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I'm a 24 yr old woman. After much self neglect in October of '08 my PCP finally told me to seek help for my mental status. [Many failed depression medications later]. It was then I was diagnosed with Bipolar II w/Pshychotic Tendencies...which my Therapist had to tell me about the Psychotic Tendencies since my Psychiatrist didn't.
Now I've been doing Therapy weekly, it seems like a waste of time. My Psychiatrist put me on Lithium and Abilify, but I can't remember to take my pills so I've stopped. So thats a bust. I know I'm not helping myself at all, but I just don't see the chance for improvement.
I've been this way since I was a little girl. I've experienced long term hallucinations...two very specific people I don't know pop up and there's nothing I can do about it. I feel like a nutcase for just saying it. I've been a cutter for years, but it's been casual. I never have a reason for it, still don't. But I do it. I like it. Hurts, but I like it. I'm just getting so frustrated trying to figure out what's wrong with me.
I don't think it's possible to answer two hours with of generic questions, when the person [me] is nervous already and be able to diagnose someone and...that's it.
Am I wrong for thinking that getting help is all a sham?

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You say you are tired of being the way you have been all your life, but then you can't be bothered to take the medications prescribed for a diagnosis you accept. That's like saying "I'm going to go out for a walk" and instead going into the house to watch TV.

It takes months to see the long term effects of these medications. If one mix of meds does not make you feel better, then the meds will e changed until you get a fit for your kind of neurology. It is not like waving a wand. It takes months, even years for the full effects of the meds to really take hold and make a positive change. But those meds can't work unless you take them.

You can change, and you can feel better, but this change has got to come from you.
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I used to be very similar and very self destructive. It took me until my mid 20's to start to really accept that I was going to have to give the meds a chance & work with my Dr to find the right "cocktail" of medications that work for me. I went through many different ones over the last 14+ years and my Dr just switched them up a bit for the first time in years today because of the health problems Seroquel has caused me. You already have made the hardest step and recognize you have a problem, it's a medical problem that can be helped but you have to do your part too. Give the medication time to work, it's not a miracle that happens over night. Just like the other post said it takes a long time for the medication to get in your system and really begin to work and the first things the perscribe you may not work or you may have side affects that you don't like such as weight gain etc... but work with your Dr. not agenst them. I keep a big pill organizer, I am on 5 meds for the bipolar and 3 pills in the morning for Adhd, not counting other health issues so it can be confusing. I admit at times I have just plain got so tired of taking pills that I quit taking everything for a couple weeks and I start to go down hill pretty fast. I have to keep reminding my self I like who I am when I take my meds and I bet if you give it a chance you will find out you feel the same way too. It's not an easy journey, find someone you can talk to about it thats supportive and find a Dr that will work with you that you are comfortable with.
Good Luck
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Doctors are a waste and a big sham.....stop the meds and go towards God, you'll do much much better. Don't allow others to say you are sick, just be with a God of your choice.
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I personally feel that many disorders come about because of past traumatic experiences that we as people often run from... Yes, some people have real conditions... But for the most part, i believe people rely on outside sources too much to fix things that actually are problems that are on the inside which they have never dealt with. I will use myself for an example. I was physically and mentally abused, (and if anyone out there knows anything about mental abuse, emotional abuse is never far from mental) the first six years of my child hood. I am currently 20 years old, and only recently have i come to terms with the things that have happened to me... I spent alot of time living on the streets in pittsburgh, pennsylvania, from the ages 11-14. At the time i was living with foster parents who i felt had no real interest in me.

I myself have been labeled with post traumatic stress disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, chronic depression, and the grand slam, bipolar with psychotic tendencies. These i was diagnosed with at the ages of 15-17, at which times i was being hospitalized. Whenever i was let go, (at the age of 18) i began to realize that everything was honestly all in my head... i could allow myself to be subject to these things, in essence they controlling me, or i could control them. i do control all of my diagnosis without the aid of any types of drugs. Granted it took many experiences for me to learn how, but i have succeeded. I've said all this to say, there is hope, you can control it, and i feel that many people can do so without the aid of drugs, prescription or otherwise.

P.S.
Martial arts was a big help. It teaches self confidence, and if practiced properly, you gain more control of you're thinking processes, which for many are half the problem, WHILE giving you more control over you're body... These are just some of my experiences and methods that I have found help me. I will not lie. At first, to be blunt, it sucks. and there will be days where you feel worthless and like nothing is worthwhile. But life is all about control, and never giving up. NO matter how bad things are, or get. Before i go, allow me to reiterate, some people have legitimate problems.

Good luck, all. Its simply about knowing yourself, and then taking measures to better who you are as a person.
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