I had an abortion to save my relationship but my boyfriend left me

i first want to tell you i was in a similar situation. me an my boyfriend had been trying to conceive for 9 months or so i thought he had never said anything till it was too late but he told me that after the 3rd month he had decided he wasnt ready to have another baby( he already has a 4 year old son with his highschool sweetheart) and that he thought it wasnt gonna happen. in october 2008 i had appedicitis and was very sick so of course i had to have emergency surgery and the whole 9. well i got pregnant just 2 weeks after my surgery and i started having really bad mood swings (i didnt know i was pregnant because that was the last thing on my mind at the time) i broke up with my boyfriend and kicked him out of our apartment at 4am in the begining of december for absolutely no reason!! and it just got worse from there. i found out i was pregnant about 2 weeks and many severe mood swings later. at first when i told him he said i was lying and he wanted proof so i went to the drs and i was so excited they said i was and i was about 8 weeks and that i was due august 13 i had the early ultrasound and everything was good. then he said it wasnt his because hes not fertile.. (haha i laughed very hard at this one because feb. 07 we lost a child together as well as he already had a son and had supposedly lost a child with his sons mother as well) after many arguments and about 2 weeks he knew without a doubt it was his then it got worse. he told me that he was going to kill himself if i did not have an abortion. i refused at first and told him he was lying, but he kept saying it over and over and one time he even told me when i hang up the phone he was going to shoot himself in his car on the highway. when i was about 12 weeks i lost my job, a week late i was evicted from my apartment and i had lost my car a few months before. i finally gave in and had the abortion on february 11,2009 because i was afraid i wouldnt be able to provide for the child, but i wanted that baby so bad it kills me. for the first week after i would go into these panic attack like things i guess where i would be fine and then i would just start crying and choking and i couldnt breathe for hours. we are in very similar situations and it would be great to have someone to talk to. many times i have thought about suicide and i even ODed on the hydracodone they gave me after the procedure but i believe the only reason i havnt actually gone through with it is because i believe i may be pregnant again and im scared because its only been 4 weeks today since the procedure. hang in there god never gives us anything we cant handle. i hope to hear from you


**edited by moderator**

Hello, first of all I am VERY sorry to hear about what has happened to you. I know what you are going through tho. I had an abortion with my boyfriend of 4 years. It was agreed upon that I would get an abortion in the event that I got pregnant. Well it happened in December (6 mos ago) and I had the abprtion scheduled for Friday. The day I told him I had it done, he turned on me. He refused to go to the clinic with me, and refused to drive me home. Since I was embarassed and felt irresponsible for getting pregnant, I didnt tell anyone else and just drove myself home. That afternoon and evening he was home with me for a total of 2 hours. I had a few complications with the operation and was not in the best shape. Well the next day he told me that he wanted to keep the baby, actually it was twins (saturday). Then sunday he dumped me and wouldnt tell me why. He tells people now that he is pro life. I havent heard from him since.

My boyfriend physically assaulted me until I agreed to have an abortion. I was young and it scared me half to death so I did as i was told... 5 days later this girl moved in with him. My parents never knew what happened. I would like to say it gets better, but 17 years later I still cry and basically relive it.. I'm sorry this happened to you. I see this is an old post so I hope you are doing ok now. Pregnancy crisis centers have counselors that can help you if your having problems

Hey there! Can you please inform how you have been..