Thanks Dawn! That makes a lot of sense, and makes things a lot easier :-) Your right, it is all about how I deal with it! Before I would just ignore it and be hurt by it and not understand it at all and yet try to do anything to please her...But after talking to you, I know to just be myself and be okay with it...and not take her c**p anymore but I can now truely understand where shes comming from and why she does what she does. It's sad, but before I only thought about myself, and how everything made me feel, and not really how others feel and what they need too 8-| so i'm going to accept it, but NOT allow it, like you said! :-D
Things kind of changed, tonight her sisters are comming over, so again she was going to go out and grab some stuff and asked me if I would help clean (like I don't mind helping out at all, I really don't! But I don't like being used!) so I told her I can sweep and vacuum if she can help and do the dishes and clean the bathroom and other stuff. So she said okay, so when she came home she actually helped me...so things are kind of changing and getting better :-) now...to try the doctors thing...lol
But thanks, I really mean it!! You really helped me a lot! It helps a lot when you can understand things better :-D
Things kind of changed, tonight her sisters are comming over, so again she was going to go out and grab some stuff and asked me if I would help clean (like I don't mind helping out at all, I really don't! But I don't like being used!) so I told her I can sweep and vacuum if she can help and do the dishes and clean the bathroom and other stuff. So she said okay, so when she came home she actually helped me...so things are kind of changing and getting better :-) now...to try the doctors thing...lol
But thanks, I really mean it!! You really helped me a lot! It helps a lot when you can understand things better :-D
Loading...
Hi bambi,
Just thought I would update you, I kinda miss talking to you lol even though I don't know who you are 8-|
So I got my period this week so I finally got my mom to take me to the doctors! :-D about time! He never really said much %-) But I got a blood test done and got the results today and he said I have hypothyroidism, so I have to go back for another blood test in a few months. It runs in my family though, my mom has it and her dad, and she's had surgery on hers and is on meds...I hope I don't have to do that!! o.O But you were right, he put me on the pill, and i've been like nauseous (sp?) all week! so hope it helps! O and apparently i'm anemic!
So my moms side of the family is having a bunch of pictures done, for my grandparents 50th anniversary, so were all trying to coordinate colours so we some what 'match'...well my mom went shopping and bought an outfit and went to my grandmas house to show her what she got, and my grandma said she didn't like it so my mom went back to the store to return it and get something else...that made me so mad when she told me that!! I really hate when she doesn't stick up for herself!! there are even times when my dad will say something mean and she doesn't say anything back so then I do for her and she gets mad at me! ... I do stand up for myself when it comes to family putting me down, but not necessarily to others. Me and my dad go at it all the time! because he will say stuff thats rude and insensitive...I try not to like argue with him, but I will try to let him know hes wrong or mean. And yesterday we went to my Nana's house for her birthday (my dads mom) and my dad kept like putting me down (or joking around!) So I defended myself and just tried to breath through it...so rediculous! tried to see where he was comming from!! I think it hurt him when my Grandad said "his son was home" when it was my cousin (so his grandson).. because they raised him his whole life and treated him like a prince and my dad was never treated like that, so I think that really hurt him...we both looked at each other when he said it.
So thats my dumb update! XD I try not to let things get to me anymore, which helps kind of by defending myself and understanding whats going on for them, but sometimes its hard in the moment!!
Just thought I would update you, I kinda miss talking to you lol even though I don't know who you are 8-|
So I got my period this week so I finally got my mom to take me to the doctors! :-D about time! He never really said much %-) But I got a blood test done and got the results today and he said I have hypothyroidism, so I have to go back for another blood test in a few months. It runs in my family though, my mom has it and her dad, and she's had surgery on hers and is on meds...I hope I don't have to do that!! o.O But you were right, he put me on the pill, and i've been like nauseous (sp?) all week! so hope it helps! O and apparently i'm anemic!
So my moms side of the family is having a bunch of pictures done, for my grandparents 50th anniversary, so were all trying to coordinate colours so we some what 'match'...well my mom went shopping and bought an outfit and went to my grandmas house to show her what she got, and my grandma said she didn't like it so my mom went back to the store to return it and get something else...that made me so mad when she told me that!! I really hate when she doesn't stick up for herself!! there are even times when my dad will say something mean and she doesn't say anything back so then I do for her and she gets mad at me! ... I do stand up for myself when it comes to family putting me down, but not necessarily to others. Me and my dad go at it all the time! because he will say stuff thats rude and insensitive...I try not to like argue with him, but I will try to let him know hes wrong or mean. And yesterday we went to my Nana's house for her birthday (my dads mom) and my dad kept like putting me down (or joking around!) So I defended myself and just tried to breath through it...so rediculous! tried to see where he was comming from!! I think it hurt him when my Grandad said "his son was home" when it was my cousin (so his grandson).. because they raised him his whole life and treated him like a prince and my dad was never treated like that, so I think that really hurt him...we both looked at each other when he said it.
So thats my dumb update! XD I try not to let things get to me anymore, which helps kind of by defending myself and understanding whats going on for them, but sometimes its hard in the moment!!
Loading...
Hi honey! I've missed you too! One thing I've told my boys and I will tell you too is that Adults are just Bigger children! They have ALL of these responsibilities, but really don't have a clue what they are doing!!!! 8-| ;-) It's true, that's why there are SO many thousands of Parenting books! I have an idea of why your parents act the way they do towards you, see if you agree with this?:
Your mom is an adult, BUT as soon as her mother dissaproves of her she INSTANTLY goes to this little jaded girl and tries and does anything to get her approval, so she looks and feels weak! So then her 16 year old daughter says out loud, what she feels she should have said, and it makes her feel twice as "WEAK" 1. That she CAN'T disobey her mother 2. Her own daughter has more guts than she does! EXACT same with your dad, you dad says things to minimize people, as he has ALWAYS felt 2nd, 3rd etc, that he was NEVER good enough to be called "HIS SON!" You are looking at both of them with a new sense of what is going on - due to my EXCELLENY guidance! ;-) o.O XD XD 8) - BUT you are cluing in to the fact that your parents are falable and have been broken as children! I think when you speak up they have different emotions - Pride, Embarassment, Feeling less than, GLEE! and the reason why I capitalized Glee is because, when you are a broken child, and someone FINALLY comes to your defence you are FILLED with such happiness that someone is validating you as a human being! BUT then comes in the parental though of "Claire don't be rude to your elders!" Kind of like - "don't show me up in front of MY parents" and "I am SO proud of her for attacking them when I can't" Because to them - on top of everything else in their present and past - they do NOT want their parents or siblings to say to them "Well you sure have a wild daughter in Claire, must be your lack of parenting skills" So another ZINGER against them - does that make sense?
i am sure you are anemic from all of thos clots and bleeding, I'm glad he put you on the pill - which one? Also at first your body takes awhile getting used to the new hormones, but it does settle down - usually by 3 months! Also know that some women need to change their pills to find the right fit!
Just remember honey, you CANT be mad at who your parents are OK? What they say to you, DEFINITELY you stand up for yourself! DONT be rude though - as it will get their backs up! BUT also show them that ehat they have said and done is NOT acceptable and will NOT be accepted if they do it again! Patterns are hard to break! BUT it can be done OK!? RU doing finals right now?
Your mom is an adult, BUT as soon as her mother dissaproves of her she INSTANTLY goes to this little jaded girl and tries and does anything to get her approval, so she looks and feels weak! So then her 16 year old daughter says out loud, what she feels she should have said, and it makes her feel twice as "WEAK" 1. That she CAN'T disobey her mother 2. Her own daughter has more guts than she does! EXACT same with your dad, you dad says things to minimize people, as he has ALWAYS felt 2nd, 3rd etc, that he was NEVER good enough to be called "HIS SON!" You are looking at both of them with a new sense of what is going on - due to my EXCELLENY guidance! ;-) o.O XD XD 8) - BUT you are cluing in to the fact that your parents are falable and have been broken as children! I think when you speak up they have different emotions - Pride, Embarassment, Feeling less than, GLEE! and the reason why I capitalized Glee is because, when you are a broken child, and someone FINALLY comes to your defence you are FILLED with such happiness that someone is validating you as a human being! BUT then comes in the parental though of "Claire don't be rude to your elders!" Kind of like - "don't show me up in front of MY parents" and "I am SO proud of her for attacking them when I can't" Because to them - on top of everything else in their present and past - they do NOT want their parents or siblings to say to them "Well you sure have a wild daughter in Claire, must be your lack of parenting skills" So another ZINGER against them - does that make sense?
i am sure you are anemic from all of thos clots and bleeding, I'm glad he put you on the pill - which one? Also at first your body takes awhile getting used to the new hormones, but it does settle down - usually by 3 months! Also know that some women need to change their pills to find the right fit!
Just remember honey, you CANT be mad at who your parents are OK? What they say to you, DEFINITELY you stand up for yourself! DONT be rude though - as it will get their backs up! BUT also show them that ehat they have said and done is NOT acceptable and will NOT be accepted if they do it again! Patterns are hard to break! BUT it can be done OK!? RU doing finals right now?
Loading...
Ya, she does that with EVERYONE!! Tries to please everyone, and does so much for everyone that she forgets about herself and sometimes her family! And I hate that!! sometimes i'm like "just sit down and relax already!" and tell her to "stop!" lol...But I guess she gets that from trying to please her mom and her family.
Ya...your like right on the ball! ... like I know its not my place to step in sometimes and I really shouldn't say anything, but sometimes I look at her and am like this is rediculous! are you going to take that! so I step in because I can't take it anymore, I guess because I understand how she feels...ya I think sometimes my parents are 'proud' that I speak up, but then sometimes I think they wished I wouldn't lol ... And family do know i'm strongish, but because i'm so quiet, when it comes out of me their like taken back lol I am quiet, but I do stand up for whats right sometimes, and if someone is really wrong, i'll let them know...but your right! makes total sense, its so true!!
ummm...he put me on Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo...is that a good one?
No, I'm not mad at them anymore :-D like you and I said, it helps a lot when you can understand them better. I try really hard to not make it sound rude, and I don't think I do, maybe every once in awhile but not normally. I have another week of school before I start my exams :-(
Ya...your like right on the ball! ... like I know its not my place to step in sometimes and I really shouldn't say anything, but sometimes I look at her and am like this is rediculous! are you going to take that! so I step in because I can't take it anymore, I guess because I understand how she feels...ya I think sometimes my parents are 'proud' that I speak up, but then sometimes I think they wished I wouldn't lol ... And family do know i'm strongish, but because i'm so quiet, when it comes out of me their like taken back lol I am quiet, but I do stand up for whats right sometimes, and if someone is really wrong, i'll let them know...but your right! makes total sense, its so true!!
ummm...he put me on Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo...is that a good one?
No, I'm not mad at them anymore :-D like you and I said, it helps a lot when you can understand them better. I try really hard to not make it sound rude, and I don't think I do, maybe every once in awhile but not normally. I have another week of school before I start my exams :-(
Loading...
I DRINK!! ;-) XD XD JK with you honey!
Depression is a BIG question that isn't easily answered! Is it from REAL things going on in your life that you should be upset about? Is it hormonal? Is it something going on health wise? Or is that overwhelming sense of doom? What I was asked, I will mention here! "IF ALL your dreams came true, and you won the lotto etc tommorrow! Would you feel just as BLAH?" Depression is catagorized by not being interested in what used to be interesting! Lack of sleep, sometimes empathy, self pity, hypochondira etc etc etc!
Why honey!?
Depression is a BIG question that isn't easily answered! Is it from REAL things going on in your life that you should be upset about? Is it hormonal? Is it something going on health wise? Or is that overwhelming sense of doom? What I was asked, I will mention here! "IF ALL your dreams came true, and you won the lotto etc tommorrow! Would you feel just as BLAH?" Depression is catagorized by not being interested in what used to be interesting! Lack of sleep, sometimes empathy, self pity, hypochondira etc etc etc!
Why honey!?
Loading...
I don't know...
Like i'll talk to you on here and then you'll explain things and i'll agree and understand them and then feel better and be more positive and understading of stuff and try to change, and then like after a few days i'll feel down again. And I know it doesn't help when my parents will say stuff or make comments that upset me, and school right now is stressful (so I know i'm stressed out) and it seems like i'm getting in trouble a lot lately for being a teen. And I know I kind of just started the pill, and I googled stuff about it and it said it can make you feel down, so then i'm like okay maybe its that. But then I look back, and remember feeling this way when I started to write on here. And I tried to do something, but I didn't, so I don't know...
If I won the lotto I would be just as blah, sure it will give me stuff but it won't change my family or whats going on, I would still be in trouble all the time, which I never use to be %-) but if all my dreams came true, then I don't know. Like if I could be happy and live a nice happy life then maybe, but what you make it that? Like i'll hang out with my friends and i'll feel better somewhat, but then I come back here and feel all alone. :-(
Like i'll talk to you on here and then you'll explain things and i'll agree and understand them and then feel better and be more positive and understading of stuff and try to change, and then like after a few days i'll feel down again. And I know it doesn't help when my parents will say stuff or make comments that upset me, and school right now is stressful (so I know i'm stressed out) and it seems like i'm getting in trouble a lot lately for being a teen. And I know I kind of just started the pill, and I googled stuff about it and it said it can make you feel down, so then i'm like okay maybe its that. But then I look back, and remember feeling this way when I started to write on here. And I tried to do something, but I didn't, so I don't know...
If I won the lotto I would be just as blah, sure it will give me stuff but it won't change my family or whats going on, I would still be in trouble all the time, which I never use to be %-) but if all my dreams came true, then I don't know. Like if I could be happy and live a nice happy life then maybe, but what you make it that? Like i'll hang out with my friends and i'll feel better somewhat, but then I come back here and feel all alone. :-(
Loading...
Hi honey! BIG HUG!! I don't think you are depressed, I think you are sad - about your home life - and also the pill, your hormones, LIFE, being a teenager - with ALL that goes with that (School, friends, boyfriends, peer pressure, etc)! I was always dreading going home, because over at my friends house and being with THEIR parents, I realized that it wasn't me! It was my parents! so I found my sancturary and my peace with my guy and girl friends! I was very lucky that I had a lot of them! BUT think of this! One of my dearest guy friends, Doug, was one of the 2 guys I talked too the most! Even about periods for crying out loud! He would listen to me about my parents and the abuse I had endured! BUT what he was going through was 10 times worse! His father was the worst pig walking the earth! There wasn't a week where one of the family or sometimes ALL were bruised! When I was about 15, Doug was scared to go home because his dad was in a "mood" when we walked into his house it was HORRIFIC! His mom had JUST been beaten and this man was BEYOND sane! He turne towards Doug and I stepped in front and said "You are a PIG! and IF you will have to go through me to get too him!' He stormed out of the house and we helped Dougs mom! He didn't talk to me for awhile, because he didn't know what I was going to do with that information! Eventually he called and I acted like nothing happened and he too! So my point is this honey, obviously your parents aren't giving you what you need, and you can still get that from your friends! BUT sometimes when you see other families and think "I wish I had THEM for parents" sometimes that would be the WORST!
For ANY parent - damaged or not - to MAKE their children feel unloved and sad is DISGUSTING! And this is not to be tolerated! I know I've tried to make you u nderstand the wonkiness of adults, BUT that said they still have to be held accountable for their poor parenting skills! My kids will tell me [point blank if I've been too over emotional, or I hear this a lot "OK! What gives with you today?!" and it gives me that look inside to turn around and say "sorry" For some reason parents don't think they need to apoloogize, and that is c**p! How can you parent a child and MAKE them apologize and be repentant, yet you think you have done nothing wrong?! So all I can say honey is understand it yes! Accept it NO! And find solice NOT in the home! You have told them over and over again how they are making you feel! So IF you stop being around so much - which I think would affect them - then the moment WILL come where they ask you "why?!"!
What do you mean you are getting in trouble?
For ANY parent - damaged or not - to MAKE their children feel unloved and sad is DISGUSTING! And this is not to be tolerated! I know I've tried to make you u nderstand the wonkiness of adults, BUT that said they still have to be held accountable for their poor parenting skills! My kids will tell me [point blank if I've been too over emotional, or I hear this a lot "OK! What gives with you today?!" and it gives me that look inside to turn around and say "sorry" For some reason parents don't think they need to apoloogize, and that is c**p! How can you parent a child and MAKE them apologize and be repentant, yet you think you have done nothing wrong?! So all I can say honey is understand it yes! Accept it NO! And find solice NOT in the home! You have told them over and over again how they are making you feel! So IF you stop being around so much - which I think would affect them - then the moment WILL come where they ask you "why?!"!
What do you mean you are getting in trouble?
Loading...
Well then how do I not be sad? I hate it! its like one of the worst things feelings in the world! But I haven't been totally honest about everything thats been going on, a while ago, I came on here and wrote a post that one of the other members answered....And I think thats whats been eating me up a lot. I want to talk about it, but then something you said makes me feel like I shouldn't talk about it with you, but I don't know who else I should talk too.
Ya I love being with my friends too!! Their great!! And I know they too have it worse off then me. Like my best best friend, she has 7 brothers and sisters! And she is the second oldest! Her dad is an alcoholic, and hes mean, i'm not fully sure if hes abusive or not but he is mean ( I think he is abusive but my friend won't admit it). And her mom, well its obvious she has a lot on her plate! But she expects my friend to be the maid of the house 24/7, and blames her for everything! And she too makes her feel like c**p, and will call her fat (she is like rediculously skinny and tall!!) But I love her, and we totally get one another! And my other friend her mom is a lawyer so she expects nothing but the best from her, because her brother and sister are failures so shes like given up on them and put all the pressure on my friend to be something she doesn't want to be, it sucks! And her mom puts her down too, even though shes so intelligent and fun!! And my other guy friend, well his brother is disabled, so hes taking care of him all the time for his mom...It sucks, and he's the youngest and his older brother don't help at all. But we can all understand where were all coming from. And I know I should be greatful, and I am, because I know people do have it far worse off then me, and i'm greatful for what I do have. Like your friend Doug, thats crazy to endure that! You are a very brave women! Did you marry that man? :-D XD
Well i'm getting in trouble for voicing how i'm feeling, or comments they make that upset me and I let them know...and then my dad will say "for crying out lound!" and get mad because he did nothing wrong. My mom too will say it was nothing, when it was! and i've looked back on what i've said, thinking maybe I didn't say it right or something but I did. Or my grades, our teacher showed us what we were getting before exams so we know where were sitting before we go into them, well I told my mom (because I was proud of myself and thought I did good) and shes like "why are you doing so bad in this class!?" and blah blah blah... i'm getting high 80's and some 90's and thats what I get! my brother was lucky enough to even pass by and they were proud of him to at least pass. And then other day I got caught making out with a guy...so I heard that one...but i'm a teenage girl, its inevitable i'm going to kiss boys! at least it wasn't in my room or anything like that! 8-|
My friends and I talk all the time about wanting to move out one day, and we wish we could be like that tv show Friends XD and how cool it would be! were nerds....lol
Ya I love being with my friends too!! Their great!! And I know they too have it worse off then me. Like my best best friend, she has 7 brothers and sisters! And she is the second oldest! Her dad is an alcoholic, and hes mean, i'm not fully sure if hes abusive or not but he is mean ( I think he is abusive but my friend won't admit it). And her mom, well its obvious she has a lot on her plate! But she expects my friend to be the maid of the house 24/7, and blames her for everything! And she too makes her feel like c**p, and will call her fat (she is like rediculously skinny and tall!!) But I love her, and we totally get one another! And my other friend her mom is a lawyer so she expects nothing but the best from her, because her brother and sister are failures so shes like given up on them and put all the pressure on my friend to be something she doesn't want to be, it sucks! And her mom puts her down too, even though shes so intelligent and fun!! And my other guy friend, well his brother is disabled, so hes taking care of him all the time for his mom...It sucks, and he's the youngest and his older brother don't help at all. But we can all understand where were all coming from. And I know I should be greatful, and I am, because I know people do have it far worse off then me, and i'm greatful for what I do have. Like your friend Doug, thats crazy to endure that! You are a very brave women! Did you marry that man? :-D XD
Well i'm getting in trouble for voicing how i'm feeling, or comments they make that upset me and I let them know...and then my dad will say "for crying out lound!" and get mad because he did nothing wrong. My mom too will say it was nothing, when it was! and i've looked back on what i've said, thinking maybe I didn't say it right or something but I did. Or my grades, our teacher showed us what we were getting before exams so we know where were sitting before we go into them, well I told my mom (because I was proud of myself and thought I did good) and shes like "why are you doing so bad in this class!?" and blah blah blah... i'm getting high 80's and some 90's and thats what I get! my brother was lucky enough to even pass by and they were proud of him to at least pass. And then other day I got caught making out with a guy...so I heard that one...but i'm a teenage girl, its inevitable i'm going to kiss boys! at least it wasn't in my room or anything like that! 8-|
My friends and I talk all the time about wanting to move out one day, and we wish we could be like that tv show Friends XD and how cool it would be! were nerds....lol
Loading...
Honey! you can talk too me about ANYTHING! I live far away and can't slap you! ;-D When your sad, there is always a reason and IF you have a secret - one that you even feel you can't share with your cyber mom, ;-) then it is obviously eating you up! Heck I can just imagine if my parents had caught me making out!!!!! Holy Cow! Actually I think I would have been killed! In this day and age of teenage pregnancy etc, and NOW you are on the pill, you have to give your parents a bit of room on that one OK? So come on kiddo let the cat out of the bag!
Loading...
Your sure!?....Maybe I can find the post and show it to you? ... But if I show it to you, just know that I don't want to do anything...because I can't! You sure I should tell you!?
Loading...
OK now you are worrying me!! I CANT make you do anything honey! If I WANT you too that's one thing, but it is only you who CAN do something! I'm starting to get a sense of what you are talking about! Let me help you if I can OK Honey?
Loading...
Okay....here goes...
https://www.steadyhealth.com/What_exactly_classifies_as__rape__or_maybe_sexual_abuse_would_be_a_better_term_t232701.html
https://www.steadyhealth.com/What_exactly_classifies_as__rape__or_maybe_sexual_abuse_would_be_a_better_term_t232701.html
Loading...