i want to be pregnant again! why did i let my bf force me into a abortion!!!!

I totally understand you. I feel the same way...the exact same way. My bf didn't nessisarily force me, but he was def more for it then I was, I could have left the clinic, but I didn't, and now sometimes, well, almost everyday, I wish I did. My relationship has been really really, really rocky since four months ago when I had the procedure done. I mean, rocky like we've almost broken up more then just a couple times, even said the words, but we can't seem to do it, we love each other to much, and have been through a lot together, we've been together for 3 years now. And he also has two twin boys who are 5 with another woman he was with a long time ago. They have a lot of history together...but they live in texas and we both live in New Jersey....besides, she won't even let him see them without supervision, but that's a whole nother mess. She took the kids from him and ran to texas where her famliy is, and he's been fighting a battle for custody ever since. It's a mess....she basically kidnapped their children. Anyways. I can imagine me reacting the same as you with him seeing his son. You feel deprived, while he gets to enjoy his other child with himself. It seems selfish doesn't it??? But I guess why I answering to your post is because I haven't seen my bf with his kids, that I have a little advice on a side you can't see exactly. One you have to figure...did he plan his son with his ex girlfriend? I mean, if not, maybe because it's a struggle enough with the whole having a kid with an ex type thing. A child is a huge responsiblity and he knows that. You don't sound crazy for saying that to him, your just a little messed up and confused from what happened. I totally relate. I mean, seeing my bf struggle through his kids with his ex, it's really hard on him. And it hurts me to see him that way. Maybe that's why I haven't been so crazy with him about my abortion. I knew we weren't ready in our relationship for a baby. At the same time, no one ever is, right? That's why I still feel like I wish I would have never gone through with the abortion....but he should pay more attention to you, and ur feelings on this...it takes a long time to find closure as woman, and having that natural instinct to wanting to be a mother. He has to understand the way your feeling about this. And that, you don't actually not want him to see his son, cause his son needs his father. It's just coping with something like abortion it takes a lot of time, and a lot of trust love and care..lots and lots of TLC. You two need each other. Communication is key...you should tell him how you feel, not this website...even if you told him before how much it hurt you, you need to MAKE him understand that what has happened to you will never go away, but it will heal, you just need someone to fall back on...and that's why you've been going soo crazyyy...you feel alone...believe me I know how you feel...I really do, ur definitly definitly NOT alone~Jill...if you need someone to talk to just get back to me k.

I went through the same thing with my boyfriend. I know we would have been excellent parents, but we were not financially stable at all. You still need to let him be a parent to his son. His son isnt going to understand why it hurts your feelings, all he's going to know is his daddy isnt coming around when he should be. Think about it... Dont punish his son for something that isn't his fault. That will just make you a ***edited by moderator*** ** inappropriate posting**