Hey guys,
All evidence shown is that this thing is real and it's a problem. It seems like the first step is letting go of the feeling of guilt that it might happen. Probably the greatest contributor to anxiety that is felt is that men take their masculinity from how they perform with women. However, the actual desire to be romantic with a member of the same sex is likely 100% born, due to a difference in brain chemistry. As our society lets go of the stigma of being gay, then to should some anxiety about the possibility.
What needs to be explored, and I imagine it already has, is the link between internet pornography addiction, or sexually visual stimulation in general, and feelings of HOCD. The virtually limitless supply of pornographic images is something, on a evolutionary scale, that mammals are not programmed to encounter. As young men we endlessly search of sexual knowledge, but today is the first time in history where is it available in such quantity. As we become quite literally "tolerant" to traditional forms of viewing pornography (Playboy type centerfold, to standard male-female, to female-female, to multiple partners), your brain stops feeling the excitement, or dopamine rush, from viewing certain things. When this occurs, our brain simply seeks out or responds to different images, not because you are gay, but because it is DIFFERENT. This difference is merely something that gives enough kick to your pleasure center to the acquire the old feelings that seeing a lady in a bathing suit used to produce (remember those times? They were freakin awesome!). Sounds familiar? It should, because drug addiction operates the same exact way. We live in a free society, where men and women intermix freely and without guilt. However, we must recognize that the appearance and familiarity of sexual images in our society will have a very recognizable impact. The hunter gatherer only had an opportunity to mate with a limited number of females. In a city-based societies, your mating possibilities are only limited to your ability to receive consent. Some people take this information as suspect. But I ask your why would any healthy, straight male cheat on beautiful women? It's been observed across all cultures, and it linked to the Coolidge Effect. Your neurotransmitters get "bored" with that they get used to, and seek new ways to get them aroused. This same effect, when experienced to the max, has really devastated a man's ability to love and feel emotion for their female companions. In some cases, the brain gets kicked on when it views a male pornographic imagine that is different. But this isn't any feeling of romance or companionship, and fear not, pal, if you take away the addictive stimuli with has led to tolerance, you fairly quickly regain you original, natural desire.
What makes the link between HOCD and internet porn addiction so interesting is that those with OCD, by definition in the DSM, suffer from anxiety, and an obsession, which gives them a compulsion to do something. Well, sexual release, as I'd imagine most on this forum know, is a great escape from feelings from anxiety. Therefore pornography becomes a great way to relieve feelings of stress. But, as mentioned earlier, the brains adapts to viewing specific imagines and seeks new ones. You probably randomly stumbled upon a homosexual imagine and it triggered your brain because it was a novel concept. Now you have the social stigma of homosexuality, your feelings of masculinity (which are normal and should not be ashamed), you have an anxiety disorder and an addiction to seek new stimulating imagines. So is it really HOCD? No not really, it is OCD manifested in a specific obsession!
So relax my man, you're good. I convinced myself I had AIDS one time. I took a blood test and didn't get the results back for two months. Every single day I stressed about it to the point of nausea. This HOCD thing kicked in twice, both times they were started by some accident view while pursuing an internet porn addiction. The whole mess goes away from you remove your tolerance to sexual stimulation and when you relax about the possibility of it, people who are born gay are great people too and there's no reason to stress over it. I'm sure you're a good man, don't ever think otherwise.
All evidence shown is that this thing is real and it's a problem. It seems like the first step is letting go of the feeling of guilt that it might happen. Probably the greatest contributor to anxiety that is felt is that men take their masculinity from how they perform with women. However, the actual desire to be romantic with a member of the same sex is likely 100% born, due to a difference in brain chemistry. As our society lets go of the stigma of being gay, then to should some anxiety about the possibility.
What needs to be explored, and I imagine it already has, is the link between internet pornography addiction, or sexually visual stimulation in general, and feelings of HOCD. The virtually limitless supply of pornographic images is something, on a evolutionary scale, that mammals are not programmed to encounter. As young men we endlessly search of sexual knowledge, but today is the first time in history where is it available in such quantity. As we become quite literally "tolerant" to traditional forms of viewing pornography (Playboy type centerfold, to standard male-female, to female-female, to multiple partners), your brain stops feeling the excitement, or dopamine rush, from viewing certain things. When this occurs, our brain simply seeks out or responds to different images, not because you are gay, but because it is DIFFERENT. This difference is merely something that gives enough kick to your pleasure center to the acquire the old feelings that seeing a lady in a bathing suit used to produce (remember those times? They were freakin awesome!). Sounds familiar? It should, because drug addiction operates the same exact way. We live in a free society, where men and women intermix freely and without guilt. However, we must recognize that the appearance and familiarity of sexual images in our society will have a very recognizable impact. The hunter gatherer only had an opportunity to mate with a limited number of females. In a city-based societies, your mating possibilities are only limited to your ability to receive consent. Some people take this information as suspect. But I ask your why would any healthy, straight male cheat on beautiful women? It's been observed across all cultures, and it linked to the Coolidge Effect. Your neurotransmitters get "bored" with that they get used to, and seek new ways to get them aroused. This same effect, when experienced to the max, has really devastated a man's ability to love and feel emotion for their female companions. In some cases, the brain gets kicked on when it views a male pornographic imagine that is different. But this isn't any feeling of romance or companionship, and fear not, pal, if you take away the addictive stimuli with has led to tolerance, you fairly quickly regain you original, natural desire.
What makes the link between HOCD and internet porn addiction so interesting is that those with OCD, by definition in the DSM, suffer from anxiety, and an obsession, which gives them a compulsion to do something. Well, sexual release, as I'd imagine most on this forum know, is a great escape from feelings from anxiety. Therefore pornography becomes a great way to relieve feelings of stress. But, as mentioned earlier, the brains adapts to viewing specific imagines and seeks new ones. You probably randomly stumbled upon a homosexual imagine and it triggered your brain because it was a novel concept. Now you have the social stigma of homosexuality, your feelings of masculinity (which are normal and should not be ashamed), you have an anxiety disorder and an addiction to seek new stimulating imagines. So is it really HOCD? No not really, it is OCD manifested in a specific obsession!
So relax my man, you're good. I convinced myself I had AIDS one time. I took a blood test and didn't get the results back for two months. Every single day I stressed about it to the point of nausea. This HOCD thing kicked in twice, both times they were started by some accident view while pursuing an internet porn addiction. The whole mess goes away from you remove your tolerance to sexual stimulation and when you relax about the possibility of it, people who are born gay are great people too and there's no reason to stress over it. I'm sure you're a good man, don't ever think otherwise.
This is annoying me. I think i have hocd. i keep getting annoying thoughts that i'm gay but i'm not. Never in my entire life have i found men attractive in any way. I've always found women attractive. When I was younger, i put on lipstick and nail polish before when i was like 10 or 11 a few times. But after doing that i used to think, WTF am i doing & i would immediately remove the nail polish & lipstick. I dont know why i did it? But i never found men attractive. When i grow older, i want to marry a woman and have children of my own. I never found men sexually attractive, i only find women attractive. even before i was 10 r 11, i had crushes on girls and i liked them. But outta nowhere these thoughts came and it is really annoying me. I don't really like gay people at all. i find it disgusting. i have had girlfriends and i would have erections while kissing them. i have no characteristics of gay people. these hocd thoughts are repulsive and i dont like it. i cannot get rid of these thoughts at all.
Do you think this is HOCD?, please reply.
Hey guys, I have had this hocd for more than 4 years now, and it comes and goes comes and goes. I have been reading blogs over and over and I know that the day will come when I will be over this. This is just a painful part of my life which I totally admit. There is nothing wrong whith having hocd, when you are stressed and you fall in to depression the level of serotonin (chemical in brain) drops and it causes psychological misbalance. some people just get depression, some people end up getting some kind of ocd and there is category of people that get hocd which is normal. DO NOT TAKE MEDICATIONS, such as "Lexpro" Zoloft and others. Your doctor will tell you that medication is the only way to go but it's bull sh*t. You need to have CBT- cognitive behavioral therapy. I have had 1 session and then I got married and never had a chance to have the second one. But lately I got hit again by hocd which is just killing me, but I am the strongest person in this world I can send hocd and anything else in this world to hell. f**k HOCD!!!! Be strong, be confident, be happy and finally be man, god created adam and eve, not adam and steve, and you are not steve for sure. Good luck!
I am suffering from HOCD really bad dude its made my life a living hell every day I have wanted to die even though I have had a gf and now another one after a recent affair check out my topic I have posted I really need help on curing my HOCD fears I have been depressed and psychologically messed up and ive been really hurt to from everything including my horrible gf thats why I have cheated on her
ok ... so for the past couple of years when ive been jerking off ive been looking at gay and straight porn! i never really thought about it that much it was just something different! but now im worried! the gay stuff turns me and the straight stuff turns me on! i've never been with another dude and i never want to be with a dude! i love woman so much and ive had several relationships with woman! but i keep thinking that im lying to myself and im actually a gay and the scares the c**p outta me! and im really confused! argh.
I'm a 16 year old male (late bloomer) and a few months ago I just started getting these feelings that I'm gay and stuff and it's just played on my mind ever since its making me depressed and I just feel empty..like everytime I see a guy in a shop or something like that I get unwanted voices in my head like 'he's fit' and stuff like that...I tried out gay porn and stuff and never got turned on or got a boner I felt kinda sick watching it. Also it got to the point where I masturbated over a boy I know and once again never got a boner but when I masturbate over women I get a boner straight away....I sort of question myself almost like do u find that guy sexually attractive.personally I think it started because I've heard gay alot in my college and I was constantly thinking they were on about me. I hate when I'm on my own aswell because these are the times these thoughts come up..I also feel I'm not attracted to girls as much now....I DONT WANT TO BE GAY and I'm worrying so muchh have u gone through this is this normal ?
I feel u bro. this sh*t has been the worst experience of my life. But u can get over it. u just gotta face your fears and continue life. dont let it ruin u bro...god bless
your website is not working and i been suffering from hocd who knows what i have but i never been this way and i am dying inside
Hey man, I feel you there, I myself put on lipstick aged 6 or so, and then I though why the f**k did I just do that, I hated it. And it plays in you mind, am I gay or transexual or whatever. I too also have OCD and at times HOCD and can even set myself myself sometimes into an anxiety attack when I question my sexuality and the thought of lipstick etc run onto the back of the mind.
I do not think that its gay at all, it is just curiosity. It will help it you make fun of it i.e tell you family or close friends and joke about it with girls. This way it means that you are comfortable with it. But dont worry too much.
Hi Patrick, Dan here.... your email and websites are down... is your work still available?
Thank you so much
D
Thank you so much
D