As I have said before Katy! I GET YOU!!! I GET that feeling of not being loved and it IS from our childhoods - both your families and mine have a LOT to answer for! The best revenge is for us both to be the best mother we can be - and we are! Our children know EVERYDAY that they are loved and treasured! So NOW how do we make ourselves loved and treasured ? Haven't got a clue!! I really don't! I KNOW my children love me, and we say it too each other every day! BUT do I feel loved? NO! I feel that If I got on a bus and went away that no one would miss me! IS this REALITY!? NO! BUT to me it is - as I hear it is for you too! It is from that ZERO touch and acceptance we didn't get when we were growing and forming our identitites! I think about my ex's - who too said they loved me - with great fondness and think 'THEY loved me!" They were no different to my husband and my boys - but they were the past, when I was slim and felt better about myself! It is AWFUL what has happened to you, me, and millions of others - men and women! I hope that by you and I talking to each other we can counsel each other! I laugh really because - like I apologized to you about - I tell you to do this and that! BUT this is after YEARS of me taking it too! I am about 40% ahead of you with life! So what I am going through NOW I am telling you to do - 40% of time ago! Does that make sense? So basically I am reliving my experiences again because of you! So thus me being able to tell you what to do! Would I have listened if someone was 40% ahead of me? I don't know!
Oral sex - to me anyway - is about trust and sometimes power! You have neither for him! So I think that is why you are having problems with your throat! I would REALLY like you to get a swab of your throat Katy - because he HAS been sleeping around! So this WORRIES me! I think when you saw the doctor and started talking about being a baby, I think you lost him! What he doesn't know is how you were made to feel that YOU shouldn't have been born! A baby picks up on those feeling of distance and lack of tenderness, and you have SUFFERED as I have for your ENTIRE life for those initial feelings of "Not quite being good enough!" That is how I feel EVERY day, that I am just not quite good enough to be loved or respected! IF you were to ever meet me you would NEVER think I think this way! I am SURROUNDED by sisters - my girlfriends and guy friends! I have a LOT of love in my life - sent out my way! Do I know this YES! Do I FEEL it? NO! I have several guy and girlfriends that call me "beautiful" as in "Hey beautiful how you doing today?" Have I EVER felt beautiful? NEVER! Quite the opposite! THAT is ALL from my parents and family unit!! ALL of it! And at 45 years of age, I REALLY don't think I can overcome that self loathing and helplesness!
This is why I am on here Katy - to tell you that I GET YOU! And I CARE VERY MUCH about you and your wellbeing! AND also to say - "Just because we have such pain in our hearts, and our essence has been destroyed, it STILL can be done and I am SO proud of you for plodding along with this"! It's HARD, it's HUMILIATING, BUT eventually it WILL be Empowering! And it WILL work out honey I PROMISE! Because you and I are Kindred, Whatever you have done or have experienced I HAVE! And I think that is why I repsonded to your 1st email a year ago! I came on this site asking a question for my dad and WHAM here I am a year later - so there was a reason why! So HANG in there OK!? And I will hang in there with you! OK? BIG HUGS My FRIEND!
Oral sex - to me anyway - is about trust and sometimes power! You have neither for him! So I think that is why you are having problems with your throat! I would REALLY like you to get a swab of your throat Katy - because he HAS been sleeping around! So this WORRIES me! I think when you saw the doctor and started talking about being a baby, I think you lost him! What he doesn't know is how you were made to feel that YOU shouldn't have been born! A baby picks up on those feeling of distance and lack of tenderness, and you have SUFFERED as I have for your ENTIRE life for those initial feelings of "Not quite being good enough!" That is how I feel EVERY day, that I am just not quite good enough to be loved or respected! IF you were to ever meet me you would NEVER think I think this way! I am SURROUNDED by sisters - my girlfriends and guy friends! I have a LOT of love in my life - sent out my way! Do I know this YES! Do I FEEL it? NO! I have several guy and girlfriends that call me "beautiful" as in "Hey beautiful how you doing today?" Have I EVER felt beautiful? NEVER! Quite the opposite! THAT is ALL from my parents and family unit!! ALL of it! And at 45 years of age, I REALLY don't think I can overcome that self loathing and helplesness!
This is why I am on here Katy - to tell you that I GET YOU! And I CARE VERY MUCH about you and your wellbeing! AND also to say - "Just because we have such pain in our hearts, and our essence has been destroyed, it STILL can be done and I am SO proud of you for plodding along with this"! It's HARD, it's HUMILIATING, BUT eventually it WILL be Empowering! And it WILL work out honey I PROMISE! Because you and I are Kindred, Whatever you have done or have experienced I HAVE! And I think that is why I repsonded to your 1st email a year ago! I came on this site asking a question for my dad and WHAM here I am a year later - so there was a reason why! So HANG in there OK!? And I will hang in there with you! OK? BIG HUGS My FRIEND!
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Dawn- Ill come back to that email- icant sleep and I am shattered! I cant take that pill either as its making me sick-But-you made me realise a HUGE something! This is irrelevant from the last email-and believe me I wil come bac to that even if it makes me feel just a little unsure and insecure!
I was doing the maths in my head. I breast fed my first child til she was 2 and a half. ten my second till more than 3 years of age. Thats nearly 6 years out of the 1- ive been a mum , and for three of them Ive been down-would you think theres a connection there? It was all the baby talk and me thinking about it-you knwo whne youl ook at a baby and there focus ( very young baby) but ther focus is on those that they really really trust and know and I am always amazd by the give aways signs that I still find it astonishing. Anyway, I cant sleep its the 4th night and Im still having a drink to try and make me relax and sleep and nothing is working, my throat is really painful, and ny eyes es are really itchy.
My sister caled.shes been diagnosed with arthrits and has to go in tohospital for some kind of ultrasound on her liwer abdomen. She thinks its cause she cant have babies! Its worrying- but to be honest I wouldnt be surprised as shes weighed in at 6 stone without thinking aboutit for years!
Anyways, I hope your all right-I just cant sleep-okay working on the pc want help either- I just cant switch off plus ive an exam in less than 10 days that will be intense and Ive done sfa for~
I was doing the maths in my head. I breast fed my first child til she was 2 and a half. ten my second till more than 3 years of age. Thats nearly 6 years out of the 1- ive been a mum , and for three of them Ive been down-would you think theres a connection there? It was all the baby talk and me thinking about it-you knwo whne youl ook at a baby and there focus ( very young baby) but ther focus is on those that they really really trust and know and I am always amazd by the give aways signs that I still find it astonishing. Anyway, I cant sleep its the 4th night and Im still having a drink to try and make me relax and sleep and nothing is working, my throat is really painful, and ny eyes es are really itchy.
My sister caled.shes been diagnosed with arthrits and has to go in tohospital for some kind of ultrasound on her liwer abdomen. She thinks its cause she cant have babies! Its worrying- but to be honest I wouldnt be surprised as shes weighed in at 6 stone without thinking aboutit for years!
Anyways, I hope your all right-I just cant sleep-okay working on the pc want help either- I just cant switch off plus ive an exam in less than 10 days that will be intense and Ive done sfa for~
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I dont know -that was a night time thought.
well-its Friday again and Im supposed to be in Glasgow! have you ever ben there Dawn? Its the fubbiest of places! Its a place where I still get wolf whisteld at- I can have greasy hair an da hairy face and wear long skirts and probably have sue coming out-some weirdoo will still whistle! people walk around with limbs missing and still sell the big issue with their govan voices, but you can be wearing posh clothes or whatever and someone from Govan simply doesnt care- if you look unhappy - they even ask you what is the matter-youve got to watch though cause there are those druggies ready to take you on! Its funny as I dont kive there anymore I see it a bit differenlty and sometimes theres such a comical side to all of it
Anyway-lost the plot- I realy better do some studying. Ive sort of given up on my course as I cant get funding and Im wndering the worth of it- im I better off doing a jewellery course? Okay your pointIs exactly why I ende up In glasgow in the first place. Im the black sheep of my family. My sister won designer of the year and gradedt the highest n Scotland when doing her art stuff. Mum was an art teacher and she and her bonded through that. I had nothing except the odd..skelp across the ear and I always felt like the outsider. My dad was alwyas a little more synpathetic-but these days looking back on all that it all angers me . all of it. Like you say our revenge is to love our children-but I believe its like a poker game-il do somtheing along the way that will effect them and probably have allready-even studying seems selfish.
Dawn ( I hate this expression but I have to put it ( LOL) ( yeah that :!: But I get that you get me! Sometimes I wonder if you actually know me and youveout a fake name against Bambi.
Okay-my youngest had a tantrum about daddy tyaking her to school . Im like Beca you could have done that half an hour ago so that I ocould have had a lie in....okays-so he says " it doesnt matter " i m thinking all these years , and it doesnt matter . Spear me my breats! I mean-he has never really done this before- so it has put me in a little of a shocked mode mood-he syas "I thought we were afamily unit" It mad eme feel sick- and I know hes still mourning his mum etc I still cant get my head round it-but if I told you what I image up every time I think about his mother youd pee yourself laughing-so -okay I was going to tell you but I guess I shouldnt speak ill of the ded! ( Ill get piunished for that later!).
Ive another optician today. My point being that I knkow quite a few alcoholics-most of which actually get up in the mornings and have a whisky and coke -hold down perfectly good jobs, have perfectly good lives, and also are perfectly intelligent. They dont walk into walls, get knocked down by cars, find it hard to correct typoos-panic because theyre world has gone wobbily and feel as often sick as I do-why i enndedup goign to my doctors in the first place was my inability to cope -it wasnt really to protest about alcoholism and at that poitn I wasnt drinking as much as I am now! the whole thing has made me worse. they screen you for it-as obvuiuosly if you calim depression it would be the first thing to look out for I guess. Last night I felt so faint though.Ive not taken citalopram for 4 days now, my stomach wel dodgie and yes, Ive realy strange earache-but think thats as I couldnt sllep and blow my head off with my ipod!
This is the other thing that gets to me. I love my children. i remeber watching my own mum and dad seperate and the threats and violence was awful-my mum still tries to claim maintenace of my dad and she stil bad mouths him. My dad speaks fodly of my mum which makes me feel ultimately a little bit more healthier, but as soon as dad reahces out to me, my step mum steps in -( I dont think she likes me one little bit ) and want let my dad talk or even help!) But that gets me angry as he used to be a really strong willed man-with such a temper on him. I used to be terrified of him, yet loved him. Poor dad. thats the thing ..he used to park the car outside my bedroom window . I had this small room that had painted clouds and a green carpet - god know s they forgot the rainvow (silly parents) and He used to sit outside in the car watching. When they split I remeber thinking what now-its total inner turomil and having to adaot to adult lives 24/7 there way , his way her way, differnt houses, rooms , people, and even having to hide the fact that you knew his girlfriend was sleeping about and a tal humiliation...Mum was so moodie Imoved into my dads when I ogot the chickenpox, i remeber being il and not eating and getting deliriium and passing out //I was 14...I remeber it well as when I got back to school it was summer and a fw weeks later my aunt died.....anyway, I ve lost the plot ...yeah feelings off "Il never ever quite be good enough -im a missfitwill always be there-does everyone feel like that? Maybe they do! Yeah I lost track...he sees us aas a faily unit then sleeps about etc and hes obviously got a date as his best shirt is hanging in the kitchen waiting...Im going to sprey it with some off perfume so that whoeever she is get s a whiff( maybe not!) Anywa I dont get it!
well-its Friday again and Im supposed to be in Glasgow! have you ever ben there Dawn? Its the fubbiest of places! Its a place where I still get wolf whisteld at- I can have greasy hair an da hairy face and wear long skirts and probably have sue coming out-some weirdoo will still whistle! people walk around with limbs missing and still sell the big issue with their govan voices, but you can be wearing posh clothes or whatever and someone from Govan simply doesnt care- if you look unhappy - they even ask you what is the matter-youve got to watch though cause there are those druggies ready to take you on! Its funny as I dont kive there anymore I see it a bit differenlty and sometimes theres such a comical side to all of it
Anyway-lost the plot- I realy better do some studying. Ive sort of given up on my course as I cant get funding and Im wndering the worth of it- im I better off doing a jewellery course? Okay your pointIs exactly why I ende up In glasgow in the first place. Im the black sheep of my family. My sister won designer of the year and gradedt the highest n Scotland when doing her art stuff. Mum was an art teacher and she and her bonded through that. I had nothing except the odd..skelp across the ear and I always felt like the outsider. My dad was alwyas a little more synpathetic-but these days looking back on all that it all angers me . all of it. Like you say our revenge is to love our children-but I believe its like a poker game-il do somtheing along the way that will effect them and probably have allready-even studying seems selfish.
Dawn ( I hate this expression but I have to put it ( LOL) ( yeah that :!: But I get that you get me! Sometimes I wonder if you actually know me and youveout a fake name against Bambi.
Okay-my youngest had a tantrum about daddy tyaking her to school . Im like Beca you could have done that half an hour ago so that I ocould have had a lie in....okays-so he says " it doesnt matter " i m thinking all these years , and it doesnt matter . Spear me my breats! I mean-he has never really done this before- so it has put me in a little of a shocked mode mood-he syas "I thought we were afamily unit" It mad eme feel sick- and I know hes still mourning his mum etc I still cant get my head round it-but if I told you what I image up every time I think about his mother youd pee yourself laughing-so -okay I was going to tell you but I guess I shouldnt speak ill of the ded! ( Ill get piunished for that later!).
Ive another optician today. My point being that I knkow quite a few alcoholics-most of which actually get up in the mornings and have a whisky and coke -hold down perfectly good jobs, have perfectly good lives, and also are perfectly intelligent. They dont walk into walls, get knocked down by cars, find it hard to correct typoos-panic because theyre world has gone wobbily and feel as often sick as I do-why i enndedup goign to my doctors in the first place was my inability to cope -it wasnt really to protest about alcoholism and at that poitn I wasnt drinking as much as I am now! the whole thing has made me worse. they screen you for it-as obvuiuosly if you calim depression it would be the first thing to look out for I guess. Last night I felt so faint though.Ive not taken citalopram for 4 days now, my stomach wel dodgie and yes, Ive realy strange earache-but think thats as I couldnt sllep and blow my head off with my ipod!
This is the other thing that gets to me. I love my children. i remeber watching my own mum and dad seperate and the threats and violence was awful-my mum still tries to claim maintenace of my dad and she stil bad mouths him. My dad speaks fodly of my mum which makes me feel ultimately a little bit more healthier, but as soon as dad reahces out to me, my step mum steps in -( I dont think she likes me one little bit ) and want let my dad talk or even help!) But that gets me angry as he used to be a really strong willed man-with such a temper on him. I used to be terrified of him, yet loved him. Poor dad. thats the thing ..he used to park the car outside my bedroom window . I had this small room that had painted clouds and a green carpet - god know s they forgot the rainvow (silly parents) and He used to sit outside in the car watching. When they split I remeber thinking what now-its total inner turomil and having to adaot to adult lives 24/7 there way , his way her way, differnt houses, rooms , people, and even having to hide the fact that you knew his girlfriend was sleeping about and a tal humiliation...Mum was so moodie Imoved into my dads when I ogot the chickenpox, i remeber being il and not eating and getting deliriium and passing out //I was 14...I remeber it well as when I got back to school it was summer and a fw weeks later my aunt died.....anyway, I ve lost the plot ...yeah feelings off "Il never ever quite be good enough -im a missfitwill always be there-does everyone feel like that? Maybe they do! Yeah I lost track...he sees us aas a faily unit then sleeps about etc and hes obviously got a date as his best shirt is hanging in the kitchen waiting...Im going to sprey it with some off perfume so that whoeever she is get s a whiff( maybe not!) Anywa I dont get it!
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sh*t sh*t sh*t-im loosing it...I mean Ive just had my period but feel like I havent feel so grotesque I want to rip my skin off.Argh!! Whats happening???/Im crying because I had one of my whats seems to be a total emotional teenagers tanttrum! i dnont know what to do ! It is me-I am the b***h from hell!!! He did the school run and came home with breakfast for oth of us and its sent me off on one. I dont know I hate people that treat you like this and turn a blind eye and then try and b kind-it makes me feel empty and my forehead wrinkles. I dont feel well-theres no where to g o...oh yead-STOP DRINKING! this isnt about drinking. this is how ive felt about me for years in fact since I can remeber.. I feel yuck and Im scared of what I want to actually do to myself I feel im going mad!
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okay-Dawn-okay -I can do this , I will do this -I dont care if the rest of the world gives up on me I dont care. I do care about my children and there welfare. In fact thats the most important thing. ANd yes, whilst I am an alcoholic, im not your atypical alcoholic that drinks all the time in front of the children not giving a toss, I am worried about what they have sen and what they haven t etc, but Ive also just found out through the grapevine and this was painful especially today, that my children have been talking about it and its becoming an obsession for them. THATS NOT RIGHT! And my heart has to go in their very little special heads...My head needs to be straightened out-i was thinking NO right this advice is all riwrong and I drink because blah blah blha, the thing is my drinking will probablygo on when im out of this, but not to such an extent-that why I guess I dont see me as an alcoholic - does that make any sense?
Sio, as the only house available to us is ( council wise) is a 3 bed flat at the bottome end of a tower block in Niddrie and is GROUND FLOOR ( i do not wish to accpet anything like that0 could you imagine having 2 teenagers growing up in that and could you imagine the nose droppers etc and the window smashers and lets just lets not go there. Okay so I found this shop its advertising lots and It must be to do with the current climate-but there a shop which is advertising to lets ( nott dsomething I d really wanted to do) But Im starting to think heck imagine being at peace evenm if I am onely and unloved at least I want be begging /wishing that I could just be loved by him -god knows why I do that? Anyway. so this is whereI am starting now, Unfrunished to bed flat in a okayish area near their friends and school, and that takess dds housing benefit-right now thats seems to me to be the only choice. theres jjustno point being bitter or hurt or anything like it anymore! and this man needs to realise not to treat women that he so call loves in this manner-confined to a small space and used at hi beck and call sod that -what am I doing? Maybe Im starting to see things clearer as aim not taking that citalopram-though I feel weak and coldy and faint lighteheaded. ( maybe its a cold) But Ive been eating like a horse. ive been finding new foods. Yes, Youve experienced a fist for Katy-soemsort of vegetarian curry=-serves 3 but whoops I ate it all in one big bang go ( whoops!@) Anyway, girls need fed so must sgo, Take care, Do you think I should do this-Im scared ill crack at the point I eed to be strong because these days theres just no telling what my crazy head is goijng to do next-but I d rather not murder anyone!
Sio, as the only house available to us is ( council wise) is a 3 bed flat at the bottome end of a tower block in Niddrie and is GROUND FLOOR ( i do not wish to accpet anything like that0 could you imagine having 2 teenagers growing up in that and could you imagine the nose droppers etc and the window smashers and lets just lets not go there. Okay so I found this shop its advertising lots and It must be to do with the current climate-but there a shop which is advertising to lets ( nott dsomething I d really wanted to do) But Im starting to think heck imagine being at peace evenm if I am onely and unloved at least I want be begging /wishing that I could just be loved by him -god knows why I do that? Anyway. so this is whereI am starting now, Unfrunished to bed flat in a okayish area near their friends and school, and that takess dds housing benefit-right now thats seems to me to be the only choice. theres jjustno point being bitter or hurt or anything like it anymore! and this man needs to realise not to treat women that he so call loves in this manner-confined to a small space and used at hi beck and call sod that -what am I doing? Maybe Im starting to see things clearer as aim not taking that citalopram-though I feel weak and coldy and faint lighteheaded. ( maybe its a cold) But Ive been eating like a horse. ive been finding new foods. Yes, Youve experienced a fist for Katy-soemsort of vegetarian curry=-serves 3 but whoops I ate it all in one big bang go ( whoops!@) Anyway, girls need fed so must sgo, Take care, Do you think I should do this-Im scared ill crack at the point I eed to be strong because these days theres just no telling what my crazy head is goijng to do next-but I d rather not murder anyone!
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Im so emotionally drained today! I dont really know why I burst into tears at that back to work interview-I guess it was the "so nothing has changed then" ..... thats the coment of the week. Im feeling the pressure to change-but ive decided both /all of it has to go away together. When imove out with my girls Ill have to be in a relaxed and confident enoughplace to do so , to enjoy it and not pick up a drink at the first knock1
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Answer me a question, when your mom had her period was she psychotic? I am REALLY starting to think about you and your periods and possible premenopause - I know you are still young, but what age did you mom go into menopause? Do you ever remember her loosing the plot?
Where is Niddrie compared to where you are now? Is it still close for the girls school? That souns horrible - I wouldn't live in a ground floor flat either! Just hang in there and see what else comes up!
Where is Niddrie compared to where you are now? Is it still close for the girls school? That souns horrible - I wouldn't live in a ground floor flat either! Just hang in there and see what else comes up!
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Some of the posts ( make me laugh) sorry but I know people get anxiuos -but really.....just tell them Dawn that the virgin Mary gave birth to baby jesus-( whoops ) that sif you re not religious :$ I mean call me bonkers-but can I have a baby with my jeans on.....anserw, No=-itd get stuck in the between your knickers jeams and all that mess!
Sorry been joking with my sister. Shes desperate to have children . Shes 37-and her gp has sent her to a gynacologist because shes having pains-real bad pains above her leg/lower right abdomen. She shwoed me whatever it was at christams time pulsating away! I joked with her about it-to be honest Im really worried for her because I know shes not being honest with me when she says "she doesnt really mind if she cant" I think thats a cover up. Plus I know that shes been trying and no joy yet-god I could do with some good news...Like Katy -your going to be an aunty-when can youbabysit? Poor sister- I dont know where she gets her strenght from shes so much stronger than me, so much stronger but in a ophysical way than a mental way. I reckon she hides her issues moreso than me!
Sorry been joking with my sister. Shes desperate to have children . Shes 37-and her gp has sent her to a gynacologist because shes having pains-real bad pains above her leg/lower right abdomen. She shwoed me whatever it was at christams time pulsating away! I joked with her about it-to be honest Im really worried for her because I know shes not being honest with me when she says "she doesnt really mind if she cant" I think thats a cover up. Plus I know that shes been trying and no joy yet-god I could do with some good news...Like Katy -your going to be an aunty-when can youbabysit? Poor sister- I dont know where she gets her strenght from shes so much stronger than me, so much stronger but in a ophysical way than a mental way. I reckon she hides her issues moreso than me!
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I think she has an ovarian cyst! she needs to ask for a transvaginal ultrasound! do u read my other posts? I answer more questions about sex and diseases than anything else! 8-| XD
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Niddrie is rough! My mum was a moodie when she had her periods, but she didnt go into menopause until about 49 ish.....But dawn my periods have made me like this isnce early 20s. The only time it was good was when expecting and feeding!
My mom seems to live in her own wee bubble like a 5 r old- its like she s balnked my life COMPLETELY! Is that normal? Everytime she see her Gp shes told she has Lupus. Mum laughs about it-but im worrried as they keep teling her everytime she gets bloodwork done!
My mom seems to live in her own wee bubble like a 5 r old- its like she s balnked my life COMPLETELY! Is that normal? Everytime she see her Gp shes told she has Lupus. Mum laughs about it-but im worrried as they keep teling her everytime she gets bloodwork done!
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Yes dawn ive read a few-some people eh 8-| God .....my profile should read USE A CONDOM! save you a lot of hassle! Mind you im sure I used a coondom- hahahahhahaha when I conceieved. I think 16 is too young-what do you think, but I am more aware that kids are starting to do it younger. ther was one girl i worked with who had just turned 16 and had a needle contraception thing in her arm-yuck! I know when your pregnant prople can laugh and say "shes been doing it"Men are luckier that way. But a needle in the arm euch!
I bet you a fiver youll b right about my sister as everyone apart from me has had these-not just little ones either but bloody big melon sized ones, and mum for instance had to argue for months that its wasnt ibs..then when they operated they removed a melon sized cyst. Just think whats that done to her other organs? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Anyway, when my children start to think about that syuff ( s. e . x) ill tell them to be safe etc but jesus marie!( Sorry Im not very religious as yuove probably gathered!)
I bet you a fiver youll b right about my sister as everyone apart from me has had these-not just little ones either but bloody big melon sized ones, and mum for instance had to argue for months that its wasnt ibs..then when they operated they removed a melon sized cyst. Just think whats that done to her other organs? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Anyway, when my children start to think about that syuff ( s. e . x) ill tell them to be safe etc but jesus marie!( Sorry Im not very religious as yuove probably gathered!)
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OMG-theres another one. Someone comenting on erectile dysfunction, ( serious problem that huh) erm...it says Omg, take 10mg of med before contemplating sex In between meals Ya what? I dont know is it normal to have sex in between meals-im I missing ou here?
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No it gets worse-DURING OR INBETWEEN MEALS XD XD XD XD XD dONT KNOW ABOUT YOU, but that could get a little messy!
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Thats not funny! I didnt realise you could get an sti with oral sex-sh*t! o.O Joking no more-see im still lerning!
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