hi im sam. Im 22yrs old.my problem is that my bf didnt hav an inter course with me yet. It has been 3 yearss since he is my boy friend. We hav done oral sex but no inter course. He doesn't want me to lose my virginity before our marriage. He has damn control over himself and im really fed up. Talking about this to him didnt give anything worth. Is there any way that he loses his control. I really long for it. Please help me out.
I'm sure you don't want to hear this but my question is, why would you want to continue having him for a boyfriend if he is like that? He certainly is not showing much concern for you or your feelings and he appears to exercising a severe amount of control over you. Do you think he will treat you any better if you eventually get married?
Hi,
njoylife is right when he says that chances are that he will not change once you're married and it will be million times more difficult to change anything about your life when you accept this additional obligation. So, have you two actually talked about how you feel, or when are things (maybe) going to be any different? I mean, you say you're fed up with the whole situation - do you really have to tolerate it without any explanation?
njoylife is right when he says that chances are that he will not change once you're married and it will be million times more difficult to change anything about your life when you accept this additional obligation. So, have you two actually talked about how you feel, or when are things (maybe) going to be any different? I mean, you say you're fed up with the whole situation - do you really have to tolerate it without any explanation?
hi. Im sam here. And im very much privileged to the advices given by you friends. The questions u asked me is something i asked to myself. But th thing is that.. He is afraid that he is spoiling me if atall it becomes impossible to marry me. Also he thinks in such case ill hate him for that in future. Whats so sad is that, wyl we were in bed, many a times he lost his control and was about to hav an inter course and suddenly he back from it and just shouts 'giv me control'. I hate masturbating and i havent done it yet. Im this age and i long to taste sex with him. Is there any way i can achieve that atleast once?
Well, I think that you two are going to have to talk first about the fact that it's 21.st century and no one is spoiling anyone - it's a perfectly natural thing if two people are in love. I mean, you two even have plans to spend the rest of your lives together. So, my advice is - no trick or something like that. I believe that if his love is strong enough he should be able to understand how are you feeling. And I think that after that talk he might realize that he might lose you over this, so maybe he will start to see things differently. If you waited this long, take just a little more time to talk all this with him. If it doesn't work out - well, he than obviously is not the man you could spend the rest of your life with. I know it sounds horrible, but, you have to think about yourself in all of this. Please, let me know if there is any change.
thanks a lot friend. Ive talked to him. And it seems he understood my problem. I think more than getting convinced he is afraid that he will lose me bcs he feels that ill start goin out with someone else. Anywez to kno th impact ill hav to wait till next week when we r likely to meet. Ill surely let u kno wdr im happy then. But one thing still makes me sad. Am i forcing out sex from him? Will he enjoy it in such case?
Sonam,
From what you are explaining, it sounds more like a religious belief to keep you pure until marriage. I know it is somewhat of an old world tradition to stick to but some people still stick to it. No offense but this day in age, it is surprising that you at 22 have not lost your virginity yet. I could suggest drugging him but I might get banned from this forum, you might go to jail, or both. I think the best suggestion would be to talk to him and explain your needs and that you can not take care of them yourself. I don't think breaking up with him because of this is the answer either as you have built up a 3 year relationship so far.
I hope my ramblings have helped in some way, then again you can ignore me all together and listen to nikols sound advice.
Holmestrix
From what you are explaining, it sounds more like a religious belief to keep you pure until marriage. I know it is somewhat of an old world tradition to stick to but some people still stick to it. No offense but this day in age, it is surprising that you at 22 have not lost your virginity yet. I could suggest drugging him but I might get banned from this forum, you might go to jail, or both. I think the best suggestion would be to talk to him and explain your needs and that you can not take care of them yourself. I don't think breaking up with him because of this is the answer either as you have built up a 3 year relationship so far.
I hope my ramblings have helped in some way, then again you can ignore me all together and listen to nikols sound advice.
Holmestrix
im really thankful to both of u nikols and newbie. Anywez newbie, i rly likd ur idea. (Drugging) i had once told this to my boy friend long befor itself.:-D What u told is ryt. By talking to him i found out that he too is craving for sex with me. Also i had never thought of leaving him just for this reason. After all sex is not everything that one is living for. I just gav him the feeling that he ll lose me bcs of that. Sounds funny? But i must say it was nikols timely msg that helpd me out, bcs instead of simply talking to him like sex maniac i showed him nikols mail, and he really understood hw grav th situation is. Ie. Not having sex even in our fourth year.
Well now :-D I turned out to be like a fairy godmother :-) But no, really, I figured you two are not together for such a long time just because - you both are in love, no matter what are the obstacles (at least this one can be solved easily :-) and him thinking that that after you have sex with him will "push" you to some forsaken life is really, like rapidfire10000 said, some belief more for the dark ages, simply because if you wanted sex just for the sex - like that would be such a problem - you could do that with anyone and don't care at all. But that's not what either of you want. Now, you know I wish you the best and I hope that you two will finally are completely happy - just remember to let me know how things went (not the "juicy" details, of course)
You guys sound insane. Just because the guy wants to wait until marriage doesn't mean he cares any less about you, is trying to control you or doesn't love you. Props to him for sticking to his beliefs and having that control over himself. Some people want to save sex for marriage because it's such an intimate thing, 21st century or not there are still LOTS of people in this world that believe in saving themselves for marriage, you should respect that or leave him and stop trying to pressure him into it.
Doxen, I went insane only a few years ago so hang on then.
All we are really doing is trying to give sound theories about why there is no sex to be had. I agree with the fact that there is a small percentage of people that want to stay pure or the bride to be pure before marriage. In that case it can also follow along the lines of sex once a year or only to have children. Sex, for the most part is a great thing. Maybe it will further their relationship before marriage. Maybe not.
Holmestrix
All we are really doing is trying to give sound theories about why there is no sex to be had. I agree with the fact that there is a small percentage of people that want to stay pure or the bride to be pure before marriage. In that case it can also follow along the lines of sex once a year or only to have children. Sex, for the most part is a great thing. Maybe it will further their relationship before marriage. Maybe not.
Holmestrix