I am feeling the same way as u.. I had a family party at my bf family and I remember I stay up with is family and he got to bed .. I don't remember much but once I was at the bathroom crying at 5-6 am ... next day I Start to feel stress and guilty cause I don't remember last night .. 2 month I still stressed about that night .. scared of if I did something bad so I'm keeping drinking cause I try to stop thinking and stressing :( I do believe I have ocd too.