I am 19 years old, and I have been with my boyfriend since I was 15, 3 and a half years, After about 2 years we tried to have sex, but I just could not do it, It was not the fact that im not ready or uncomfortable im completely fine with everything just the part of knowing it is going to hurt, freaks me out. I get all tense once he starts, and sometimes it feels like he has to be doing it wrong because it hurts so much! I have tried so many times, and I just feel so guilty because he has been so patient but I know that he is hiding his frustration and I want so badly to just forget about the pain and do it, but how, can someone give me some good tips.
Theres no doubt that the first time hurts and a lot in my case I know it might sound funny but I bit into a pillow it helped a lot :D
I was like this too, however some people can experience their vagina tightening because they are that scared and therefore it makes it painful. The night I lost it I had a couple of drinks - not to make me drunk- just to sort of relax me
In my opinion drinking just kills the beauty of it
Do not give up!! :)
Me and my boyfriend had the same problem, at first he couldn't even insert a finger into my vagina!!
We tried for 11 month (yes! almost a year!), and I tolerated too much pain during these months, but finally it worked!
My suggestion to you, you need to trick yourself somehow! Because, it is all in you mind, and your vagina unconsciously is afraid of having sex!
Some people trick themselves by drinking or smoking before having sex, which did not work for us!
We did this a few times and it really helped:
we tried to turn me on and exactly before reaching the orgasm he inserted his penis into me, and I had my orgasm by rubbing my clit and him moving his penis inside me, at first even this (which is just a few seconds) was a little painful. But, I reached a point that I was enjoying it, and you can not imagine how happy I was at that moment!
You can also try this, after a few times, your vagina will notice that it is enjoyable to have an orgasm while a penis is in there, and it will stop being scared of the penetration!
p.s. English is not my first language, sorry if some sentences do not make sense or ...