Can I get over the pain of abortion?

I had been with my parntner for a few months but had known him a few years I found out I was pregant and he came running to my side making me pee on every stick he could afford
I was excited and happy a baby in our lives that we can look after and teach it new things and see what bits it had of me and what bit came from my partner but no my partner came and sat in my car and without thinking I said don't worry we can get rid of it hoping he would say why don't u want it? Instead he said well what do u want I didn't no what to say I know I should of said keep it but we couldn't afford to look after it and we weren't living together we decided an abortion was the only way
I had to wait a few days before getting to see a nurse and working with children made it harder itried not to bond with it and tried ignoring the morning sickness but I culdnt there was my child inside me growing so I started speaking to it and gave him a name and told him about his parents this was the worst thing I culd of done the day of the doctors came I had a scan but didn't want to see him I was 8 weeks 1 day they signed me for the tablets and new pill I had to go back to take the 1st tablet the day arrived and a doctor said there u go this will cut the blood to the baby this made me sick how could I do this to our baby who gave me the right?
I took it and felt bad I cried that night to sleep two days later I went into hospital and the other tablets were inserted and I waited my partner was there the whole way through then I had very bad pains Nd ran to the toilet I was there for half an hour I new the baby had passed and It was sitting in a cardboard bed pan I cried knowin what I had done looking at it this was my tourture looking at the baby I could of had and I decided to kill it and it's laying there dead I felt like I was the worst person ever I shouldn't have the right to have children the nurse came and told me he had gone and the hospital would deal with the remains which was very sad in my head I said goodbye and that I was sorry
a month later I got rushed to hospital as I was still bleeding from the abortion this is normal but I shuldnt of been heavy they sent me to the same ward and I had to go to the same toilet I passed my child in it was a very sad time
I found out that I needed an operation as there was still blood in my womb so they die that and I was able to go after
returning to the same ward going to the same place my child came out was hard

I understand when people who have been through this say that if they have a child that is born they wouldn't be their first child

the day I left the hospital after the abortion my partner ran into a friend who's wife was expecting a baby I couldn't help but be upset and thinking I didn't want to know this the baby is now born and my partner has brought gifts which is soo upseting as they could of been for our child but instead there for someone elses we are seeing the child soon I just hope I don't cry

is there anyway u can get over this pain?