call "intimacy". Kinda like baseball - where it only happens after 3rd base and you're JUST ABOUT to get inside.
A stronger mental issue is maybe when you cannot even start an erection if the other person is around and close to you. You might get turned on going to dinner with them, but anywhere you are physically getting close - you can't get hard. You feel attracted to them, but no physical response when you start playing together - even when clothed.
The deepest mental blockage is when you don't feel ANY sexual stimulation - even when alone or with fantasy/pornography. It might be physical - often is - but if it's a mental issue, your mind is REALLY working to keep you from having sexual things that you're not comfortable with - even by yourself. You maybe even avoid sexy things - movies, clothes, talking about it. Sex makes you uncomfortable - it shouldn't, within reason. You CAN learn to be ok with it... wouldn't that be nice?!
Talking to a GOOD counselor can show you how these apply. Your friends and advisores may not know this stuff - but it's easy for an experienced sexual counselor. Just like fixing a car - they can show you the ideas to fix it too! Go for it!
What it said was that some erection troubles are mental (we know that) and here's some easy ways to spot these: Mental issues are usually NOT a problem when you're alone and masturbating or fantasizing. You CAN get a good and lasting erection when you're on your own. So there, your physical stuff is ok.
BUT if you start fooling around with your partner, get excited (fine) and then lose your erection when it finally gets close to penetration sex - this indicates some subtle issue about losing control - or what they call "intimacy". Kinda like baseball - where it only happens after 3rd base and you're JUST ABOUT to get inside.
A stronger mental issue is maybe when you cannot even start an erection if the other person is around and close to you. You might get turned on going to dinner with them, but anywhere you are physically getting close - you can't get hard. You feel attracted to them, but no physical response when you start playing together - even when clothed.
The deepest mental blockage is when you don't feel ANY sexual stimulation - even when alone or with fantasy/pornography. It might be physical - often is - but if it's a mental issue, your mind is REALLY working to keep you from having sexual things that you're not comfortable with - even by yourself. You maybe even avoid sexy things - movies, clothes, talking about it. Sex makes you uncomfortable - it shouldn't, within reason. You CAN learn to be ok with it... wouldn't that be nice?!
Talking to a GOOD counselor can show you how these apply. Your friends and advisores may not know this stuff - but it's easy for an experienced sexual counselor. Just like fixing a car - they can show you the ideas to fix it too! Go for it!