Hello! My question is short but I have to write about what triggered those questions. Thanks in advance for taking time out to read and replying.
I am a first year Masters student who is eternally (wouldn't say it is the wrong word) anxious and thus stressed. This all started in July, after I completed my graduation. I had a job offer at one of the big four accounting firms, albeit at a package I didn't like. At the same time, I also had the option of going for Masters because of my graduation score being too good. I decided to go for Masters because of the following reasons:
A. My parents were against me working immediately after graduation, and they left no stone unturned to make me conform to their thinking.
B. I didn't like the annual salary which the company that offered me the job was offering me, so I got tilted towards pursuing a Masters. But, the course wasn't anywhere near to what I thought it would be. Since I got admission in the same University from which I graduated and it is one of the best universities in the country and my parents' dream university for the course, I had expectations. There were 200 students in my class and the teachers didn't take any special interest in teaching. Consequently, I stopped attending classes at all, didn't interact with anybody, and sat at home regretting my choice. Three months passed.
Come exam time, and I felt overwhelmed by the amount of syllabus and diificulty level, which were 20 times as comapred to those during under-graduation. I decided to give up.
Now, I have an exam tomorrow of which I don't know a word. I know that I am going to fail, but can't stop over-thinking (yes, right!) about it. I feel like crying and cursing myself for making a wrong decision that can affect my career adversely.
I know it is all my fault - not attending classes - but don't know how to prepare myself mentally for the remaining three semesters. Also, I think it is my parents' fault as well for not having been as excited and happy as I was when I got the job.
I don't know what to do now. I need some guidance or rebuke, whichever I deserve.
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I wish to know if my parents are at fault here or is it me or is it none?
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Thank you so much, malo, for replying. I read your reply thrice and really appreciate each and every word of it. I will surely incorporate what you said in my daily routine. Yes, I would like to tell you. Also, you, too, feel free to talk to me if anything that bothers you or has been bothering you. I would willingly listen. I don't know if e-mail ids can be exchanged here. How can I reach out to you?
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I apologize for having replied so late. I was studying for my exams that got finished today.
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Ignore the guest reply because I had forgotten to log in before replying. :-)
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