On Thanksgiving day '09' I found out that I was pregnant and was going to lose my baby all in one day. Earlier that day I woke up with sharp pains and I couldn't walk. My husband had to carry me down the stairs, this was ultimately the worse pain I've ever experienced. IMO it was worse than labor pains. Both my husband and I already have a three year old daughter. We are sooooo grateful to have her and she's a blessing to us, but we want to have a big family. My daughter always asks me "mommy can we go to the baby store to get a littler sister or brother." This breaks my heart, because we are ttc and even though it's almost been a year we still have NO LUCK. I see all of my friends and relatives getting pregnant and having babies, and I'm ashamed to say that I'm completely and utterly jealous of them :$ . I don't want to hear anything about their pregnancies. I know it's wrong, but I can't help it. I'm still so devastated over the loss of my baby. He/she would've been born July 4th 2010. There isn't a day that goes by, that I don't think of it. Each month I miss my period. It's taken a toll on me. My family and friends don't seem to understand. People that have never lost a baby by ectopic or a miscarriage don't see losing the baby as a big deal. A lot of people think, I should just get over it. I wish I could, but I can't. I desperately want to have another baby :'( :'( I pray everything works out, I'm trying my best not to think about it too much, hoping I will get pregnant.