My most closest and best friend is going to kill herself if she does not come to realize Ambien is the reason for her issues.
Her and I after 7 years hooked back up via email. Since last June her and I talk every day and her and her daughter have come here from NYC to visit 5 times.
She started with Ambien as most do, due to insomnia. This was three years ago. I had no idea the severity of her being on it until earlier this year. She was to come visit. I received a message from her 12 yo daughter at 3am that she found her mom on the floor unconscious and bleeding from falling off a chair. At that point I did not know it was the Ambien.
Now that she has come to visit, I have seen first hand what it does to her. She stumbles, falls, is incoherent, lights a cigarette and it falls to the floor and she does not know it. She will sleep the day away, just to take another because she cant sleep. And when she drinks with it???? It is ugly.
When she visited for my BD a couple weeks ago, she fell into the walls, nearly down the stairs, I found her roaming the yard a 3am. I literally had to carry her to bed and keep her there otherwise she would had ended up in the hospital.
Her daughter is scared to death that she will come home from school and find her dead. I am scared everyday until I hear from her. And when I dont, I panic. When she calls and tells me she is ending it, it takes all I can to bring her back. It sucks living 500 miles away.
Her Mom (who I have never met) tries to let her know what she is doing. She defends the drug saying she HAS to take. Otherwise her doctor would not prescribe it.
I had (well attempted) to have a conversation about it and she would not let me talk when she knew where the conversation is going.
How does one get through the other about the consequences? I told her, that her daughter is scared, I told her if she keeps it up, she will not see her daughter reach the age of 18. I told her, if her daughter sees her again in the state she was in March, her father will get custody and she will never see her again.
Although we are not in a relationship with each other, each of us is everything to the other. So I really need ideas on how to get through to her, before she loses her daughter, or her daughter loses her.
Thanks
Her and I after 7 years hooked back up via email. Since last June her and I talk every day and her and her daughter have come here from NYC to visit 5 times.
She started with Ambien as most do, due to insomnia. This was three years ago. I had no idea the severity of her being on it until earlier this year. She was to come visit. I received a message from her 12 yo daughter at 3am that she found her mom on the floor unconscious and bleeding from falling off a chair. At that point I did not know it was the Ambien.
Now that she has come to visit, I have seen first hand what it does to her. She stumbles, falls, is incoherent, lights a cigarette and it falls to the floor and she does not know it. She will sleep the day away, just to take another because she cant sleep. And when she drinks with it???? It is ugly.
When she visited for my BD a couple weeks ago, she fell into the walls, nearly down the stairs, I found her roaming the yard a 3am. I literally had to carry her to bed and keep her there otherwise she would had ended up in the hospital.
Her daughter is scared to death that she will come home from school and find her dead. I am scared everyday until I hear from her. And when I dont, I panic. When she calls and tells me she is ending it, it takes all I can to bring her back. It sucks living 500 miles away.
Her Mom (who I have never met) tries to let her know what she is doing. She defends the drug saying she HAS to take. Otherwise her doctor would not prescribe it.
I had (well attempted) to have a conversation about it and she would not let me talk when she knew where the conversation is going.
How does one get through the other about the consequences? I told her, that her daughter is scared, I told her if she keeps it up, she will not see her daughter reach the age of 18. I told her, if her daughter sees her again in the state she was in March, her father will get custody and she will never see her again.
Although we are not in a relationship with each other, each of us is everything to the other. So I really need ideas on how to get through to her, before she loses her daughter, or her daughter loses her.
Thanks
that is so scary I took ambien that my niece gave me to sleep one day, well I take 9 nerve pills a day and thought I could take this during the day and drive home. Well I rear ended someone that day only 20 minutes later. tell her doctor your concerns, talk to her or stay the nite with her and record her do something. I think she should sue them. alot of people should. good luck, maybe its time for a visit.
And that is an issue also. She is on anti-depressants also. She is bi-polar, which I have known for the ten years I have known her. She knows if she goes into the dark hole of depression, I am there to drag her out. It seems only I can do that for her.
But when it comes to the Ambien, she will not listen to me. She just hangs up the phone. Her and her daughter are coming in a couple weeks. The next conversation will be face to face and she will have no where to hide. And I will have her daughter there for the conversation, so she can remind her Mom of the night she found her passed out and bleeding from a fall. I will show the pictures to her of how she looked after the fall. I just dont know what to do. It is like I need go to NYC, without her knowing to meet her mom and talk to her, her brother, son and daughter and make a plan.
If I could get the name of the doctor, Heck i would start the lawsuit. Then again, she would just find another to give it to her. It is easy in NYC. I thought maybe she was getting it from multiple doctors, but her daughter said it is only one.
As of right now she was to start school today, to finish her last semester. She did not make it there I suspect as I have not heard from her this morning.
Many have said to walk away, but I cant do that to her or her daughter. I care too much for them.
Thanks for the response.
But when it comes to the Ambien, she will not listen to me. She just hangs up the phone. Her and her daughter are coming in a couple weeks. The next conversation will be face to face and she will have no where to hide. And I will have her daughter there for the conversation, so she can remind her Mom of the night she found her passed out and bleeding from a fall. I will show the pictures to her of how she looked after the fall. I just dont know what to do. It is like I need go to NYC, without her knowing to meet her mom and talk to her, her brother, son and daughter and make a plan.
If I could get the name of the doctor, Heck i would start the lawsuit. Then again, she would just find another to give it to her. It is easy in NYC. I thought maybe she was getting it from multiple doctors, but her daughter said it is only one.
As of right now she was to start school today, to finish her last semester. She did not make it there I suspect as I have not heard from her this morning.
Many have said to walk away, but I cant do that to her or her daughter. I care too much for them.
Thanks for the response.
Notify her doctor and let him know what is happening to your friend. Ambien can be nasty and it's side affects can be deadly. Sleep walking is one of them. Combining the other meds she is on along with the Ambien and washing it all down with alcohol is a recipe for death.
But you know what? There really isn't a thing you can do. I had the same problem with one of my kids who was an addict. It didn't matter what i said or did to help. It just made her angry with me. Judgement day came when i called the police on her and had her arrested. That was a year ago and we celebrated her being clean this past June. You can get in the way and make all the noise you want, but she has got to "hit" her low point and recognize.
You can orchestrate an intervention of sorts. Bring in her family and those that are the closest to her and have a licensed interventionalist there for support. He/she along with the fam and friends can possibly help her see that what she is doing to herself is dangerous and deadly, everyone working together can help her make the move towards rehabilitation. You can not make an addict do something if they don't want to, but you all can help make her see that what she is doing to herself can produce nothing but a bad outcome.
I know there is many miles between you two, but with the help of her daughter, maybe you can make a few phone calls and set it up. Plan the day and make it a point to be there. You surely need a professional there as an addict will not listen to family or friends, they sort of control themselves a little bit if there is a stranger in the mix, especially a stranger who knows what they are dealing with.
You may "drag" her out of her hole of depression, but it's only temporary as she falls back in when your not around.
Have her daughter look at her script and tell you the doctors name, then go from there.
But you know what? There really isn't a thing you can do. I had the same problem with one of my kids who was an addict. It didn't matter what i said or did to help. It just made her angry with me. Judgement day came when i called the police on her and had her arrested. That was a year ago and we celebrated her being clean this past June. You can get in the way and make all the noise you want, but she has got to "hit" her low point and recognize.
You can orchestrate an intervention of sorts. Bring in her family and those that are the closest to her and have a licensed interventionalist there for support. He/she along with the fam and friends can possibly help her see that what she is doing to herself is dangerous and deadly, everyone working together can help her make the move towards rehabilitation. You can not make an addict do something if they don't want to, but you all can help make her see that what she is doing to herself can produce nothing but a bad outcome.
I know there is many miles between you two, but with the help of her daughter, maybe you can make a few phone calls and set it up. Plan the day and make it a point to be there. You surely need a professional there as an addict will not listen to family or friends, they sort of control themselves a little bit if there is a stranger in the mix, especially a stranger who knows what they are dealing with.
You may "drag" her out of her hole of depression, but it's only temporary as she falls back in when your not around.
Have her daughter look at her script and tell you the doctors name, then go from there.
Her daughter tried last week to get the name off the bottle and her Mom caught her. Asked what she was doing and her daughter explained what I wanted. I was and still am in the ringer for asking her to do it.
But no one, especially a 12 year old should have to bear witness to what is happening to her Mom. Let alone babysit her Mom.
And the really scary part right now is, her daughter is with her dad for the summer, so she is alone. And she hates being alone. Last week she passed out and was burglarized and was not even aware of it. I told her they could have raped her and she would not even had known.
I just feel better typing and getting this off my chest. It has been a huge issue that no one where I live knows about. Still waiting for a message from her today. sigh
But no one, especially a 12 year old should have to bear witness to what is happening to her Mom. Let alone babysit her Mom.
And the really scary part right now is, her daughter is with her dad for the summer, so she is alone. And she hates being alone. Last week she passed out and was burglarized and was not even aware of it. I told her they could have raped her and she would not even had known.
I just feel better typing and getting this off my chest. It has been a huge issue that no one where I live knows about. Still waiting for a message from her today. sigh
It's good that this little girl is with her dad for the summer, no child should have to bear witness to what her mom is doing, nor should this child get stuck babysitting for her either.
I know you are scared for your friend but you can not be responsible if something happens to her. She evidently still thinks that nothing is wrong and until she sees that there is a problem, this abusive behavior will continue.
Get hold of this little girls dad and make him aware of what is going on. This women is endangering his child and he probably wouldn't be to happy once he finds out. This child is 12 and she is forced to take care of her mother, how sad is that? This girl should not have a care in the world, she is a child and should be allowed to have a childs life, not a caregiver to a strung out mother.
I know it makes you feel better talking about this here, but talking and venting is not getting the problem fixed. If she is coming to visit, get on the phone and make some calls. I know you don't want to "rat" out your friend, but you may be saving her life.
When she pays her visit to you, she will obviously bring her meds with her, you say she passes out right? When she is in one of her stupors and is snoozing away, get into her business, look for the pill bottles and note the name or names of the doctors, take note of what the medication is, then you will have your ammunition to at least start to help.
People die all the time because of doctors that perscribe and perscribe and perscribe. My 30 year old claimed she had every problem under the sun and her doc would perscribe scripts straight over the phone. Neurontin was the one that flipped her over the edge. She had a phycotic episode in my car, 50 miles from home. I drove back to our neck of the woods and took her to the ER, they admitted her then sent her to a phyciatric ward for 2 weeks, she totally flipped out. The doctor asked me to go to her apartment and get all her pills and bring them to him, (the ER doc) there was a ton, including freakin Ambien. She would also drink with the pills which added insult to injury.
Do it, if she gets mad, so what. Contact every one and anyone who will listen, make an ass out of yourself, the squeaky wheel gets all the attention. 6 months from now, your friend will realize just how special her friendship with you really is, and you can know that you helped save her life.
I know you are scared for your friend but you can not be responsible if something happens to her. She evidently still thinks that nothing is wrong and until she sees that there is a problem, this abusive behavior will continue.
Get hold of this little girls dad and make him aware of what is going on. This women is endangering his child and he probably wouldn't be to happy once he finds out. This child is 12 and she is forced to take care of her mother, how sad is that? This girl should not have a care in the world, she is a child and should be allowed to have a childs life, not a caregiver to a strung out mother.
I know it makes you feel better talking about this here, but talking and venting is not getting the problem fixed. If she is coming to visit, get on the phone and make some calls. I know you don't want to "rat" out your friend, but you may be saving her life.
When she pays her visit to you, she will obviously bring her meds with her, you say she passes out right? When she is in one of her stupors and is snoozing away, get into her business, look for the pill bottles and note the name or names of the doctors, take note of what the medication is, then you will have your ammunition to at least start to help.
People die all the time because of doctors that perscribe and perscribe and perscribe. My 30 year old claimed she had every problem under the sun and her doc would perscribe scripts straight over the phone. Neurontin was the one that flipped her over the edge. She had a phycotic episode in my car, 50 miles from home. I drove back to our neck of the woods and took her to the ER, they admitted her then sent her to a phyciatric ward for 2 weeks, she totally flipped out. The doctor asked me to go to her apartment and get all her pills and bring them to him, (the ER doc) there was a ton, including freakin Ambien. She would also drink with the pills which added insult to injury.
Do it, if she gets mad, so what. Contact every one and anyone who will listen, make an ass out of yourself, the squeaky wheel gets all the attention. 6 months from now, your friend will realize just how special her friendship with you really is, and you can know that you helped save her life.
Thanks for the advice. I had planned when she comes to get in her bag and see what all she is taking and from whom. I have recruited a female friend I know, who has met her in the past to get in contact with her and start conversing, (they talked tonight already) then talk to her about all of our fears. maybe from an outsider, she may realize what the consequences may be.
Thanks again. I'll keep you informed.
Have a wonderful night.
Thanks again. I'll keep you informed.
Have a wonderful night.
Well a followup. My friend did not make it here two weeks ago. Her Grandmother is very ill and she stayed back to stay with her.
But since I last wrote, our friendship has gone in the tank. 6 weeks after her daughter tried to get the info I wanted, she still picks at the scab and rips me apart for involving her daughter. I told her, "You do know your daughter called me twice about this subject in the months leading up to involving her, so she is well aware of the situation".
So sadly, I have backed away. It is killing me that she is blaming me as to why she needs it. She told a mutual friend if I so much want her to get off of it, don't hound her about it. Funny thing, I have not mentioned it in over 4 weeks, SHE brings it up. And she gets mad at me for the stupidest things now. She can call me and text me all hours of the night, I send 2 texts at 4am after she called me at 3am and I am the bad guy. This morning she was texting me at 5am.
So, I guess this topic is done with. Thanks for all the ideas and suggestions.
But since I last wrote, our friendship has gone in the tank. 6 weeks after her daughter tried to get the info I wanted, she still picks at the scab and rips me apart for involving her daughter. I told her, "You do know your daughter called me twice about this subject in the months leading up to involving her, so she is well aware of the situation".
So sadly, I have backed away. It is killing me that she is blaming me as to why she needs it. She told a mutual friend if I so much want her to get off of it, don't hound her about it. Funny thing, I have not mentioned it in over 4 weeks, SHE brings it up. And she gets mad at me for the stupidest things now. She can call me and text me all hours of the night, I send 2 texts at 4am after she called me at 3am and I am the bad guy. This morning she was texting me at 5am.
So, I guess this topic is done with. Thanks for all the ideas and suggestions.
You just have to realize that you should not take this to personnaly. "It's never an addicts fault, ever" They could murder someone or a rob a bank, but it's never their fault, according to them.
Your friend needs to fall out flat on her face before she can recognize. Just be in the wings, especially for her child.
Now you back off, totally. Ignore her texts, she is trying to instagate a situation between the two of you. She is looking to blame someone, anyone other than herself.
Your friend needs to fall out flat on her face before she can recognize. Just be in the wings, especially for her child.
Now you back off, totally. Ignore her texts, she is trying to instagate a situation between the two of you. She is looking to blame someone, anyone other than herself.
I feel so bad for you and your friend and especially for the young daughter. I had just posted on the ambien addiction page, under Hockeyjoe, please read it. I wish I could help you and your friend. Like my post reads, my girl friend, whom I am very much in love with, I feel is an ambien addict. I am always seeing new bruises, she says they are from me, grabbing her, or us rough housing. I feel these violent twitches when she sleeps, the whole bed shakes. She often seems aloof and distant. Then when a glass of wine is introduced it's over. She becomes a different person and that's when the fights happen. Often times we will fight (argue) and she wont even remember it the next day. That leaves me feeling pretty bad. Her Grandmother is the one with the perscription and since my girl friend is in the health care field, she helps administer the meds. I feel that perhaps the grandmother doesn't ever require ambien, maybe it's for my girlfriend. Maybe there are other prescriptions too. Anyway, we have broken up about 6-7 times, we'll spend a few days apart and then she'll be back for a few days. Then an argument will occur and she's gone again. back to staying at the grandmothers house. I am keen to the ambien use. I can tell when she takes it, often times she will aviod coming to bed for about 15-20 minutes, then once her head is on the pillow, conversation is all over the map. I think she may take them during the day also, she has hit things when driving and not had a very good story as to what happened. Her Mom has caught her walking around at night, and on one occasion she has fallen into the refrigerator. She had the bruise to prove it. Our relationship is almost over, I am at the end of my wrope. I am starting to think that I am crazy. What advice or info can you send my way. We are in troubled waters and I really don't want to see her "hit rock bottom"
What can you tell me about symptoms, what does your friend do. Do these stories sound alike.
What can you tell me about symptoms, what does your friend do. Do these stories sound alike.
I too have a dear friend who is addicted to ambien. She has been so incoherent and like off for the past year, that all of her friends have stopped going out with her because she leaves us embarassing. Whenever we are together, she forgets important stuff we tell her, she isnt able to drive, caused 2 accidents while she was on the drug, she has difficulty speaking and sometimes we are barely able to understand what she is saying, she is light headed and appears dumber than what she is. seeing she was a smart girl it's a pity she became like this. She was unable to maintain her job because of this drug and on top of it, she sometimes drinks while on the drug. we have talked to her along her family about this since one day she fainted however she still takes this drug. she promised to stop and says she isn't tking it anymore but we can see she is still on it . we dont know what to do anymore and we want to help her before its too late and she overdoses herself
I just lost someone I love very much because of Ambien. It was on unexpected. His mother was in denial. It is such a dangerous and addictive drug. Even these anti-depressants have such dangerous side effects. They are saying that everyone is b-polor now with chemical imbalances only to drug them up and make them sick. What a vicious cycle. I would have her daughter put her in a detox facility immediately before it is too late.
Ambien ruined my marriage and now I see it doing the same thing to my cousins marriage of 30 years! This drug is terribly addictive and scary bc some of the things the person does and does not even know it! My ex would hide his and then say they were stolen. It made him paranoid, mean and do crazy things. I wish I could sue the drug company for the pain and hell I went through living with an Ambien addict! This drug should be banned, it makes people crazy, changes them totally and makes them violent. They deny they are addicted, they and you can't help them, at least I couldn't help my ex. I just got out and had to save myself.
Definitely let her doctor know. Maybe they can give her a lower dose, space out the dosage so she only gets one every other day so she is forced to use it only on nights she really can't sleep. she should also probably only use it in bed and stay in bed, lock the door and don't let her wander around.
I don’t even know where to begin sadly. Ambien has all but destroyed my relationship with my girlfriend. It should first be mentioned she takes a lose maintenance dose of Prozac daily. Her ambien use started a few years ago when she was forced to take a position working midnights. She could not get adjusted to sleeping during the day so her doctor prescribed her the script. It wasn’t long after, she started exhibiting all the classic symptoms of abuse to the drug. Eventually her doctor recognized what was happening and discontinued her script for it thankfully. Fast forward to last summer when she apswitched physicians, she began taking it and abusing it hard. She became combative and very defensive. She was removed and disengaged from conversation. Eventually she became a shell of her former self. I had to work out of state during the week and was traveling. While I was gone she made several attempts to move out of our home while I was gone. Even going so far as to putting a down payment on a house. She wound up trying to sneak out the week before Christmas without me knowing but I had become wise to her plans and came home the day she arranged to move out. She did and within a m9nth of her new lease she was begging to move back home. At the advise of her therapist we agreed she should stay in her lease to teach her accountability for her behavior. I caved in a few months into her lease and allowed her to come home. Within a week of being back, she got fired from a very good job in health care. She rebounded from the job loss but was forced to take a position working nights once again. This summer the abuse started again. This time she is having her meds mailed to our home in 3 month supplies. She has slipped into a deep depression. She is barely awake on her days off and I suspect she is taking them as she is getting off shift in the mornings and driving home. Her appetite is erratic, hardly eating to devouring whatever she can find. Her weight has ballooned, and she falls out of bed. She will blame it on a dream she is having but I have seen it before and do now better than to believe that. She is mak8ng arrangements as I type this to move out once again. I feel helpless as I can do nothing to help her. I fear she is going to hurt herself if she doesn’t botttom out first.