How to save a life!

Dearest Renetta34: It's me! I have been wondering how you are doing and now I find this posting! You remember how I told you to help yourself 1st and foremost? Still is true hun! You need to be strong in yourself before you can be strong for others. The ONLY person you can change is yourself. How are things with the other problem? I think about your situation all the time. You are highly stressed out, due to your past and the loss of your granmother. Your brother inlaw made his bed! There are many people hurting out there right now, they don't all turn to crime. It is tough - that is for sure. But all you can do is help yourself 1st and foremost, THEN take care of your sisters problems, and basically it is the same for her too. She has to turn to social assistance and have them help her while her husband is in jail. There is ALWAYS tommorrow Renetta! Remember that OK? Today could be one of the worst days of your life, but tommorrow could be the best. Tell your sister that too, and set an example for her! When you come to grips with your past and you have done SO well with that, then her admiration for you will be what she needs to go further. Because what she IS going through is NOTHING compared to what you have endured. So keep on with what you have been doing, and everything else WILL fall into place. I am proud of you Renetta! But also worried for you too. Get that inner strength again and your sister will follow suit OK!? Best of luck and health hon!

I haven't been total honest about the whole thing. See my sister and live together with our husbands and her children. We don't have a lot of money so 11 years ago we decided to get a house together and try to help one another and that's what we've been doing. So everything she goes though I go though and vice-versa and we just can't separate because we have 30 years on this house. I know I have to look out for myself and I'm truly trying to. I'm just so stress out right now. I got very sick Saturday night and I believe that I threw up blood I know my stomach is uneasy but I'm so tired of the doctors until sometimes I think about just dropping out-of-sight. The therapy is helping my sister not me because we talk about my past and the incest on the first day and every time since we've been talking about my home life but I like him I guess we will get back to that one day. I'm just confused and tired and sick you know like my whole body is sick. But I don't have the swine-flu :-). I have a mental flu :'(. Love Ya!

You should put a trademark on that!!!! XD I am not saying seperate from your sisters problems - of course when you are under the same roof how can you? When you go back to the therapist, get back on track OK? HE HAS to help you with your past 1st THEN on your present. That presence inside you will NEVER go away until you and your therapist kick it's but out of there!!! You know what I`ve always found funny about therapistsÉ Is that people go to them for YEARS!!! I`m like - get your money back!!! He`s not working for you!!! LOL - It`s like people that go for YEARS to the chiropractor!! Just remember you are in charge of the session, he is just paid to listen and give you answers. Tell him you need to get back onto the subject 1st. THEN you will deal with now! Sounds like you have an ulcer by the way!!! You need to get that checked out, because you threw up blood. It can be very dangerous if you start bleeding from your stomach. Take some probiotic yogurt, if you can stand it! More and more doctors believe that ulcers are caused by infections and bad bacteria. I think you need the biggestbox of Calgon you can get your hands on and have Calgon take you away!!!! You are the mother of the family, but right now you have to be the most selfish mother that ever existed and take time for yourself and work on getting better - both physically and mentallyemotionally. THEN work on the rest of the family. Right or wrong there is alaways the mothering one of a family, and you are it. So lead by example, it WILL get better honey!!! You just have to be selfish for a bit. The word selfish is such a negative now, but I think it should be used more and more - ESPECIALLY for women. Go to the doctor, have him take care of your stomach. Go back to the therapist and say - lets talk about my past 1st. And tell your family that you ALL WILL get through this crappy time TOGETHER!!!!! OK! I wish you all the health, and peace of mind in the world Renetta! And if you ever need to have a go at someone I`m here!!! Much love