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hello i am 13 i cannot pull my foreskin back erect or not it hurt i cant even see my head what can i do help please thanks :-)

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Hi honey! Unfortunately you should have been able to do this since you were 4 years old! ALL male children need to gently pull back their foreskin and just cleanse around the sleeve so that the area is kept clean and "residue" free! Do NOT try to do this when you are dry! This is what I want you to do for about 2 weeks, IF it doesn't improve by then you will have to see your doctor who will send you to a urologist!

1. In a very warm bath, put about 3 cups of Epsom Salts - or Bicarbonite of Soda in the water! And just have enough water to go over your thighs and soak your penis! After several minutes, gently try to move your foreskin back! As soon as you feel a twinge, STOP!! When you get out of the bath, shower off the area - as it will leave a white salty residue! Then rub some olive oil into the tip of the foreskin, and once again try gently to pull it back. Massage the oil into the skin! Do this once or twice a day, for the next 2 weeks, you can also try it in the shower, as long as the skin is warm and softeneed with the water! Do NOT try to do this if you become erect, you can cause damage! It's ALL about slow and easy OK honey? If you massage the skin, with the oil and keep the skin moving, this SHOULD work well! It has for 2 other young men I have counselled on here! Once you finally get the skin to retract you have to make sure you keep the area clean EVERYDAY! Especially now that you are in puberty! You just gently pull back the skin - while showering and wash the area! Just a simple cleansing! Good luck and health!
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Beg to differ. It is not uncommon for a teenage boy to not be able to pull back his foreskin until about 15-16. It should be a little loose, but pulling it back is a different story altogether. You do need to work at it gently to loosen it up though. Bambi gives some good advice, just take your time.

If you look through these forums you'll see lots of guys with the same issue. It's normal.

Don't try to force it back. It can get stuck, called paraphimosis, and that's a trip to the A&E or ER.

Hope that helps.
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hello bambi thanks for the help where can i get some Epsom Salts from ? your a real help thanks alot :-)
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User avatar
Health Ace
6880 posts
There are obviously two different sides on this subject. I am on the same side as Bambi. I was born in 1940 when most male babies in the US were unfortunate enough to be subjected to the horrible pain of having a big piece of skin cut off without the benefit of anesthesia. Welcome to world the kid :-S

My mother said NO!!!!

Her doctor told her to pull my foreskin all the way back to wash under it every time she bathed me so I have always been able to retract it all the way. However, when I got into my teen years my erections became larger and it was quite painful if the tip got caught behind the glans during an erection. I cured that myself by stretching it.

Bambi has some very good advice about how to do that. I did mine while in the shower by inserting two fingers in the end and forcing it open as much as I could stand and holding it there as long as I could. Ten or fifteen minutes is ideal if you have the time and patience. Soon I was able to get three fingers in there and that seemed to be enough but I kept at it for about six months to make sure it didn't go back to it's old self.

There is also a tool for this. I think it's called the Glansie. Google that.

When you do get your glans out so you can wash behind it, be sure to rinse off the soap well. It becomes somewhat painufl after a while if there is any trapped under the foreskin. Usually not until you are out in public where you all you can do is grin and bear it. o.O

I wish I had known about Bambi's method. It sounds a lot nicer than mine. :-D
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Hi Honey! You can get Epsom Salts from any pharmacy - they are REALLY cheap, and of course Baking Soda is just as cheap but more readily available in both pharmacies and grocery stores! Just ALWAYS be gentle, you should only feel tightening, NOT pain OK?

Medic Dan!! I am so upset! You ALWAYS agree with me, what happened to our relationship!!! XD XD XD ;-) Just kidding! Everyone is different, and I know that! I also know - with 2 teenage boys - that cleaning the area and an erection is different! It's just a LOT of parents, don't know that you are supposed to pull back the foreskin, just past the head to clean it, starting at 4 years old!!! I was told by my pediatrician! And I have counselled a couple of mothers on here that weren't aware of this and actually pulled back the foreskin when they were little, and actually caused damage!!!!

so just be careful OK? Good lucka nd health honey!
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Wow, stop the presses... I actually got sick reading this. The advice to "clean" under a boy's foreskin, at any age, is so outdated and ill-advised that I had to jump in here.



I have been counseling parents on care issues for over 20 years. Medical associations in North American and Australasia are now in agreement with what has been SOP in Europe, South America and Asia forever... parents have no need to retract their sons' foreskins. In fact, the AAP advice never even mentions parents cleaning this area; only the boy himself, when he is old enough. I shudder to think how many parents and sons have been traumatized by premature retraction and then worry about whether a boy is developing on schedule for his foreskin to retract. This is a uniquely North American concern, and not a valid one. Here is a really good discussion by the author of a highly-regarded book on human sexuality.



A current and more forceful renunciation of the cleaning advice can be found here on a physician site.



While it's true that many boys' foreskins remain snug on erection much later than when they can first retract when soft, it does NOT mean that parents should start encouraging retraction. The median age for being able to retract at all -- for cleaning or anything else -- is 10 years. A generation ago many doctors mistakenly advised parents that the foreskin should be retractable for cleaning by age 3, but that was based on an absolutely incorrect interpretation of Jakob Øster's seminal research published in 1968. All such sources have now updated their information.



When parents ask me at what age they can expect to see their son's glans fully for the first time, I generally reply, "Never -- if you're doing it right." By the time a boy retracts his foreskin for the first time, he should be old enough that his parents aren't bathing him anymore. While it is true that all bodies are different, and some boys have the foreskin and glans separate at an earlier age, the penis remains largely self-cleaning and requires no special care before puberty. A parent should only ever gently clean the outside of the penis, not even attempting to see how far the foreskin can retract. If they happen to discover that the foreskin slips back on its own, they can then gently clean with warm water (no soap!) and return the foreskin to its forward position, teaching the son to do this on his own as soon as he can.



It is a complete myth and misunderstanding of human anatomy to assume that what is under the foreskin is "dirty" and prone to infection. What mostly is there in young boys is continually-sloughing epithelial cells of the synechia that binds the foreskin and glans. Early on, there is no room for urine or anything else to get trapped. Smegma "pearls" of epithelial cells work their way to the tip of the foreskin (and out) on their own, and the penis is largely self-cleaning. Moreover, the cells of smegma contain lysozymes that are both antiviral and antibacterial, at least as far as harmful bacteria go. The normal flora beneath the foreskin contains normal, healthy bacteria, as does most of our skin. It's actually best to just leave this all alone until puberty, unless the body signals that the foreskin is starting to retract on its own sooner, which is fine. Either way, the advice is the same: the first, and only, one to see a boy's glans should normally be the boy himself.



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Thankyou Barcino! The reason why I stated at 4, is this is when I was told - BY my pediatrician - that this is when little boys start wanting to clean themselves, and we - as parents - must make sure that they don't pull the skin too far back - to cause tearing and hurting them! As in any other health information, things change ALL the time, there are more and more problems with misinformation, and all I try and do on here, is advise as I was! As does everyone else! For a teenage boy to reach out for help, and have a difficult time, it is hard for them! I never even tried to clean under the foreskin of my sons, and then my pediatrician told me to have the boys start doing it at 4, and supervise them at that time, and only once in awhile! I was told it was to help with keeping the entire area clean and healthy! I think you and I have stated the same that cleansing the area is just a regular part of cleanliness and should be doon as soon as they can take care of this on their own = depending on their age of course! My youngest son, was around 6 before he bathed on his own, and that's when he started doing it himself - I never did this to either of my boys, I just knew that it was now their time, when they could do it themselves. My boys are 17 and 14! You and I also mentioned about puberty! And just like I have told my boys, this is the time to really keep things clean - ALL over their bodies, as they sweat more etc.

Information changes ALL the time, so I am glad for you input into this matter! Beliefs and treatments change all the time - as when virtually all boys were circumsized etc. I was against the norm actually, insisting that my eldest would not be circumsized, but yet in less that 3 years, circumcision was no longer even offered in hospitals or even asked of the parents!! Thankyou again!
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Bambi, you are so right... we are essentially saying the same thing. I just got spooked when I read your first reply that I interpreted as scolding (scaring?) the poor guy by saying he should have been able to retract by 4 years old, as if something was very wrong with him if he couldn't. I remember being so easily influenced as a teen that a message like that would have made me seriously question whether I was normal.

When I re-read your post, I have to also consider the possibility that you were just joking with him, and not really telling him that he was developmentally deficient. I've seen a lot of your posts and I know that you care very much for the well-being of everyone that comes on here with questions. And you, like me, are here to read others' posts and learn new things. That's why I was surprised.

My parents cleaned my brother and me so thoroughly that I can't ever remember a time I couldn't retract my foreskin. But maybe that wasn't the best way to care at the time, just what the doctors were saying. But I've watched carefully as the advice has evolved, and now most medical associations are on the same page (or at least on their way to the same page) in acknowledging that retracting to clean shouldn't have the same emphasis that it did before. In fact, one of the driving factors of this policy change is that the medical profession has learned that numerous ailments, from UTIs to even BXO, can be traced to the intact glans being exposed and possibly coming into contact with HPV and other viruses from a caregiver's hands (inadvertently, obviously).

One definite trend we're seeing in North America as more boys are kept intact is that retraction is happening later and later, much as it does in Europe and elsewhere in the world. A new video by a very conscientious and talented young man in Chicago presents this in a touching, personal way. And by his experience, the concern of the OP here (dude12345) is premature or misplaced. He's developing pretty much on target and can start exploring & cleaning more thoroughly.

Parents can do so much to prepare their sons and daughters for the stages of their bodies' development. I'm sure we agree; we owe them no less!

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Actually I reread my statement, and I'm a little surprised at how it came out too!!!! I was meaning that he - as I have taught my boys - should have been comfortable with this for a long time! I didn't mean to suggest what it sounded like!!! o.O Thank God that 4 year olds can't read my post LOL XD XD I know from friends sons, that they ALL grab their penis's and just yank away, and sometimes tearing or really bad scaring can occur! I remember when my pediatrician told me, I though I was going to faint!!!! XD I'm glad I left it up to them, because I would have hated to hurt them by retracting it too far!! Also I have ALWAYS taught my boys about personal space! So I never wanted to cross that line with them, my eldest was always far advanced with taking care of himself, but my youngest was about 6, and then was "too old" for me to see him in the bath!!! ;-) So thankyou for pointing that out to me, and to any 4 year old out there you are NOT deviant!!! And DON'T pull it all the way back!!!! ;-) XD XD Sorry about that guys!
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would the epson salt and olive oil thing work for a tight frenulum to ? im not sure if i have a tight foreskin or frenulum or both really i cant see but im kinda sure the frenulum is so i was wonderin if the salt and oil worked for all of them.

im kinda scared at the moment as i can see my girlfriend will probally ask for sex soon :-(

thanks
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hi i have the same problem im 14 years old didnt hit puberty yet no pubic hair and i cant pul the fore skin all back the head can come out only a piece of it but the sides look like they are stuck with the head not like hirst its real stuck it looks like skin .. and im real scared about it and to shy to talk to my mother or the doctor..
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Health Ace
6880 posts
Well, everyone is different but my frenulum wasn't a problem until after I got the foreskin loose enough so it was not too tight when it was behind the glans during an erection. Then as I pulled it further back I could see and feel it pulling down on the tip of my penis. If I pulled it back enough, it hurt. It wasn't until I began having sex that it tore.

Why not share this with your GF and get her to assist you in stretching it? That should be a lot of fun for both of you and it might bring you closer together.
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Actually I HAVE to step in and NOT suggest that - sorry njoynlife :( - This is a VERY sensitive area, and if you tear or you girlfriend accidently tears you, you will both feel terrible, and it could cause a LOT of damage! Below is what is expected of your penis and what you should be able to do! NOTE!!!! IT's Graphic! But will help you understand that the least you mess around with it the better! As you will be able to see the Frenulum is just like the bit of skin - actually it is almost identical - under your tonque! So just practice with the oil and salts on your foreskin OK? And don't pull back too much! Once again this is VERY graphic, but it's OK!

http://net.indra.com/~shredder/intact/anatomy/
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User avatar
Health Ace
6880 posts
Oops, bambi.
I guess I wasn't too clear on that.
I didn't mean to suggest they work on stretching the frenulum. I don't know if that's even possible. I don't think mine stretched at all, it just tore during sex until it was no longer a problem.

I was remembering when I was stretching my foreskin and thinking about how it would have been much more fun if my wife had been willing to help. Alas, apparently due to what happened to her when she was young, she doesn't even want to touch my penis.
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