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I just don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I've never really been right but I feel like it's really catching up to me because I hardly ever feel good anymore. I'm talking depression, anxiety, mood swings, a massive amount of stress in my life, hair thinning, constant back pain, brain fog, very low energy, went from being a very physically fit to gaining 40 lb, sometimes tingling and fingers, I don't do cold well. Had an ovary rupture but by the time they figured out why I was losing so much blood there wasn't enough left of it to see what caused it. I know I have some endometriosis. Was tested by a rheumatologist because of positive ANA and positive anti ds DNA. But they could not give me an explanation as to why these are high. Next is supposed to be an endocrinologist. Been tested for thyroid many times and it's low but within normal range. I just can't put my finger on what is wrong and nobody seems to be able to help. But it is becoming hard to function and it is really starting to have a massive impact on my life and well-being. I just don't know where to go from here. Isn't there such thing as a doctor who does more than just say well, it's not that. Isn't there one that will attempt to get to the bottom of it? I always thought fibromyalgia was not real. But I've read about it and it just so much sounds like me. All of it. I don't know, but I am really starting to fold and I don't know what to do.

I am 44 and I'm a female. Forgot to mention that. I've been pregnant every year that I have been in my 40s and miscarried each time at the 8 to 10 week mark. Stress seems to trigger this more than anything but it has been inescapable for the past 5 years. I now drink too much and I know that doesn't help. But I also know it didn't cause the problem, actually vice versa because I was feeling like this before I started numbing myself with alcohol. I've always had attention issues and I've always had extremely strong emotions. I've been on and off of different depression medicines. They do not help at all. Only make me gain weight. I am now on 20mg of Adderall and that seems to help more than antidepressants. But not enough. I just cannot pinpoint if it is emotional if it is hormonal or what could be causing it. I just know I am so frustrated and most of the time I feel either angry completely disengaged or I just want to cry. I feel so helpless.
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Just feel like I'm really really starting to spiral down. It's a combination of physical and mental but I'm really getting to a point where I need mental help bad. I tried for almost a year to seek proper help as I really need more than a counselor. To no avail. Cannot find anyone who will work with my insurance and I cannot afford out of pocket. They say there's help out there but I'm here to tell you mentalhealth doctors are almost impossible to obtain for many.
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Health Hero
1626 posts
Sorry to hear this.
You really need help from a health professional. But, because you cannot afford them, what do you think about trying online therapies?
You can find certified psychologists from other countries who will help you, but at lower rates.

When you mentioned fibromyalgia, have you ever consulted anyone about your condition? From what you have told us, it seems that it can be some sort of an autoimmune illness that you have. Have your doctors ever conducted tests for them?
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