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I am 17 year old female, and I have been masturbating for only a few months. I always feel really guilty, but thats mostly cause I am a christian and you know they pound in that its wrong and such. Though it gets confusing...anyways I want to stop, but I can't. I do it at night before bed and sometimes during the day when I am bored. I have read that you should like focus on other things, but I have a hard time doing that, when I get it in my head that thats what I want to do, I just do it. I don't have my license so it's not like I can get out of the house, I have very few friends so don't always have anyone to call. And I am constently telling myself that it will be the last time, well of course it's not. Also I am homeschooled so I spend a very good portion of my day at home, and then another very good portion in my room alone, and no one really bothers me so I have plenty of oppurtunity. Any tips on how I can stop or even just get in the mind set to do it less would be greatly appreciated. Thanks XD

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lmao. its perfectly healthy to masturbate. theres no point to stop? if it makes you feel good theres no need to stop
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My dear young lady,

I understand your difficulty and even share it myself. Though it seem strange someone to give advice who yet struggles with the addiction (yes I said addiction), I think it's more personable to write with someone who is willing to level themself with you.

Masturbation certainly is an addiction, every time you masturbate you enjoy, it IS pleasurable, no denying that. It's those feelings of pleasure and euphoria though that you become addicted to, much like the Gambler or the Substance Abuser becomes addicted to their particular vice. So what do you, the Gambler, and the Substance Abuser have in common?

The need for a "fix".

When the Gambler feels the risk involved in high stakes games, the Substance Abuser snorts or shoots up, or you have an orgasm, chemicals are released in the brain and the actual physiology of the brain changes. This has been observed through fMRI brain scans and other medical tests. While I am no expert in this field I do have first hand contact with doctors and nurses who have affirmed my findings. You become addicted to the desire to feel the orgasm, to have the pleasure, and those chemicals are released in your brain and you only begin to crave the feeling more and more... and the craving tends to lead to more exotic desires, images, thoughts, and situations. Just as the Substance Abuser needs a little bit more to give him his fix, so too you will need "more" to feed the lust.

Now, you said you feel guilty, and I assume you also feel a bit "enslaved" by masturbation. But you also made a comment in your post that lead me to believe your Christian faith was somehow to blame for your moral dilemma, that if you weren't raised as such then maybe you would be free from such feelings of guilt and shame. Do you really believe this though?

Here is a question, an extreme situation, but I think it makes the point. Does a person need to be raised in a certain belief system in order to know that raping a baby and then chopping it into pieces is wrong? Maybe. The real question we must ask though is WHY it is wrong and have good reasons to back up our explanation. For instance, in the Christian worldview rape and murder is wrong because it violates someone created in the image of God and therefore is a violation of God. In this view morality, right and wrong, are grounded in the character and nature of God. In any case, the feelings if guilt and shame still remain with you, the question you have to ask yourself is why, and if it isn't because of God then what? What ever conclusion you come to, whether the feelings are truly real or not, make sure you have a sound, logical reason for your conclusion that fits reality.

I say reality because it's easy to lie to yourself and believe what you tell yourself when you're an addict... sometimes you need other people to help you see your own deception. This is where some practical advice comes for you.

1.) Find someone you respect and trust to share your struggle with, and if you really wish to stop ask them to keep you accountable.
2.) You will have to gauge this, but, if you feel your parents are willing to hear you out, and help... talk with them. I know it may feel impossible to tell them, but if they truly are understanding, they will be your best friends.
3.) Sit down and figure out what the steps or thoughts are that lead you to masturbation. Sometimes it's a pop up on a website, a word, a smell, even certain feelings can trigger the desire. For instance, when you feel depressed, angry, hurt, sick... masturbation is used as an escape. Often times people masturbate because they have things that NEED to get done but instead take the pressure off by masturbating (and then really find themselves pressured by time.)
4.) Get plenty of sleep an exercise, the desire to masturbate comes easily when you are tired AND have free time. "Idle hands are the Devil's workshop" as the saying goes.

Finally, encouragement. As far as I understand the Christian faith, God doesn't expect perfection from you and knows you are just as much a sinner as anyone else. By my observation, just because someone becomes a Christian it doesn't mean they are somehow less sinful that anyone else, however, that does not give Christians a license to live a lascivious and immoral lifestyle. Even though the Christ met God's standards, the Christian, if they truly are a Christian according to their scripture, ought despise what God despises and love what God loves... even though they may fall into the same sin. It's really a matter of the heart isn't it? If the heart really is changed shouldn't the behavior of the Christian too? Here again, read your book, perfection does not come in this life.
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dont need to stop masturbaiting it is perfectly normal ive seen posts that say masturbation is for the devil its not you can be christian to masterbait it dosent matter go for it and have fun
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