I'm 17 and my boyfriend of almost four months is 18. I'm a virgin while he has had sex a couple of times. We've talked about having sex before and we're both ready, but I'm still a little nervous about how painful it'll actually be? He's fingered me a few times and only once (the deepest he's gone) has actually hurt. He says he'll go slow and being safe is not a concern (I'll be on birth control and he'll wear a condom as well). Is there anything to do to make it less painful the first time?
Hi D,
How painful it is varies on a lot of things.
1. Take your time with foreplay. You want to be as wet and dilated as possible.
2. Use extra lube.
3. Tell him to go very slowly.
4. TALK TO HIM. Let him know how you're feeling. DO NOT assume that he knows what he's doing because he is not a virgin. Communication can make it more pleasurable for both of you.
Some things are not in your control. Tissues are going to stretch and tear, that's common. There may be some blood if your hymen tears so be prepared. His size is going to make a difference as well.
Just don't rush it.
Good luck.