I cut and all, but is getting a bruise from hitting yourself with something or slamming into things and getting bruises a form of self injury? And can anything happen to u from doing it? (like baker acting or hospitalization)
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As I'm sure you already know, cutting is usually from the need to "feel" something! Or too cope with stresses! And in many instances, IF the cutting is not "doing it" for the person, they will go further with hurting themselves through more painful Self Injury - such as slamming into things! As a mother of a son, who did this when he was very young! I can tell you from personal experience it can lead to MAJOR injury and even death! You can have concussions, blood clots, bumps that wont go away, broken capillaries, breaking bones, fractures, sprains etc.
You REALLY need to see someone or talk to someone regarding the WHY's! Because even though cutting is gaining strength, it still causes scars for EVERYONE to see well into the future! And IF you continue to slam yourself against walls etc. One day you WILL end up in the hospital with an injury that has caused you a LOT of pain, and then will also have to explain the self injury through cutting!
I understand that your pain is taken away through hurting yourself! BUT the hurting could turn into something even more devastating! Is there anyway you can get help from a professional?
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I have a psychiatrist who I hate seeing, and he doesnt seem to be listening to a thing I say or helping me with anything(this is the 3rd one). I also have a therapist who I see, and she knows about my cutting problem as well as others and has said I am not at the stage of stopping the cutting(whatever that means). The bruises always go away and I have never broken anything, even after falling out of trees, jumping off of other stuff, falling, and being reckless. Also, if I do go to the hospital for a serious injury, all I have to do is explain what happened and the cuts I will explain. They cant baker act you for cutting and as long as I have a story for the bruises they will brush it off anyway...right?
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Just know that professionals are trained to watch for the signs of suicide attempts, or self mutilation! Anyways this is NOT about other finding out, it's about the fact that you CAN seriously hurt yourself or more! You saying that nothing has happened YET, is the same as someone having continual unprotected sex, they WILL - eventually - end up being pregnant! Right? What your therapist means is that due to the fact that you are now hurting yourself MORE, there is no way you can stop cutting right now - or you would have! Do I take it that you have attempted suicide before - with the jumping off "of stuff" etc.?
IF you are on your 3rd psychiatrist, and don't like this one either! I think there is deeper issues going on! Please note that I am NOT a professional - just giving my personal experiences (either personally or from others)! I believe you are either hearing what you DON'T want too hear! OR you are hearing stuff that is NOT helping you with this! BUT 3 psychiatrists and a therapist and the fact that you are ramping up the self hurting, means - to me - that you are in FAR DEEPER stages than others understand!
What does your therapist say about you hurting yourself further? IF she doesn't know about it, WHY? Can you pinpoint any life events going on for you to ramp up the self harm? And also when do you think you started self harming? and do you have an understanding of "WHY?" Also what is the diagnosis from the 3 psychiatrists?
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I guess you are right with something Might eventually happen, but i dont know. I have tried stopping the cutting, i really have, i just fail at everything. yes i have attepmted it multiple time, failing each time. ODed multiple times(this past thursday being one of them), was baker acted the one time I almost succeeded. Jumped off things yes. I cant help not liking them. the 1st and 2nd guy overdosed me on medication and caused me to almost kill myself because for my size and age the medication was to much so i had side effects. this current guy doesnt listen to a thing i say, and continues to tell me to do things Im not aloud to do (counting calories and monitoring food intake as well as weight). If i am in deeper than what anyone wants to understand, well i dont know how to let them know the severity. my therapist does not know about the other self harming, only the cutting. i hate having so many problems and doing these stupid things so im afraid to tell her. Getting no answers to medical problems and not getting to do things independantly is making it harder to steer away from the harming. Also the weird emotions that spring up and change in a split second that i dont seem to have control over or understand/ i started the actual bad cutting my 10th grade year(just finished my 1st year in college). I have no clue anymore why I do it. The diagnosis has been the same. Major Depressive disorder... or depression, thats it. they shove meds in my face and tell me they are going to help, which so far they have failed to do.
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The answer for most thing is "meds" it makes me angry actually! Obviously these are NOT working for you! I have a feeling you have been on antidepressants for a LONG time and there are MANY studies that show that young people whom are on AD are actually more likely to self harm and even contemplate suicide and also have deepening "depression"! so I have a feeling this is what is happening with you! You aren't going to like what I'm about to say, BUT here goes! You HAVE to tell your therapist EVERYTHING - you have been open and honest with me - a TOTAL stranger! So now it's time to take that up a slight step to tell someone who is in charge of your wellbeing!
There is obviously something going on here - either some underlying medical or mental condition, that hasn't been addressed fully! You are the patient BUT I ALWAYS tell people to listen to their "spidey sense" so even though your mind not be thinking clear ALL the time, there will be times you KNOW that there is something going on that neither of the 3 psychiatrists have pointed out! To rule that someone is "Depressed" is easy! To rule that someone has a SEVERE underlying mental or physical incapacity is another thing all together!
I am sure you have researched about deperession - and sometimes that's the WORST thing you can do, as you start self diagnosing! BUT lets have a look at what you THINK is going on! What would you say IS going on with you? Have you diagnosed yourself previously - only to be shot down by the "specialists"?
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well, I know something is wrong, especially since i look in the mirror and have no clue who is staring back at me. And you are correct the meds are making things worse. I have only been on them and diagnosed since last october or november. yes i have researched it, but mainly because i had to do a paper/project on it... Actually it was about depression in teens and adolescents; medication vs. holistics..... I think i am just fed up with always getting the answer I dont know or nothing is wrong when clearly there is. Tired of living every day in so much pain, always having something wrong, having my parents struggle so much because of me. irritated with people taking away any independance i have. m***n doctors telling me to stop running, rollerblading, and other physical activity(either i have to stop cuz i cant or lessen it). I use physical activity as a coping method, but... well no one cares. not only have i partially self diagnosed, but my parents have also found some stuff. Been shot down all around.... Everything is chalked up to; you have this because of depression or because of anorexia nervosa... i had all the pain and muscle issues n stuff before depression so whatever. I just wish i could go to sleep and NEVER wake up.
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Honey! I CARE! You aren't just depressed! And for people to just sign you off that way is ridiculous! Under regular circumstances I would think that exercise is FANTASTIC for someone who is struggling, but now I know you have AN- I would wait till you get healthier and you WILL honey! A LOT of people and even professionals have NO time for Anorexics and young people who are depressed! It's the old thought system of "SNAP OUT OF IT!" well I think you would if you could, Right?
So you have only been put on anti=depressants for a year? And in that year did your anorexia or your other symptoms get worse? A lot of people don't know about pain accompanying depression - and it usually affects your muscles and your bones! Thus them giving anti-depressants for joint pain! I am interested in your TRIGGERS, what do you think set you off on this nightmare of a journey? Is there something that happened before you got sick, that made you feel the way you do! And when you look at yourself - and don't recognize yourself - in what way? Many Anorexics believe that they are overweight when they look in the mirror - is that your experience? The word "Depression" is used SO much that it is supposed to just explain ones symptoms! and it is SO VAGUE that the people feel unheard!
When you did the paper on it, did you relate to any of it, some of it, or none of it? I TRULY think you have NOT been correctly diagnosed - I am not a doctor so remember that honey - but I have suffered with depression for several years now! And I TOTALLY agree with my diagnosis! Because just because we are depressed doesn't mean we can't think for ourselves or know that something is wrong! So do YOU feel depressed - I know you are upset with ALL that is going on etc. but depression is different than upset! IF you don't really classify yourself as upset, what do you think it is? Also have you had your hormones checked and one silly question, how is your hair?
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How do you know im anorexic? and I had the muscle issues, stomach issues and nerve issues b 4 i got diagnosed. ive only been on antisepressants for 8 months. when i look in the mirrior i see disgust and dirt. an unclean and impure person. i avoid mirrors mostly and hate pictures. I was set off by learning and understanding what happened to me. Also i guess some triggers r constant pain, no answer for for any of my medical stuff. Failing sets me off, and just life throwing stuff at me constantly. I guess some of the paperi cold relate to, but not really i guess. i have no clue what i am. depressed, upset, frustrated, no clue. my hormones are pretty normal from what i know, but my mom thinks differently cuz of my nonexistent cycle. and my hair...... i just cut it short????? and its brown... what does that have to do with n e thing?
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You mentioned about the anorexia! The reason why I ask about your hair is it can show a LOT of problems! and IF you hair is thinning and dry ALL of this could be from you Thyroid being imbalanced! Also your period WILL be out IF you are an anorexic! NOW IF you have you NA under control, I DEFINITELY want you to have hormone tests! Because cessation of your period, and dry hair, pain etc can be the 1st signs of Thyroid Disease! Since this site doesn't allow me to do a link here are the 10 top symptoms of Thyroid illness!
10. Muscle and Joint Pains, Carpal Tunnel/Tendonitis Problems.
9. Neck Discomfort/Enlargement.
A feeling of swelling in the neck, discomfort with turtlenecks or neckties, a hoarse voice or a visibly enlarged thyroid can all be symptoms of thyroid disease.
8. Hair/Skin Changes.- dry fragile skin, painful skin, dry hair, loosing hair, etc.
7. Bowel Problems.
Severe or long-term constipation is frequently associated with hypothyroidism, while diarrhea or irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is associated with hyperthyroidism.
6. Menstrual Irregularities and Fertility Problems.
Heavier, more frequent and more painful periods are frequently associated with hypothyroidism, and shorter, lighter or infrequent menstruation
5. Family History.
3. Depression and Anxiety.
Depression or anxiety — including sudden onset of panic disorder — can be symptoms of thyroid disease. Hypothyroidism is most typically associated with depression, while hyperthyroidism is more commonly associated with anxiety or panic attacks. Depression that does not respond to antidepressants may also be a sign of an undiagnosed thyroid disorder
2. Weight Changes.
You may be on a low-fat, low-calorie diet with a rigorous exercise program, but are failing to lose or gain any weight. Or you may have joined a diet program or support group, such as Weight Watchers, and you are the only one who isn't losing any weight. Difficulty losing weight can be a sign of hypothyroidism. You may be losing weight while eating the same amount of food as usual — or even losing while eating more than normal. Unexplained weight changes and issues can be signs of both hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism.
1. Fatigue.
Feeling exhausted when you wake up, feeling as if 8 or 10 hours of sleep a night is insufficient or being unable to function all day without a nap can all be signs of thyroid problems. (With hyperthyroidism, you may also have nighttime insomnia that leaves you exhausted during the day.)
Just remember you DON'T need all of these symptoms to be diagnosed with Thyroid problems! And if you look at this, I truly think you need your hormones checked and your Thyroid! I know it sounds simple BUT IF this is the base of your problems, and you are self hurting from being SO Down, then this can be helped - if not cured - by effective treatment! What do you think of these symptoms?
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O yeah..... my hair isnt to dry, n its still pretty thick(not as much tho). Do lots of ur hair come out in the shower? I believe i have gotten my hormones tested, and to my knowledge they r fine, but with me, everything always comes back normal even tho u can clearly see something is wrong. Aslo, srry it took me so long to respond, lots going on and been pretty sick. Many of th esymptoms of the thyroid do sound like many of my symptoms tho.
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Due to the fact that you feel pretty sick - a lot of the time! I would DEFINITELY have a THOROUGH Thyroid done! There is something about you not responding to treatment - and can you imagine the reason is because you are being treated for the wrong thing!? It takes awhile for the tests to come back in, but it will definitely be worth it! Mention fatigue and feeling BLAH!
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I mention almost everything to the doctors. The only thing they ever come back to me with is I donk know what is wrong.
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Well how could they if they didn't do the indepth test for Thyroid Disease? Do you have any idea how many THOUSANDS of people suffer for years on end due to their Thyroid? It is HUGE! And I can't tell you that this is it! BUT if many of the symptoms sound like yours, perhaps we are on the right track or close too it! And remember a GP is a doctor that sees EVERY kind of problem - and without blood tests, or other tests, they CAN'T know the answer to something they aren't looking at! IF they think you are manic depressive, or psychotic etc. They aren't going to be looking at your Thyroid are they? I know you are down and fed up of ALL the negative answers! BUT to finally GET an answer and be validated is worth asking for some blood work up!
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So I know i'm of no help, but I just want to say that I totally get how you feel, well kinda. I feel like that all the time, that no one cares or listens, and it sucks. I think about hurting myself all the time to, and I do. Sometimes it just helps to know your not alone. But I hope things get figured out for you, it sucks feeling that way and not knowing whats wrong with you. All the best!
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