I've been with my partner for 3 years he is the love off my life, we wanted to be together previous to use getting together but due to use being in previous relationships we cudnt! when we did get to together we went through a lot we beat drug addictions together and literally stayed together through thick and thin however the beginning off our relationship he went to jail and why he was awAy he left his friends to watch over me and generally look after me. one off them I didn't like I felt very awkward around him and he made me feel very uncomfortable I booked a visit to go see him in Doncaster it was a four hour journey I originally planned to get the train but his consion arranged a lift which the following day I later realised it was the guy I didn't like.I missed the train so made the decision to take the lift I told my man I got a lift but from somebody eles I didn't tell him who the relay person was cos I new he would go mad as before he got llocked up he told me to stay away from him... later I realised why he was so adiment as when he dropped me home he insisted he came in I didn't won't him to but I feLtd scared and very intimidated when he came in I'd later live to regret it as I was raped, not once but twice by this animal my partner was due out in a few weeks, I decided not to tell him until he was Home as he was in jail and I nee his head would have been done I'm. that day he came home he called to say he was at train station I asked him to come straight home so we could talk he new something was up he made me tell him over the phone so I did.,silence not a word then the phone went dead I didn't see him for 2 days.. when he did show his face It was awful he called me a lier and said he didn't believe me he said Cuz I lied who bought me to see him that's y he didn't believe me thing is I can't get them words out my head and I can't move on or forgive him for whst he said...he tells me he believes me now thing is its to late because he still doubted me how could he do that and the worst thing is he don't understand what he has done everytime I think about what happened I think off him and him not believeing me it kills me everyday and. The hurt I feel Is worst to what actually happened to me, I need closure on that day and I don't no how to do it I think I will only get closure if I leave the man off my dreams the man I've only loved I can't see us moving forward why I hold this hate in my heart for him, I never thought id feel this way about my 1 true love my soul mate but I do and it's killing me inside its killing me so much, Any advice is very welcome please help me to sort this out before it distroys me x x