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My story starts about two years ago. I started getting severe IBS. I constantly needed to go to the toilet and it would feel incomplete. I was told it was just stress but it severely affected my life and confidence. This became an obsession that crippled me. I also had a bout of severe malaria after which all of this happened. For a year and a half I felt uncomfortable being around people. However during the time I was still able to live a relatively normal life, went to classes when I could despite suffering from depression but I was also smoking a lot of weed and occasionally MDMA. In my second year of university I moved to a new house with flatmates and rather than going to classses, isolated myself and smoked weed almost all day everyday to overcome the feelings I was going through. I also met a boy and thought I had fallen in love.This ended in my first psychotic episode. I thought I was getting married to the guy and started having conversations in my head with him, thinking I was really talking to him. I even sent him messages and calls and told all my friends. It was soon evident to my family that I'd gone crazy. This got worse, leading me to have paranoid ideations such as that I was employed by facebook, that I was really adopted and lots of other psychotic thoughts. I was eventually admitted into hospital. I was given an injection of clopixol (200mg) and started on risperidone at 4mg. After 3 weeks in hospital and a week at home I started to normalize and realize what was going on. My medication was reduced and I refused further clopixol injections after being given 3. My medication was reduced to 2mg of risperidone.I started noticing changes in my body and mind though. My mind felt completely blank all the time. Before, despite my depression, I was a very bright student, scoring first class grades in all my essays and university work. After the episode, I find it completely impossible to read, listen to music, do anything really. I feel completely empty and joyless all day. I also noticed my hair starting to matte, my face and body bloat slightly and rash like spots all over my face and body. I  have lost interest in life completely. I no longer have the old paranoid thoughts and when I take the tablets my IBS goes away but I feel completely lifeless. The things that used to interest me just don't. I end up lying down in front of the tv watching repetitive things all day just to distract myself but nothing brings me pleasure. Going out with friends is a chore and just bores me. My mind seems to constantly go back to depressing thoughts such as how I got ill, guilt, misery and an endless stream of negative thoughts that I can only temporarily distract myself from but apart from that I feel dead inside, as if everything in life is useless and boring. I'm unmotivated to do anything and haven't felt a single moment of normal pleasure for months. It's been almost 6 months of medication now. A few weeks ago I switched from risperidone to quetiapine (Seroquel) 50mg in a hope that this would help but so far no change. I have also been prescribed an anti depressant Sertraline but have been reluctant to take it as the first day I did I spent the whole day in the toilet with severe diarrhea, frequent urination and slight derealization.I have tried doing activities such as swimming - I didn't have the energy and constantly thought I was on the verge of drowning! badminton, and other activities but again the lack of motivation and emotion towards it makes it hard to do anything.Has anyone else experienced something similar after a psychotic break and recovered? That is recovered their previous interests and emotional intensity and motivation to work and socialize?My current diagnosis is drug induced psychosis but considered possibly bipolar as my mum has bipolar disorder. Until the age of about 19 I was completely healthy and had no mental problems.

Hi ,
Your story is practically identical to that of my son , Rob. I am wondering how you are doing now ? Thank you for your story. Louise
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your story is identical to mine , my episode happened 7 months ago and since i got out off hospital , hanging with friends is a chore, i feel disconnected and not close to them very low level of joy and cannot feel chills when i listen to music or see something nostalgic
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